This weekly roundup thread is intended for all culture war posts. 'Culture war' is vaguely defined, but it basically means controversial issues that fall along set tribal lines. Arguments over culture war issues generate a lot of heat and little light, and few deeply entrenched people ever change their minds. This thread is for voicing opinions and analyzing the state of the discussion while trying to optimize for light over heat.
Optimistically, we think that engaging with people you disagree with is worth your time, and so is being nice! Pessimistically, there are many dynamics that can lead discussions on Culture War topics to become unproductive. There's a human tendency to divide along tribal lines, praising your ingroup and vilifying your outgroup - and if you think you find it easy to criticize your ingroup, then it may be that your outgroup is not who you think it is. Extremists with opposing positions can feed off each other, highlighting each other's worst points to justify their own angry rhetoric, which becomes in turn a new example of bad behavior for the other side to highlight.
We would like to avoid these negative dynamics. Accordingly, we ask that you do not use this thread for waging the Culture War. Examples of waging the Culture War:
-
Shaming.
-
Attempting to 'build consensus' or enforce ideological conformity.
-
Making sweeping generalizations to vilify a group you dislike.
-
Recruiting for a cause.
-
Posting links that could be summarized as 'Boo outgroup!' Basically, if your content is 'Can you believe what Those People did this week?' then you should either refrain from posting, or do some very patient work to contextualize and/or steel-man the relevant viewpoint.
In general, you should argue to understand, not to win. This thread is not territory to be claimed by one group or another; indeed, the aim is to have many different viewpoints represented here. Thus, we also ask that you follow some guidelines:
-
Speak plainly. Avoid sarcasm and mockery. When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.
-
Be as precise and charitable as you can. Don't paraphrase unflatteringly.
-
Don't imply that someone said something they did not say, even if you think it follows from what they said.
-
Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.
On an ad hoc basis, the mods will try to compile a list of the best posts/comments from the previous week, posted in Quality Contribution threads and archived at /r/TheThread. You may nominate a comment for this list by clicking on 'report' at the bottom of the post and typing 'Actually a quality contribution' as the report reason.

Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Culture War Artifact Analysis: Holiday Edition - The Family Stone
There is very little to discuss about this extremely boring movie. Diane Keaton simply Diane Keatons for a long time.
It is primarily a fable about the importance of hospitality. A pack of mannerless hicks torments their guest during an important religious holiday. They make her feel like an imposition, they treat her property disrespectfully, her partner refuses to engage in the most basic of social assistance. In retribution, the gods strike down Diane Keaton.
Blue Tribe America, especially in their youth, identify with the family. This is why their revolutions will always fail. SJP, for all her faults, is clearly portrayed as absolutely innocent. Anyone who watches this movie and feels anything but satisfaction when those jackals cry is your enemy.
Happy Holidays!
Same. I started off trying to dislike SJP, because horseface and annoying, but the relentless cruelty of the family towards her got to me, and in the end I wished Claire Danes would die of cancer too.
"because horseface and annoying"
Even I, a 40 year old divorced man who sincerely misses in-office work because I did have age gap inappropriate sexual relationships with interns and that's harder to do now, thought the movie was too obvious in its direct contrasts of the sisters. Until SJP switches to clothes the family approves of at the end, we see her in less and less flattering light and makeup as the film progresses. She is made visibly uglier right around the time 2005 Claire Danes shows up. Watch how those two are visually depicted and you'll start to see that radical feminists were not making everything up.
Claire Danes is the fantasy character of the creative class men who finance and create films. Young, eye meltingly hot, and her brain can instantly be turned off by uttering a few words about deep artistic yearning. She will stand in the dark with you and describe her satisfaction seeing a totem pole erected, filling a hole in the soul of the man who thrust it into the air, penetrating the heavens. A massive, solid, powerful totemic symbol of...something. A mystery for the ages.
The SJP character makes no sense but the actual version of that woman would not be so stupid to not realize that men who talk like Dylan McDermott in that scene are indeed possessed with an overwhelming need to fill a hole but it ain't the one he's talking about.
(It's her mouth and/or genitals. In case it wasn't plain. He wants to fuck her.)
What a wild thing to just drop. Were they at least hot interns?
I didn't mention it for prurient interest. It seemed like a relevant personal detail to substantiate my argument.
But are you asking if I slept with people I didn't think were attractive? Fair if so - who hasn't? - but this was not one of those times, no.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
I’m not watching that again (if I’m rewatching any family christmas movies where the matriarch has cancer this year, it’s going to be A Christmas Tale (2008)), but what’s the radfem angle? That men prefer pretty women? That they want to fuck them? If the two sisters were equally plain or equally lighted, would the cause of feminism have been advanced?
From the synopsis of the movie, I would hate it whether the main family is left- or right-coded. I don't like romcoms, and I don't like ones where the women have to be shoved into the appropriate box of the appropriate relationship (the ending is all that everyone is neatly partnered up with the 'right' partners now).
