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PaperclipPerfector  1d ago (text post)   1231 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for August 7, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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  1. Everyone crying in this story is a woman. Which is unsurprising, because the overwhelming majority of doctors under 35 in this ward are women, and because I have conspicuously used "she" as a pronoun to describe them. Only time I've ever cried in this ward, in the loo, is from sheer relief, when I heard I passed an important exam despite giving it at a time my brain was riddled with holes from acute stress, a depressive relapse, and regular migraines. I did very well, which was only somewhat surprising.
  2. My boss did not just have "mean words", he implied I was lazy and hadn't gotten important assessments done prior to a performance review due in a week or so. I hadn't gotten them done, but only because the whole ward was catching fire from the strain. I had asked my seniors to make the time to assess me half a dozen times, and they simply couldn't do it. He was unwilling to accept this, but he had been on his own vacation, and hadn't even had the opportunity to talk to said colleagues of his to confirm this. He said exactly as much, which was honest, but he spends 90% of his time away from the ward and does not have a clue as to what's going on at the ground level.
  3. A requirement of being a doctor in the NHS, at pretty much every level, is canvassing formal written feedback from a diverse sample of coworkers on a regular basis. Junior, senior, anything in between. The nurses, non-medical staff, anyone who has interacted with me is also fair game. And no, why the fuck would I stand over their shoulder? I handed them the forms, went away, and collected them later en-masse. The only pressure involved was simply confirming, later, that they'd finished it. They then, voluntarily, told me what they'd put in writing. I do not have any meaningful leverage over people who are quite literally on their last day at work here. I have minimal leverage on the seniors who did theirs too. The only reason I got glowing feedback is because my colleagues are very fond of me. They've seen me work hard, including at periods where I've been popping painkillers like candy so I don't get laid out with severe pain. They've seen me make time and regularly stay back late just to reassure patients and their family. They've also seen me being more supportive than you can imagine, when the new baby doctors come in and start shaking in their scrubs.
  4. My boss had asked me to get these assessments done, as well as several others. He was not wrong in doing this, because I am required to do them for career progression. They are read by higher-ups in the training program as well as himself. He had been annoyed that I hadn't gotten them done earlier, and had not believed it when I said this hadn't been for a lack of trying.
  5. I get along well with my boss, most of the time. I have no interest in making his life harder for the sake of it, but he gets paid extra to be my named supervisor and this comes with additional workload. I've been inundating him with this stuff because he's asked for it, and also because it completely undermines any concerns he's raised about me. He's a good guy, but he can be clueless, and this time he was. He has also not done several important things I've repeatedly asked him to do, and which he is obliged to do. People are complicated.

But that’s all besides the point I’m trying to make. Is it normal for Scottish/British men to weep at work or get emotionally flustered when they’re having a bad day? Is it normal for them to passive aggressively confront their bosses about it? Is it normal for them to stir the pot with the other staff?

None of the above buddy, and in part because none of that happened. If you have the time to write all of that, you have the time to do more than skim. You just have no idea what the workload can be like, this isn't a profession you opt for in the hopes of excellent work-life balance, and this particular department is on the hellish end of the spectrum.

I work for a consulting company you would have heard of. Im no stranger to demanding hours. And I’ve had people management responsibilities for over 10 years.

Based on that experience, I suspect we’re only hearing one side of the story. I’ve had easy people on my team and I’ve also had difficult ones. The difficult ones are always genuinely shocked when they get a bad review. It’s amazing, almost universally they think they are doing a supremely good job and they think they work extremely hard. And sometimes they are right - in a very narrow slice of their responsibilities. But they are often well below expectations in most other areas.

All of this is to say that this pattern matches with a problematic employee. Maybe you’re great with patients. But if your institution is anything like mine, being good at the technical piece of work is only one part of the job. Agitating with the staff, using excuses, and making demands like that will often get a person tagged with being more trouble than they are worth. And all the positive performance review documents in the system will only delay the inevitable.

I’m just trying to give you some perspective and help you course correct. Sometimes you need to hear the truth and I’m guessing the other women in your group are not giving it to you.

Well, you tried. It's hard to rescue a young man from his own arrogance, when he's first feeling the flowering of his agency and ability.

He'll either get humbled in a few more years and give what you said a second thought, or turn into one of those monsters in management who's "never wrong" and lashes out at people, destroying the institution from within.

Shit, we got on the topic of UK institutions in terminal decay once again!

Well, you tried. It's hard to rescue a young man from his own arrogance, when he's first feeling the flowering of his agency and ability.

This is a great point worth highlighting. I too went through this sophomore syndrome early on in my career. It’s natural for talented people. But if one doesn’t break out of it, they will crash out and find an early ceiling in their trajectory.

He'll either get humbled in a few more years and give what you said a second thought, or turn into one of those monsters in management who's "never wrong" and lashes out at people, destroying the institution from within.

I admire the confidence with which you present these as the only possible outcomes. I hope I do end up with that much epistemic humility.

No epistemic humility required. Those are literally the only two outcomes physically possible. You think you can never be humbled? You ever meet a person who refuses to ever have been humbled their entire life?

You're a clinician, what does a person who always thinks they are the greatest, and is always correct about everything, and reacts aggressively when their ego is challenged sound like?

You're a clinician, what does a person who always thinks they are the greatest, and is always correct about everything, and reacts aggressively when their ego is challenged sound like?

