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Notes -
Lots of discussion in the last few weeks on the dating recession, and I wanted to add another (anecdotal) data point to the pile.
I've been swing dancing here in Baltimore on and off for about the last three years (started in 2024 after my girlfriend broke up with me). Initially classes and actual dancing were heavily female dominated, often at ratios of 5:4 or even 3:2. This year that has completely changed: my class tonight was short 11 follows in a class of ~30 total people, meaning the ratio of men to women is about 2:1. The instructors managed to get some more advanced people to drop in to help out as follows, but half of them were dudes who wanted to learn the follow part. This was roughly true in the last session of the class as well although not as pronounced.
What I hypothesize that has happened is the message that dating apps don't seem to work has trickled down to the male part of the population. Around the same amount of women are taking this class as in the before times (2024), but the number of men has almost doubled. Men are starting out to try and meet people in real life again! Which is awesome. But for whatever reason, this hasn't happened with women.
I'm not entirely sure why this is, because dating apps don't seem to particularly work for women either. Maybe the illusion of abundance is enough to keep them from thinking that they need to meet people in real life? Maybe they're all in a situationship with the same man (lol)? Maybe women just have stronger social connections in general and don't need to do something like dancing to meet people?
Thoughts TheMotte?
I counter your n=1 anecdata with my n=1 anecdata; I got dragged to dance classes by my girlfriend and our class is (remains? I don’t actually have eyewitness evidence as to the gender ratio pre-2025) heavily female skewed, roughly 3:2 women:men.
Unfortunately(?) it’s not the sort of skew that tests my fidelity; I would rank the quality of IRL women on offer somewhat lower than I would have ranked those on offer on the apps. And with the significant added problem that the apps were designed to solve: namely that IRL, you don’t know if they’re going to be receptive to solicitation, whereas online, you do.
Perhaps, but at any offline event the attendees are physically present and unmediated by anything other than the immediate social standards. You're not limited to one introduction a day, or waiting around for a six word reply that never comes, or seeing only what they looked like five years ago in their best photos, and so on. And while there might be thirty other people at the class there isn't a thousand other people (a number of whom aren't even real) vying for attention as they rotate past on an endless carousel.
Besides that a lot of people can enjoy music and dancing for their own sake. Dating apps not so much. Figuring out a tactful way of assessing whether someone is single seems like a small trade off.
You’d think so, but no, it’s an insurmountable, socially paralysing cliff face for anyone vaguely neurotic (my past self included), especially those who have been involuntarily stewed long enough in the social messaging milieu of “Expressing unwanted romantic interest to a woman is Basically Rape”. But if she’s on an app, then she’s Asking For It so can’t really call you a creeper for cold approaching, can she?
Most people (both here and in wider society) seem to condemn dating apps in The Current Year; I still think they’re fucking great, because - while they certainly have many problems - they also solve many problems.
To be fair, dating apps haven’t gotten me a respectable wife in my half decade of using them, so they have technically failed the assignment. But dating apps have gotten a lot of Zoomer girls into my bed, which is certainly worth partial credit when 6 years ago I was staring down the barrel of incel-dom.
Yeah, using dating apps to find chicks, sending rideshares via apps to deliver them to your place, and ordering alcohol through app-delivery for the dates, is *chef’s kiss* when it comes to effort efficiency in Current Year. Booze and broads straight to your door.
Born too late to explore the earth, born too early to explore space, but born just in time to lay pipe without having to leave my place or take girls anywhere to monkeydance for them.
Partial credit? More like enough extra credit to offset the original failed assignment with bonus points leftover to spare. woody_harrelson_wiping_tears_with_Aplus_report_card.gif
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