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PaperclipPerfector  1d ago (text post)   837 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for October 24, 2025

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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I believe I have mentioned, at some point, an uncle of mine who is far more accomplished as a psychiatrist. For more context, I didn't even know I had a psychiatrist relative in the UK (there's nothing new under the sun) and he suspects it's because my parents didn't want me to be influenced and turn away from the noble profession of gynecological surgery. Jokes on them, it happened anyway.

Very nice guy, but he's getting on in years and is still single. He was a ladykiller in his 20s and 30s, but after a messy divorce from a BPD ex (he's just like me fr fr), he never settled down due to enjoying the bachelor life.

This won't do. I, a humble guest in his palatial house, have already had both of his parents attempt to enlist me in their crusade to have him marry and produce bouncable babies before they depart this mortal coil. I'd say that's none of my business, but he seems to genuinely regret not settling down earlier and is attempting to make amends.

Well, and here's the pickle. He's roped me into attending a single's event at some exclusive London club. He told me they put stickers on phone cameras and keep naked women in cages downstairs plus bona fide BDSM nuns of uncertain denomination(this is not a joke). The whole place isn't quite Eyes Wide Shut, I believe there is a perfectly normal dance floor, albeit with expensive drinks. We have both agreed that the judicious thing to do is to pre-game with copious amounts of liquor before making our presence felt, as we need liquid courage to talk to strange women in loud places. Also, we're cheapskates.

And our presence will be felt. He's not a fan of understated fashion, some of his suits are so loud that they attract noise complaints. He's kindly lent me one that is reasonable tasteful, on the grounds that my perfectly nice bomber jacket won't stand out.

So uh.. Advice? Suggestions? I've ticked off the "drink till I'm uninhibited enough to dance" option. I am mostly dedicating myself to being a good wingman, because I could do with attending a wedding at some point and because it will much easier to lean on him for job recommendations if I'm responsible for his newfound happy matrimony.

It is worth noting that he is also rather successfully convincing me to attend a speed dating event the next day. It's a heartening sign that all the ladies' tickets are sold out, even if the demographics are slightly older than me. But I have never been one to turn down a lady in distress due to something as paltry as an age gap. Any advice for that occasion? I'm mostly going out of sheer curiosity, I don't live in London, and I'm not likely to anytime soon. But it might be fun!

seems to genuinely regret not settling down earlier

attempting to make amends.

keep naked women in cages downstairs plus bona fide BDSM nuns of uncertain denomination(this is not a joke). The whole place isn't quite Eyes Wide Shut

I feel like one of these things is not precisely like the others. Perhaps I simply don't understand British culture.

I only lived in the UK for 2 years versus decades of life in the US and there's obvious confounders with my sampling but my experience was that Brits are way sluttier.

Which is funny because they don't come off as particularly passionate or sexy. More like .. unabashedly horny?

In my youth I was once fortunate enough to be sent to a summer camp with an international clientele, where I encountered a saying held to be true by many other students: "American girls look like they do, but they don't. British girls look like they don't, but they do."

Amazing

In all fairness, neither do I. I would have expected a pig and/or a Prime Minister too.

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