The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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I'm pleased to say that I do feel a little bit better with my exam out of the way. Only moderate depression instead of moderately severe depression! A directional improvement!
Now, I still finish work with only the desire to crawl into bed to keep me going, but I'm noticeably better at hiding my feelings. I've noticed a threshold effect, after a certain point I simply do not give a fuck anymore, and I'm back below whatever line that implies. Everything hurts, quite literally. I don't have the time or energy to engage in a hobby more involved than arguing with people online. But I forced myself to make plans for the weekend, and I intend to see them through.
Perhaps I shouldn't be grabbing a pint (or two) after work with such a degree of regularity, but it's fucking Scotland we're talking about. I've been here long enough to understand Glaswegian accents. Most of the time.
Less sighing, a diminished but non-zero appetite. Sleep that is within the range of normality for overworked resident doctors. Cracking jokes at work (most of them funny, only a minority at my own expense). Life as a doctor is easier when you lightly flirt with the nurses, while not quite looking like a cat dragged me into the ward. The NHS rewards good cheer, or ersatz-impressions of it. If you look and act sad and miserable, you'll find that people treat you worse for it. How queer.
I've mentioned, in the past, that I think one of the interns likes me. I suspect that my suspicion is well-founded. Why? Through independent confirmation.
For context: I work in a female-dominated workplace. Apparently men just don't want to be doctors anymore. No objections while it works in my favor. I was engaged in menial busywork at my desk while two of the lady doctors were chatting away. I wasn't paying attention, until one of them turned towards me and said "oh, [x] your girl is doing [something I genuinely can't remember]". She had a smirk on her face, while my other colleague giggled. NHS HR polices are what they are, so I replied with a "no comment". That is literally what I said, expression as neutral as buffered water. This only made them titter harder. I understand women just well enough to be extremely perplexed by them. I have a lot on my plate, and workplace romance would be a complication, to say the least. She's probably too smart and competent for me anyway.
Good feedback from my clinical supervisor too. Genuinely nice guy, though I don't understand how he manages to make it to the gym religiously, before work, be a good father to his tween son, all while working as hard as he does. Some people are just built different. If he thinks I'm doing a decent job, I believe him. He strikes me as the kind of person who would be very clear and open if I dun-goofed.
I caught my seniors from a different department in psychiatry doing something quite bone-headed with regards to a patient I'm not even particularly responsible for. If I was more depressed, I would have just given up, but I managed to find the energy and righteous indignation to lay out my concerns in front of other, more senior doctors, with citations and clinical arguments in hand. I didn't get it all my way (though I think I was in the right), but I did make a difference. Good to know that all of that exam cramming taught me something of actual value.
I even managed to make it to a teaching session and actively engage in learning, instead of phoning it in. It's a good day when a very renowned professor sends "good question!" and similar compliments my way. It's even better when I manage to out-nerd half the senior clinicians, and actually answer some of the hardball stuff when he looked at me expectantly. I am absolutely the teacher's pet - my ability to look deeply engaged and nod along has been finely honed since childhood. You need it if you've got ADHD and may or may not have stopped paying attention several minutes ago. Fake it till you make it.
I'll take it. I'll take it all. This isn't euthymia, but it's the next best thing after the actual next best thing.
I know you've been through this with everyone and their dog but has meditation helped at all with the depression? I find it can, sometimes. Though when I get depressive it tends to be more out of anxiety from overwhelming responsibilities in the face of a world where the infrastructure for living up to those is broken. In other words it's often a matter of resetting my perspective and sort of... I think of it as remembering that even though the water is up to my chin and the waves hit me in the face a lot, I can still just touch the ground with my tiptoes, and that I'm grateful to have such a challenge and reason to keep trying to rise to it. Sometimes meditation gets me there.
My priest says that if a Christian husband doesn't often feel like he's dying (or, to extend the metaphor, drowning) he's probably doing it wrong.
I have not had a positive experience with meditation, but I've got nothing against it. I'm happy recommending it (weakly) for the average person. After all, we've stolen aspects like mindfulness and inducted it into validated and reasonably effective forms of therapy. CBT, DBT, they all have a little bit of Eastern meditation in them for taste.
Meditation is a non-starter for me because of my ADHD. It doesn't particularly appeal to me in general, but I'm not saying that it's inappropriate for other people with ADHD. I prefer relying on medication for my mental health issues (and I know that they work for me). Speaking about ADHD in particular? The drugs do more than any form of therapy/meditation can do. That claim has all the evidence it needs in favor, including in RCT form.
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