The family does sound very unpleasant, and I think the best ending would have been that SJP's character dumps her spineless fiancée, has nothing to do with his creepy brother, and finds someone compatible with her in New York. Let her brainless sister stay behind to be passed around like a token between the Stone brothers (and hey, Dad's a widower now, maybe he'd like a hot young live-in lover!)
More options
Context Copy link
The radfem angle is the generalized radical feminist / woke / po-mo / identitarian media criticism.
Visual language in a film is not accidental. These are professional story tellers using specific techniques to evoke specific feelings and thoughts in the viewer. Even if you want to argue that the choices are subconscious all you're saying is that the visual language is a tangible representation of ingrained misogyny. A patriarchal society will, whether it wants to or not, represent its values in its cultural works.
What does the visual language in The Family Stone convey? SJP's character is shown as bony, angular. The lighting gets harsher and the makeup more naturalistic throughout the film. The film is telling you that this woman is unlikeable. You are supposed to viscerally hate her. To do this she is depicted as old.
Claire Danes gets nicer light. More loving shots. She's warm and inviting. SJP is a hag that insists on accommodations for her needs. Claire Danes intuitively wants the same thing as the Man. She is obviously and unmistakably younger and more beautiful visually.
Combine this with the narrative itself. We do get some nicer shots of SJP at the end: when she's wearing the clothes of and is enmeshed with the family. She obviously can't get the Man - she will need to make do with the stoner, rapist brother - but she at least gets some visual dignity. Provided she strips away everything that made her who she was and adopt the visual signifiers and behaviors of the family.
The message that these professional artists wanted to transmit to the future? Old women are irritating and lose their value as they age. You are right to dislike them.
Ok, that’s pretty much what I suggested. I don’t think there’s value in that. Older women are just less attractive. It may be sad, but there’s nothing to be done. It is a peculiarly sad feeling when you see a woman who used to be hot and capable of inspiring great passion in most men, instant fantasies of love even, relegated to invisibility. Somehow, I feel less for the originally plain, even though they probably have it much worse. There’s nothing to be done for them, either.
I don’t consider that misogyny, or some preference implanted into us by films like this one. They tried these last years to make fat, old, and ugly, the new beautiful. I don’t think that campaign has been a rousing success. It was a futile battle against reality.
Value in what sense? Calling attention to the fact? I agree with you - and though I am not a radical feminist I will presume to mansplain on their behalf - and the radfems agree with you too that it is a fact. Their core point isn't that the film is implanting the misogyny. Sure, it does reify it. Cultural artifacts are meant to be transmitted outward and downward. Their point is that you are right: these things are inherent facts about the world and men's sexuality. The filmmakers used those cues because they work and they work because that actually is how men feel and you agree with that because that actually is how you feel and I agree too because that actually is how I feel. I do dislike SJP because of her horseface in that movie. I'm just so offended by the family's dickishness and familiar enough with scene composition to still see what's going on.
Radfems are saying "uh oh" when you say "oh well". That's an understandable reaction when you actually are the prey.
Andrea Dworkin (1946–2005)
This is pushing it to the extreme. But - as an average man I agree that there is an element of what they're describing inherent to male sexuality which is present in varying degrees in individuals. When you look at the world as it exists through this lens, you tend to find evidence that the distribution is not skewed towards the lower end. Yes yes; keys and street lamps, if ye look ye shall find. The fact that you agree with them on the underlying facts and there is such abundant evidence, however, is strong Bayesian evidence that you should update towards their positions. That doesn't mean you have to accept their conclusions or framing. But they do seem to have a point at a factual level.
lol I don't understand what you're talking about - or why (you're a man who fucks interns ffs - this is a jews for hitler situation. Do you realize these broads want you castrated? Don't sleep in.).
I should give radfems credit for recognizing something obvious? That the common man, along with most of the right, discusses openly?
So you think radfems are educating women about the biological preferences of men? Because presumably women know life only from romance novels about princesses and horses. Maybe that's how a radfem is born: she steps out of rainbowland for the first time.
I don't think desire is sex is rape. Like at all. Radfems sound like crazy people to me.
A man who fucks, wants to fuck, or would fuck interns under a pretty broad range of circumstances can be shortened to "man". Are you a man? If so, do you seriously deny the impulse?
I'm sure plenty of broads want me castrated. Plenty of [redacted] would be thrilled to [redacted]. I live in a diverse city. Yes, the tacos are good but the real benefit is knowing for sure that I'm never far from people who would, if they but knew me and could get away with it, kill me. 1 dedicated weirdo has a 99%+ chance of taking me out. 2+ and we're at quantum fluctuation levels of likelihood that I'll be able to stop them. It bothers me not at all to know that admitting to - horror of horrors - being by default attracted to a 23 year old over a 45 year old. Doesn't say anything about any given 23/45 pair and it doesn't mean I can't find a lot to appreciate about older women. But not by pretending that reality isn't what it is.
