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Girl-dads perpetually see their daughters as 6yo princesses. They don't want them going to prom, they don't like them dating boys. Yes they want grandchild, but ideally through virgin birth. I suspect it makes you subconsciously feel like you spent all your life being her numero uno man just for some guy to stick his dick inside her. And I'm not convinced this can be "socially engineered" away.
I have girls but they are still young. I know fathers of girls who are older. His daughters asked what he wanted for Father’s Day. He asked them to come to church once a month. His reasoning, in part, was that it would be much better to meet a culturally compatible eligible bachelor at church compared to online dating.
So count one datapoint as inconsistent with your claim.
I don’t see it as inconsistent. While I can’t read the mind of your acquaintance, I can see the logic in general.
A father may feel the existential dread of the Daughter Question (*hits pipe*) and not want his beautiful little girl to get railed. However, under the current legal and cultural milieu he has no real way to thot-patrol her and prevent her from having her FUN and FREEDOM, so the alternative is accept strategic defeat.
He can’t stop her from getting taken to Poundtown, but perhaps he can at least stochastically nudge her toward choosing tourguides (or hopefully just one tourguide) with a baseline level of adequate SES and values.
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I would say it is consistent, he has an "acceptable" standard for what kind of man is allowed to touch his daughter, and how. It's irrational and emotionally conflicting, but that's human emotion I suppose. But would he be thrilled if his girls were clubbing and rotating one night stands, even if he wasn't religious?
To me, it reads as emotionally stable. You want a good life for your daughter and part of that is her marrying a good man. In return, you get grandkids.
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I think your thesis is really overstating this, or is extrapolating from a group that is not normal. ‘Wanting your daughter to have sex in the context of healthy relationships with men you approve of’ is not maximally permissive or sex positive but it’s very far from thinking she’s 6yo and that you’ll be cucked if she ever has sex. It’s a parody of fatherly psychology.
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Obligatory:
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I just don’t relate to this at all. Admittedly I don’t have daughters, but I’ve watched all my cousins getting married and everyone loves the husbands and thinks it’s great to have a new smart, capable chap in the family.
If anything the wives and girlfriends have had a much worse reception, though I think this is because the girls in my family have mostly made good marriages and the guys have mostly made fairly dubious marriages, rather than reflecting any meaningful gender element.
Women marry up, men marry down. I thought this was the usual way of things?
Yes, but I don't mean men marrying down in the sense that "she's pretty and sweet but lower class and thick as mince". I mean that my female cousins (who tbh are pretty and vivacious but with exceptions not up to much) married smart, handsome, capable men that everyone loves having round. Our general attitude to them is, "Go to it, my son, hope she's treating you right".
By contrast my male cousins are conventionally successful but married/dated girls with fairly dubious personalities who nobody likes - one is a self-absorbed compulsive-organiser who doesn't like my cousin spending time with us and acts like everyone around her is a gaggle of Sunday school children who have to be constantly shepherded in case they wander off. The other was indifferent bordering on hostile, rude, and so absorbed in a vocation that she had no time for my cousin and saw him a few times a week while getting him to effectively sub her angel-of-mercy-but-no-pay job.
I suspect this state of affairs arose at least partly because my aunts are very no-nonsense and probably told their daughters exactly what they what they ought to look for and how to get it, whereas I can't imagine my uncles ever having that conversation with their sons (and my own parents have been pretty useless on the topic as well).
The cuck framing just doesn't make sense at all to me, culturally. If anything, we reared and then sacrificed my female cousins in order to bring fun, useful men into the family in the traditional manner. (I jest of course, my cousins are fine and happy.)
That is in line with girl-dad mindset though. Yes, he would eventually come around to a good natured son-in-law with shared values, while wanting to smack the dude who (consensually) pump-and-dumped her.
This is very true, no one tells you what to expect from a girlfriend/wife nor equip you with workable strategies to get it in western style dating context, even if your own parents met that way. And this is despite the fact that men are always expected to make the first move. You have to figure out the entire thing on your own, starting from puberty. My outsider understanding of your family dynamics is that your male cousins settled, and they don't know how (and lack the rizz) to shoot for better.
Right, but I wouldn’t want somebody to pump and dump my cousins, and it’s not because I harbour creepy incestuous love for them. It’s because it’s not nice. And I would have broadly the same sentiment towards my male cousins.
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