Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.
- 208
- 1
What is this place?
This website is a place for people who want to move past shady thinking and test their ideas in a
court of people who don't all share the same biases. Our goal is to
optimize for light, not heat; this is a group effort, and all commentators are asked to do their part.
The weekly Culture War threads host the most
controversial topics and are the most visible aspect of The Motte. However, many other topics are
appropriate here. We encourage people to post anything related to science, politics, or philosophy;
if in doubt, post!
Check out The Vault for an archive of old quality posts.
You are encouraged to crosspost these elsewhere.
Why are you called The Motte?
A motte is a stone keep on a raised earthwork common in early medieval fortifications. More pertinently,
it's an element in a rhetorical move called a "Motte-and-Bailey",
originally identified by
philosopher Nicholas Shackel. It describes the tendency in discourse for people to move from a controversial
but high value claim to a defensible but less exciting one upon any resistance to the former. He likens
this to the medieval fortification, where a desirable land (the bailey) is abandoned when in danger for
the more easily defended motte. In Shackel's words, "The Motte represents the defensible but undesired
propositions to which one retreats when hard pressed."
On The Motte, always attempt to remain inside your defensible territory, even if you are not being pressed.
New post guidelines
If you're posting something that isn't related to the culture war, we encourage you to post a thread for it.
A submission statement is highly appreciated, but isn't necessary for text posts or links to largely-text posts
such as blogs or news articles; if we're unsure of the value of your post, we might remove it until you add a
submission statement. A submission statement is required for non-text sources (videos, podcasts, images).
Culture war posts go in the culture war thread; all links must either include a submission statement or
significant commentary. Bare links without those will be removed.
If in doubt, please post it!
Rules
- Courtesy
- Content
- Engagement
- When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.
- Proactively provide evidence in proportion to how partisan and inflammatory your claim might be.
- Accept temporary bans as a time-out, and don't attempt to rejoin the conversation until it's lifted.
- Don't attempt to build consensus or enforce ideological conformity.
- Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.
- The Wildcard Rule
- The Metarule

Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
I finally told her I love her. I probably could have said it weeks ago, but I’ve spent the last few years developing a very healthy respect for the kind of wreckage that happens when you deploy those words at the wrong time. When you’ve spent enough time losing, you start to treat your internal state like a high-stakes game where you’re terrified of overplaying your hand.
She actually beat me to the punch. We had been existing in a state of high-density clinginess for a while, just being generally ridiculous to each other, and she decided to try a stealth maneuver. She ended a conversation with "goodnight love," clearly hoping I’d just let it slide past without making a scene. But I’m tall; very little goes over my head (physical or metaphorical) without me noticing.
It feels good. It feels considerably better than I’m usually willing to admit things can feel.
I still had to give her a hard time about the timing, though. 1:30 in the morning after a grueling day is not exactly the cinematic peak I had envisioned. I had a whole plan involving chocolates and flowers and the kind of deliberate romantic effort that makes for a better story. Instead, I got a sneak attack at my most exhausted.
In the meantime, we’ve started "soft-launching" the relationship to our respective families. This feels like a significant escalation of the stakes. I’m really hoping this works out; my heart has taken enough hits lately that it probably deserves a vacation, or at least a very gentle training montage. Maybe this is just what it looks like when you finally put the muscle to work.
Wait which girl is this? Not the model hopefully?
It is very much not the model! I'm in love, not concussed haha.
You might have missed this recent update:
https://www.themotte.org/post/3416/wellness-wednesday-for-december-17-2025/392615?context=8#context
All I want for Christmas is Her
Ok lovely, and congrats. Love can take you all the way my friend. God bless you both. :)
Thank you!
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link