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PaperclipPerfector  3d ago (text post)   17127 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of April 6, 2026

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Weren't most of those rumours probably true? Theodora really was a prostitute, Nero and Caligula's shenanigans probably actually happened, Elegabalus actually was something faggy and weird.

Eh, Theodora was an actress, which was synonymous with "prostitute" back then, but:

For she had an especially quick and biting wit, and soon became a star feature of the show. There was no shame at all in her, and no one ever saw her embarrassed. She would provide shameful services without the slightest hesitation and was of such a sort that if someone slapped her or even punched her full in the face she would crack a joke about it and then burst out laughing.

This is from Procopius, who hated Justinian and Theodora. Does that not seem just a wee bit over the top?

It strikes me as much like Pliny's story of Messalina (Claudius's wife) having a fucking contest with the city's prostitutes (which she won, naturally).

The Romans definitely got up to some shit, but the hit jobs written by their political enemies should be taken with the same grain of salt as stories about Trump's pee tapes and Melania being introduced to him by Epstein.

She would provide shameful services without the slightest hesitation and was of such a sort that if someone slapped her or even punched her full in the face she would crack a joke about it and then burst out laughing.

Given this, is it any surprise then that she became the wife of a man who came up through the legions?

20th century US Marines marrying stripper who has a sense of humor. 4th century Roman Legionaries marrying the actress who can take a punch. You know The Office meme.

That is my favorite scene from I Claudius

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