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Friday Fun Thread for July 17, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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I got my bum pinched, visiting a gay bar on the day of the Pride Parade in Glasgow. It was more bemusing than offensive. TBH, I'm not offended at all, I went to one of most famous/notorious gay bars, and I was well groomed and wearing pointy shoes. Dunno what the women are complaining about.

It's only a matter of time until you write your coming out as bi post.

If by "time" you mean the Heath Death of the universe. I'm painfully straight, as in I'm straight and it causes me pain.

Says the guy hanging out in a gay bar for Pride who enjoyed the attention of having his backside pinched. Suuuuure you are as straight as a ruler 😁

Now ma'am, let's review the evidence like good Bayesians. I spend most of my drinking hours at a gay pub. My friends here skew overwhelmingly LGBTQ: my closest friend in the area is an asexual lesbian (a contradiction in terms, though she reports only 90% confidence, down from 99%, so the market is moving, and I might be to praise/blame for rehabilitating men). The regulars assumed I was in a relationship with a bisexual man. I was not. I just tolerate him because he's a good guy who looked after me during a bad stretch, which I gather is what relationships are, but never mind.

Further data: my younger brother came out to me as gay. At least five independent observers have seen photos of a distant shrink uncle and rendered the verdict "this dude is so gay it hurts." I wear nice Chelsea boots, and spent my first months in this city genuinely puzzled as to why obviously gay men kept complimenting them. I may have written an ethnographic analysis in a gay pub.

Any reasonable model, fed these inputs, converges on one conclusion. And yet:

I was also offered, variously, two blowjobs, a rimjob, and a golden shower. I declined with gratitude. It is good to be desired. It is also good to have boundaries.

I have been propositioned dozens of times, across various states of sobriety, by men. The answer remains no. I appreciate the interest, truly. But I love women, an affliction exactly as inconvenient as it sounds, and one for which medical science has no treatment. My sole consolation is that they like me back.

Says the guy hanging out in a gay bar for Pride

(I was in Glasgow to see a woman. She was busy, so I killed time at... gay bars.)

asexual lesbian (a contradiction in terms,

As a boy I had 3 or 4 crushes before I ever had anything like a sexual urge, and yet they were all crushes on girls. "Asexual heteroromantic" would have been a good descriptor. I presume asexual homoromantic people exist too, in great numbers before puberty albeit smaller numbers after.