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PaperclipPerfector  2d ago (text post)   1815 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for March 22, 2026

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

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There was a motte post that was memorable to me, and I keep trying to find it so I can quote it exactly and reference it. I can’t remember if it was on this site or the subreddit. But it was a discussion of dating or bullying of some kind, and ended with the commenter saying, “most of the women I’ve been friends with or dated were outcasts from the ruthless social competition of high school girls, and they bore the scars of that experience.” I thought it was an interesting point.

Does anyone have any clue who posted this or what the original comment was?

I don't have a link to the original comment, but its triggered another question I've long thought about. Do children who win playing these ruthless social games (bullying/mean girls) actively have parents coaching them to do so? The incentives would seem to be there, lined up with ancillary evidence like the existence of 'Tiger Moms' and the like (beauty pagents & cheerleading etc).

Looking back on my own life, some of the bullies likely came from bad home backgrounds, but others seem remarkably well provided for (clothes, status symbols, preparedness for extra-curricular activities etc).

Curious what other people think about this.

My sister was and still is one of those types; I'm very much not. Nothing in my parents seems like it would have encouraged such behavior in my sister.

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