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Small-Scale Question Sunday for January 1, 2023

Happy New Year!

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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Why are fast food french fries so dogshit?

They are literally billion dollar companies that literally made their billions making fried shit. Yet most fast food fries are limp dicked excuses of a french fry.

I am irrationally infuriated just sitting here thinking about the sad state of mcdonalds fries. Maybe the real social decay began when mcdonalds stopped frying using beef fat and switched to whatever mystery hydrocarbon they are using now. I am just offended how can you have a commercial deep fryer at your disposal and produce this soggy shit, like what level of not giving a shit about anything do you need to be in aggregate to fuck up french fries.

Back in the 80s, most restaurants used lard or tallow for deep frying. But then vegans/vegetarians 'convinced' restaurants to move away from animal fats. Or at least that was the excuse many chains gave. It was likely a cost issue, along with the demonization of fat in those days.

IIRC, McDonald's spent a lot of time, money, and effort to maintain the flavour of their fries when they switched. I wouldn't be particularly surprised if McDonald's pushed the change, in order to get their competitors to follow along with inferior fries, thereby gobbling up marketshare (which they did).

In 2007, McDonald's began moving away from trans fats. I believe this was because of Fred Kummerow, who then went on to petition the FDA to ban trans fats, then sued the FDA, then the FDA decided to ban it. The ban went into full effect in 2019.

I know I've definitely found fast food to have absolutely plummeted in quality over the past decade or so.

Anyways, I'm surprised there's no 'lab-grown tallow'. You'd think that would be easier and cheaper to make than lab-grown meat. Maybe there is? I wonder if it'd even be legal.

Now there's a growing war on PUFAs. We're just whittling down a major component of our diet. It's strange how regulation after regulation, meant to 'help' keep people 'healthy', results in an allegedly 'unhealthier' ingredient taking its place, which becomes justification for more and more regulations. Fats are the greatest enemy of the food industry, since fats make you feel fuller and eat less. They are going to fight until they can eliminate every single gram of fat from our diets, so we can consume more and more food. They'll fight to eliminate animal proteins, and make us use whatever proprietary protein source they've developed. They are turning the people into bottomless pits.

My thoughts on fast food fries:

  1. Culver's: always hot and fresh. Crinkle cut supremacy.

  2. Five Guys: greasy in a good way.

  3. Wendy's: the best of the low-tier fast food fries.

  4. McDonald's. Too small and thin for my tastes.

  5. Taco Bell. Yes, TACO BELL has better fries than...

  6. Burger King. Consistency/texture issues. Sometimes not fresh or hot. Not very salty.

Honorable mentions to Chick-fil-a and Whataburger. I haven't been able to patronize these establishments since my move, but the former would land somewhere around Wendy's, and the latter above BK.

Culver's: always hot and fresh. Crinkle cut supremacy.

Sadly I have the opposite take on crinkle cut, though I agree that Culver's fries are otherwise excellent. I won't eat fries from any place that has crinkle cut, because that cut just ruins the fry.

They serve crinkle cut in prison, and prison food is designed to be awful.

Never speak to me again. 😁

But, really, the greater surface area and angular surface enables superior ketchup coverage.

True, but it also ruins the ratio of crisp exterior to tender interior. And let me tell you, I can glob ketchup on even the thinnest, most nebulous of fries. 😉

Burger King's are just straight vessels for salt, I've found. Which, as I like salt, isn't a bad thing.

I've never understood the Five Guys excitement, and I have to say, I found them not greasy enough for my tastes. The rest of your list I agree with, barring Culver's, which I've never tried.

You also didn't include Arby's curly fries, which I'd put near the top if not at it.

Five Guys might get old if you go there frequently but I always enjoy the fries. Arby's... I've been there maybe two or three times in my life. Like KFC or Hardee's, it's just been in the background for my whole life.

Burger king's fries seem like their onion rings; potato paste that's extruded into fry shapes and fried.

Most fast food fries are pretty good in my experience. Are you getting them delivered by chance? delivery fries are always much much worse, it's one of the foods that suffers most from being steamed in a bad and let cool for 15+ minutes

McDonald's fries can be good if you eat them when they're piping hot. Similarly, Chick-Fil-A fries are actually really good if you eat them right away. But with both of those, even 10-15 minutes of cooling off (like if you're grabbing them and then driving home) makes a world of difference.

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Transfats legislation killed the french fry, the hash brown patty, the corn dog.

When I was in fast food, we used peanut oil for the most delicious shoestring fries. Topped with ketchup, or chili and cheese, or even “everything,” they were practically a meal by themselves.

I have not since tasted their equal, though I have tasted their near lesser. If you ever pass through Albuquerque, go to Golden Pride, a local fast food chain. Their fries are delicious and crunchy, a real treat.

What does trans fats have to do with peanut oil?

I dont live in the US so no legislation where I live, but cost is a pretty good reason to use flavorless industrial oil products anyways. Mcdonalds and Burger King taste identical to the US.

I just dont understand why fries are so neglected, they are the second most important component in just about any fast food meal. I certainly would make the trip if I was offered half decent fries even at a respectable markup. Is no one else demanding better fries?

Honestly, Im contemplating just buying some beef fat and making my own, it feels like a distant memory since I had a good french fry.

Chic fil a and Five Guys still use peanut oil, Buffalo Wild Wings uses beef tallow, all of them charge a premium over their nearest competition, and all of them are known for somewhat better fries than the competition.

Whenever I fry pork belly, the leftover pork grease goes to making fries, and it's as good as or better than any restaurant fries I've ever had.

For someone who hasn't made fries at home. Explain like I'm five, please.

I'm not a great cook, but it's not a difficult dish. Wash and slice some potatoes. Heat a pot or pan of oil until it's hot. I'm not exactly sure how hot, probably around 150-175C. (It should be hot enough that if you drop one fry in, the fry should immediately bubble and float. But if the oil smokes, that's too hot. I've never actually measured the temperature, but you get a feel for it if you do it a couple times.) Drop your fries in the oil. The oil doesn't necessarily have to cover the top of the fries, but you need to stir so that everything gets cooked evenly. Cook about 4-ish minutes, or until it's your desired level of crispiness. The time will depend on the temperature of the oil and the thickness of your potatoes. Then take the fries out and let the oil drain off of them. Add toppings to taste.

You get a choice of the oil you use. You can't use olive oil because the smoke point is too low for good frying, but I like grapeseed oil because it has a neutral flavor. My above suggestion is to use the grease which is leftover from cooking pork. I also sometimes mix grapeseed oil and pork grease if I don't have enough grease, but it tastes better the higher the proportion of grease in the mix.