Anyway, I know what I did and what I didn't do. My entire department was also broad strokes aware as was HR - as they worked in it, I was not able to keep anything from them even if I'd wanted. Nobody's decision making skills are 100% when drinking their way through a prolonged divorce and I can defend everything without endorsing or being proud of it. It sure as shit wasn't seemly, no. That was the point. It was an inappropriate but nowhere near illegal age gap. Sometimes people want inappropriate things. God himself can cast me in a lake of fire if he really wants and I'll go pissing and screaming - but I can't say I'll agree with his decision.
(Edit: this background awareness of the violent possibilities of your neighbors / community must be how Jewish people feel. Their hypersensitivity is an obvious trauma reaction and isn't something that could be stopped if they wanted to - and I'm not sure why they should want to, all things considered.)
Yes. They are acknowledging that there are deep, unbridgeable divides between the sexes. That men and women are fundamentally not the same. This is not a convenient fact and not everyone is willing to come out and say it. See: "sports, trans".
I think lots of things have been done that can be described as broadly radfem and some of them include educating other women about men, yes. We are not born with an innate understanding of every fact in this world. The opposite. There are many, many facts that people would do well to internalize before experience forces the issue. Regrettably, the more important lessons are often the ones most difficult to act on. You should eat better and exercise more. Me too.
By default, women are not going to understand men's sexuality. Men and women are different, remember? Because they are, by default, also attracted to men they will find it very difficult to internalize some of these facts. The dissonance causes some women to go all the way to the extreme: think of your stereotypical literal man castrating radical feminist. They're all the way at 100. I'm not saying or implying that their maximal claims are true. I'm saying that you don't need to start sanding away the extremes until you come to simple, true facts.
Take your example: "desire is sex is rape". I'm sure there are some people who would accurately be described as radical feminists who do or at some point have believed the most extreme version of this statement. There are quotes. They've said it, I take them at their word. And that's much too far. You're correct that it's plainly false.
But I know the statistics that go around These Spaces. Men are more violent. Period. We can debate the causes all we want but this is a fact. For whatever reason, men on average are significantly more violent than women. If you don't believe statistics, trust the human body. Look at its structure. Squeeze the glands. Would you say that the male of that species is more predisposed to violence?
I would. I don't understand how it could be otherwise considering our evolutionary history. But if you need personal testimony - behold, I am an average man, and there are dozens of nights I can remember where a little extra alcohol at the wrong time or one too many bad memories in sequence and I might have expressed myself through violence. That doesn't count the nights I don't remember.
(I don't feel bad about this - my tone should not be read as confessional. I'm the fleshy appendage at the end of a very long line of decisions I did not make. I had zero input into most of the most significant decisions that shaped the broad contours of my likely development. Not all of them turned out great - it never does. Too bad, so sad.)
The question at the core of "desire is sex is rape" is: do you really think that deeper than bone deep difference in violent tendencies stops at the dick? It does not. Men's sexuality, like women's sexuality, entails danger. From men that danger often manifests as violence and it is inextricably bound through human biology / psychology to the reproduction process. How could it be otherwise? You don't need to agree with everything they're saying to agree with the bits that are, in fact, true.
More options
Context Copy link
A radfem is simply a woman about whom traditionalist thought is right: being objectively inferior, and sex (and other related physical attributes) being the literal only thing of value they possess.
Everything they do is a reaction to this (and yes, the non-TE RFs are betraying the revolution, but note that what they do is primarily designed to attack and marginalize
the manlier womenthe women about whom traditionalism happens to be wrong).This is why seduction has to be rape- because for them, while they aren't smart enough to prevent being snookered out of the literal only valuable thing about them, they are at least smart enough to know that.
This is why they're obsessed with one thing, and one thing only: exerting as much control over how their only source of worth can be accessed and used. It's literally all they have, and everything they say and do is downstream of this- if they can get themselves embedded in the State's welfare system, then they're going to do that; if they can declare all sex rape by default, they're going to do that; if they can make themselves powerful enough that they'll never be forced to perform a biological function to get a meal, they're going to do that; if they can get away with making this observation unsayable, they'll do that.
I'm not willing to engage in the pretense they don't know what they're doing any more than I am in the pretense that a man might not know he shouldn't beat his wife. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that Haidt's Six Foundation people only have the morals they do partially because it allows them to still see themselves as moral while rent-seeking like this (you should value me more because purity/authority/your ingroup).
This operation of exerting control is also done by men when "ability to labor" is the only value they possess; that's why if you replace "workers" in union/socialist rhetoric with "women", you get radfem rhetoric.
Every wo/man simply acts in their own best interest. I'm not interested in blaming them for that (which is in traditionalist interests to do- it makes women easier to control if they can be convinced to wholly deny their interests); but those interests better be paying rent to be acceptable (which is in feminist interests to not do- it makes men easier to control if they can be convinced to wholly deny their interests).
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link