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PaperclipPerfector  6d ago (text post)   912 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for December 10, 2025

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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My father just got out of a biopsy. It looks like his cancer might be back. They're keeping him for observation overnight, and I'm heading down in the morning if he's physically up for a visit.

I feel adrift. Throughout my life, my father has been one of the only points of stability that I have ever had, and I think he's dying. Every success that I have ever experienced is because I listened to his advice. Even when our relationship has been beset by physical distance, I've always felt that I could rely on him in a way that no one else in my family could offer.

What do you do with a pain so enormous that you can't even feel the edges of it? How can you be there for someone when you don't know what to do?

I am very sorry to hear of your troubles. I suggest that you:

  • Take things one moment at a time. Do what you can do in the moment, without considering the big picture, and do not dwell on what you can't do.
  • Be there for him physically. If you get on, then the emotional side will take care of itself.
  • Focus on the things that it will comfort you to have done for him when you are looking back.

My best wishes for you and your family.

I appreciate it, Internet stranger.

I know writing here is just screaming into the void in some ways, but sometimes you need to do that to even know what you're feeling.

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