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Notes -
More of vent/advise post rather than a small question.
Background: I run a board game meetup, formally around the social deduction game Blood on the Clocktower (Think very involved werewolf/mafia but with a DM). Some of the regulars have become addicted to the game and spun off a separate discord to play more often, which is fine, because I joinws it and play I just don't want to have to run the game every weekend which is the occurrence they seem to want to play at.
The Problem: Somehow a minor infiltrated our group. The main group is public and meets a local game hall so its whatever, but this person seemingly got invited to the separate discord full of all the addicts. We just played at someone's house last night. This minor is now 18, an autistic woman. The average age of this group is early 30s, quantitatively 32. We do have some mid 20s and occasionally some folks in their 23-24 range show up and several folks in their 40s that come play but 18 is extremely young. Consequently (thankfully) everyone is very uncomfortable with this development.
Extra Tea: She needed a ride to our event last night, she doesn't really advertise her age, so a male member of the group picked her up because it was on his way and he's a helpful person. He immediately regretted offering to help when he saw her. People where discretely playing hot potato with who was going to drive her home. Her parents apparently don't care that she is attempting to hang out with a bunch of 30 year olds. They seem to be living out of a hotel for some reason (likely poverty), but it's unclear if this is a recent thing or not. She's very clearly autistic with a severely awkward demeanor and lacking the ability to at all process anything not spoken directly to her in the environment.
The Question: Is there any advice on how to boot this person from the group. Obviously it's going to happen but the question is how to handle it in such a way as to not scar this already likely friendless young adult. I currently lean on just ripping the band aid off, but technically since this is an offshoot group I am pushing towards making the moronic discord head who added her do it as penance for being a fucking retard and adding her in the first place.
If she can shoot My Third Gandband Orgy (anal edition) legally, she can totally hang out with you if she feels comfortable. If she was 50 years old cougar will you kick her out? It is still 20 years age gap.
This is not tea. This is progressive Kool Aid. If someone hits on her too hard - tell him to cool it off. If she hits on someone - ah whatever - envy and pity the poor bastard.
Would you envy a person stepping on rakes in the rake factory. Shockingly, mentally unstable young women are a proverbial landmine in progressive social milieus. Vulnerable victims whose voice yet rings the loudest, judging all and held to no epistemic standards of evidence. A repudiation it seems from the good conservative milieu where young women are seen, not heard. We ever move in cycles, rejecting that which scarred our generation in its formative years
I can attest: (short version) a spergy self-identified-autistic 30something woman once flirted with me, we kissed several times with no objection from her, then she accepted a ride home from me, whereon I gave her a final kiss and hug before leaving. The next day she was "very upset" with me, being "So Tired of Straight Guys Assuming I'm not Asexual". A year later this had become Sexual Assault.
Now change her age to 18, talk about nightmare fuel as now there are thinly veiled pedo accusations and insinuations that you manipulated this fragile young mind with your degenerate cis-normative white heterosexuality.
Mentally unstable women with no outside social experience are prone to misinterpreting things. I have no desire to include landmines within a group of nerdy autistic adults.
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As I said envy and pity.
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Conservative venues may not have the same paranoia and fingerpointing, but this is not because young women are seen and not heard(they aren’t)- it’s because casual sex is frowned upon.
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