The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
New Year's resolution check-in:
How goes it @self_made_human, @thejdizzler, @birb_cromble, @ThomasdelVasto and @falling-star?
I was so stressed out I could barely get out of bed over the weekend. But I manned the fuck up and went to work, and ended up using my own judgment, arranging urgent scans and discovering an acute and extremely concerning pathology in a patient my seniors, including my supervisor, had been blase about. That is it's own reward, but it helps that I also was congratulated on this and also got assessments done. I also had my supervisor (the one I had a difficult meeting with) explicitly say I'd been doing a good job, and that he'd heard and seen excellent things about me. Go figure.
I have given up on the NHS, and am pursuing private psychiatry in earnest instead of just contemplating it while emailing around. That involves coughing up a significant amount of money for a re-assessment of my longstanding ADHD, but it's better than the alternative, and I'm getting what I half suspect is a collegial discount.
As I tell everyone, insight is necessary but not sufficient. I try to supplement this extremely novel observation with getting shit done and improving. I dare say I succeed.
I very rarely ever have them but when I know I’m having a bad day relative to the self-judgment of my own performance or where I think I should be, if a manager or someone else comes around (which has happened before) and tells me to keep up the great work, my immediate thought is to say to myself “man, everyone else must be really working like dogshit if they think I’m doing all that great…”
Awhile ago we put up this whiteboard at the entrance of our department where everyday the managers write individual names with stats next to them and slogans like “doing a great job,” etc. It’s become a joke among some of us that the whole department has found itself on that board, the laziest people get the biggest shoutouts, the hardest working people never get mentioned and are always taken for granted, it’s become more of a monument to how out of touch management is with activity on the ground. It does nothing for people except to make a mockery of things behind the scenes. If they really wanted to motivate them, that whiteboard would turn into a wall of shame; and it would have a lot of names take.
I presume you missed the drama from last week. I particularly care about what my boss says for multiple reasons:
That's why his praise matters, and why his criticism stings. He'd been concerned about my performance earlier, while operating off what he personally acknowledged as outdated information. Instead of developing a martyr complex about it, I decided to go above and beyond, and I had the good fortune of being able to demonstrate it live.
He's the kind of guy who cares far more about action and results rather than getting into group cuddle and commiserate sessions. I spoke his language and, as I hoped for, he reacted very positively. We might not always see eye to eye, but I can have a productive professional relationship with him, and that's more important.
Make sure he knows you appreciate him. Good manager’s are hard to come by. I recently stepped up to support a manager that I could tell was drowning in work.
I have told him that, and I could tell he appreciated it.
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