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PaperclipPerfector  1d ago (text post)   679 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for August 20, 2025

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Hello Motte Friends!

A while ago I posted about a plan to get a girlfriend. Life threw up a lot of curveballs, so I ended up holding on the plan to push online dating. I didn't completely slack though. Here's the stuff I said I'd do, versus what actually happened.

  • Lifting: Have been doing Stronglifts 5x5 mostly consistently since my last post. My friend is my gym buddy, and we keep each other consistent. I squatted 210lbs this week. I've always been skinny (currently 5'11 155lbs), so even these beginner gains are making me look better. It feels nice to be more physically capable.
  • More fashionable clothes: Got those and a better haircut. I'm getting compliments on my appearance.
  • Skincare: Couldn't stick with it. Seemed to improve my complexion the day of, but not over the medium term. A friend suggested new products, I'll make another attempt with those soon.
  • Professional photos: Didn't happen, temporary money troubles
  • Contacts: Didn't happen, money troubles
  • Read Models: @crntwx suggested this. I read about a third of the book so far, have been trying to change my thought process and self perception in line with it's suggestions. It's a real crusade 😂, real "draw the rest of the owl", but worth doing.
  • Sleep: Honestly pretty bad in terms of hours and schedule, probably the number one thing hurting my charisma.
  • General habits: Spending WAAAY too much time on the internet doomscrolling, number two drag on my charm.

Advice Request:

  • I get a big improvement in mental state after lifting, but it's after work 3 times a week. I used to improve my mental state by running, but my legs can't handle that and squats at the same time. What could I do on off days/daily?

How do you feel about your personality, currently? Do you make friends easily, or have many satisfying relationships with other people?

I'm not implying that you lack those things, I'm just curious about your self-perception of them.

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A motte is a stone keep on a raised earthwork common in early medieval fortifications. More pertinently, it's an element in a rhetorical move called a "Motte-and-Bailey", originally identified by philosopher Nicholas Shackel. It describes the tendency in discourse for people to move from a controversial but high value claim to a defensible but less exciting one upon any resistance to the former. He likens this to the medieval fortification, where a desirable land (the bailey) is abandoned when in danger for the more easily defended motte. In Shackel's words, "The Motte represents the defensible but undesired propositions to which one retreats when hard pressed."

On The Motte, always attempt to remain inside your defensible territory, even if you are not being pressed.


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