I know perfectly well what that person is. The problem is that I resent your implication that that's a fair description of me. You don't have to go digging very far to find examples of me admitting that I'm wrong about something, really. Here, I'll make it super easy for myself and kill two birds with one stone:

@Brainwavez @sarker

The recent shakeup at Google, with the departure of Jeff Dean, puts them out of the running as a frontier lab. I'm not saying they don't have a hope at all, I'm saying that regaining the lead is going to be even more of an uphill struggle. In other words, I was wrong.

Now, back to you, Coil:

Have you stopped beating your wife? Yes or no answers only, please. I'm too old for these games.

I would if she stopped deserving it.

/sarcasm

If adherence to the requisite format was beyond your abilities, I'm sure there would have been room for an apology. I have just learned not to expect very much.

Oh no, I'm not living up to expectations a jannie on a board for turbo autist has of me.

Better go beat my wife some more in frustration.

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Hahahaha. I can't even be particularly mad, this loops right around into hilarious. When I worry I'm too self-aware for my own good, I can do with a reminder of what its absence looks like.

Aight buddy. I'm sure you've got a proper Big Boy job. I know a handful of Big 4 "consultants". Probably pays the bills well, doesn't it?

I do wonder just how common it would be for an error you've made while under stress to lead to someone dying. Do you have any idea what doctors do? Been to a hospital since you were (presumably) birthed in one?

My man, last time you skimmed this story you got the sex of every crying person in it wrong, then built a thesis about British civilizational decline on top of your own lacking literacy. Now you've skimmed again and built a theory of my employment. I'm starting to see what passes for your workflow: read 30% of the text, hallucinate the blanks, invoice for the full engagement. I wish I could get away with that, I seem to have to work for the money.

In other words: knock it off.

I am sure you have perspective to share. I sample plenty, and I've heard more informed opinions from the floridly psychotic.

Based on that experience, I suspect we’re only hearing one side of the story.

It's a first-person anecdote on a forum; of course you are. I presume Deloitte or PWC pays you for such cutting edge insight.

The difference is that my side comes with documents, and yours comes with hot takes about a profession you've never worked in a country you probably don't live in.

With all due respect (guess how much), the last man who guessed at my workplace from his armchair was you, one comment ago, and every checkable claim you made was wrong.

Let me see if bullet points help:

  • I had repeatedly tried to obtain the assessments.
  • The ward had been severely overloaded.
  • My supervisor had been away and had not spoken to the people working alongside me.
  • He cited supposed clinical errors without specifics.
  • The one specific error he did cite was demonstrably committed by somebody else.
  • He told me to obtain broader formal feedback.
  • I did exactly that.
  • The feedback, including from people outside my immediate peer group, has so far been uniformly good.
  • He then actively facilitated me obtaining still more of it.

This is a strange way to “agitate with staff.” Apparently I have been so disruptive that nurses, pharmacists, ward administrators, junior doctors and senior doctors keep volunteering to say nice things about me when formally asked, and have said it before, without asking, and my boss's response to my campaign of terror has been to tell his colleagues to make time to assess me.

Perhaps the inevitable reckoning is merely taking the scenic route.

And to spell it out, my male peers, which includes the senior reg, and most of the consultants? They like me too.

The facts, as you understand and present them, are useful, however, they are also incomplete. I have two things for you to consider on the off chance you want to be helped and are just trying to save face here.

  1. Management doesn’t like people that are annoying, demanding, and go around to the other staff badmouthing the bosses. Management also likes and expects to have the final word on things. It’s very annoying when people are explicitly or implicitly telling their boss all the great things they’re doing and ignoring all of the not so great things. It’s transparent and often invites backlash. A stack of good performance reviews are great, but if you’re annoying, it’s not going to get you very far.

  2. You’ve represented yourself and 100% aggrieved and flawless. I haven’t seen any acknowledgment of behavior problems or challenges. You seem to think you’re well above your peer group because “everyone likes me and thinks I’m great. I know this is true because they told me so”. The fact is that unless you have a major problem with someone, you’re pretty much always going to validate a person and say they’re amazing when you are confronted for informal feedback. Particularly when a person is a loose cannon and potentially going to go off the rails at the slightest criticism. For formal feedback, well, I wouldn’t just take someone at their word about what they wrote without verifying it myself. It’s possible they’re being selective in what they tell you.

I find this all so interesting. It’s a great little encapsulation of the modern work environment, institutional decay, and personality issues. Your situation aside, it’s going to be interesting to see how things develop now that hospitals are run by a bunch of women in a sewing circle (in spirit, even if half those women are men). We’re very far removed from the stoic old man doctor with a cigarette or pipe. Maybe things will be fine?

I understand that your day job involves coming into a situation where you had no original stake, or direct involvement, and then assuming an advisory position despite a clearly superficial understanding of the facts of the matter. I ask that you keep it there, I'm not paying you.

On a factual basis: no, I haven't presented myself as perfectly flawless on any day of my life, even I'm convincing women to let me sleep with them. Good grief. I, like a real human being, have made actual errors. And like a responsible trainee doctor, I've disclosed that to my boss. They're not material here, because the one specific issue he raised wasn't my fault.

Have you ever considered the possibility, in theory, that someone might actually be liked and good at their job? Or is that an entirely foreign prospect for you?

Beyond that? I hope your advice finds someone who needs it. If you want the fuller picture, I can ask my boss to sign up on themotte.org. I'm sure he has the time. God knows where I find it.

I can't speak to the object-level here, but I'll caution for anyone on the state side of seeing-like-a-state that this is also the sort of diagnostic that shows up when the measure is wildly off-target.

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