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Small-Scale Question Sunday for January 1, 2023

Happy New Year!

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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Why are fast food french fries so dogshit?

They are literally billion dollar companies that literally made their billions making fried shit. Yet most fast food fries are limp dicked excuses of a french fry.

I am irrationally infuriated just sitting here thinking about the sad state of mcdonalds fries. Maybe the real social decay began when mcdonalds stopped frying using beef fat and switched to whatever mystery hydrocarbon they are using now. I am just offended how can you have a commercial deep fryer at your disposal and produce this soggy shit, like what level of not giving a shit about anything do you need to be in aggregate to fuck up french fries.

My thoughts on fast food fries:

  1. Culver's: always hot and fresh. Crinkle cut supremacy.

  2. Five Guys: greasy in a good way.

  3. Wendy's: the best of the low-tier fast food fries.

  4. McDonald's. Too small and thin for my tastes.

  5. Taco Bell. Yes, TACO BELL has better fries than...

  6. Burger King. Consistency/texture issues. Sometimes not fresh or hot. Not very salty.

Honorable mentions to Chick-fil-a and Whataburger. I haven't been able to patronize these establishments since my move, but the former would land somewhere around Wendy's, and the latter above BK.

Culver's: always hot and fresh. Crinkle cut supremacy.

Sadly I have the opposite take on crinkle cut, though I agree that Culver's fries are otherwise excellent. I won't eat fries from any place that has crinkle cut, because that cut just ruins the fry.

They serve crinkle cut in prison, and prison food is designed to be awful.

Never speak to me again. 😁

But, really, the greater surface area and angular surface enables superior ketchup coverage.

True, but it also ruins the ratio of crisp exterior to tender interior. And let me tell you, I can glob ketchup on even the thinnest, most nebulous of fries. 😉