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More debates revolving around young single men in the mainstream media. Particularly, who the young women are dating due to them being disproportionately in a relationship. The article provides some insight, stating that many are dating older men and each other. This has led to a more intresting conversation of if older men are increasingly monopolizing women. Leaving younger guys out to dry supposedly, however a good chunk (acutally half, according to study from pew research). The data gives two large reasons, mainly: Having other shit to do & just like being single. What i always found frustrating with the mainstream progressive view of this matter is that they seem hell bent on blaming Men for this problem. Greg Matos, who wrote this (in)famous article which pretty much embodies the progressive view on the matter, has stated: “Women don’t need to be in long-term relationships. They don’t need to be married. They’d rather go to brunch with friends than have a horrible date,”. The argument from the mainstream being in a nutshell: that these single men are misogynistic, shitty bums and deserve to die alone. That take leads to some rather intresting conclusions however, when looking at the data. From the first pew research link and another one. The people who are most likely to be single are men who are: Black, young, only highschool educated, low income, and living with mom and pops. Are we suppose to assume, blacks, the youth, poor men, men without degrees, and guys without their own place are inferior romantic partners, and or more misogynisitic than their rich, old, white, college educated, apartment renting counter-parts?
Could it not simply be that these mens moral characters are fine, but they simply lack the resources and experience many women desire? Is such a thing their fault? Is the black man to become white? Or the poor man rich (or at least reasonably middle class)? Could there not be barriers preventing them from achieving such feats? In most cases, progressives would be open to outside forces interfering with ones ability to succeed. The matter is being treated as if all of this is entirely within their control, and their failures are a simple matter of poor character. The issue appears far more complex is you ask me.
Perhaps a bit of a divergent, but the entire dilemma has led me to a larger question of how much of life success (in dating, in work, in school) amounts to hard work. There was a post about on star slate codex sub reddit about how good IQ was at predicting life success. There is a bunch data about how expensive being poor is, poverty traps, and how difficult escaping it can be. Disputes over gender wage gaps. Not to mention all the discussions being had about how race impacts such outcomes. Id be interested if there was some huge of huge meta study done on what percentage of these factors (IQ, class, race, gender, ect) all impact your chances at life success, if anyone had such information on hand. Though my intuition tells me that such a study would be insanely difficult to do, if it even exists.
I’ll just throw my hat into the ring here and say I’m surprised that more sex-starved white guys aren’t looking overseas for partners, especially to East/Southeast Asia. Quite beyond sexual reasons (Asian women tend to be considered highly attractive by westerners as judged by eg response rate on dating sites) and cultural reasons (Asian cultures tend to be more family-oriented, with loyalty especially being highly prized), there’s simple market dynamics — a white guy in Vietnam or the Philippines or even Hong Kong has massively inflated Sexual Market Value.
Of course, the way to approach this is NOT to go via some skeezy online site, but rather to spend time in relevant country. If a single white dude saves up his money and vacation days, he can spend 6 weeks in the Philippines or Vietnam having a fun time, and if he does his research first, he can go to places where he’ll meet smart accomplished trendy young women rather than just bargirls, especially if he’s spent a few months acquiring rudiments of the relevant language. This can easily lead to relationships and marriage, and I know several “success stories” like this. Ideally, though, a single white guy would simply move out to the relevant region for a while — maybe a year — and conduct the matchmaking under a more relaxed timescale. The best life stage for this would be a gap year or similar, or just a career break. English language teaching is an obvious pathway here, but there are usually industry-specific routes too.
Finally, if you can’t bring yourself to leave your home country, you could just try spending more time in relevant foreign-origin communities. Take lessons in Malay or Vietnamese or Tagalog or Mandarin, get to know your local Asian restaurants and cafes, go to cultural events, etc.. Obviously, though, don’t be a creep about it — you’re going to these places to be in an environment where you’re hoping romantic interactions are more likely to occur spontaneously, rather than specifically going there to hit on women.
I’m not saying that white guys should give up on white women — some of my best friends are white women, and I’ve had lots of rewarding romantic relationships with them — but I do think Western gender relations are in a really toxic and fucked up place right now, and I’m surprised more men aren’t looking for more genteel and constructive alternatives.
This would 100% work and probably lead to a happy relationship. I am a decent looking white guy. Realistically maybe a 6 or 7. In Asia it is not uncommon for me to get unsolicited complements about my appearance. This has literally never happened to me in the U.S. from anyone who wasn't a granny. And the looks I got from girls on the street... It was almost uncomfortable.
For white guys, you can probably add 2 or 3 points to your 10 scale appearance rating. Then factor in that the average woman is also 2 or 3 points higher than in the United States. It doesn't seem unreasonable to be dating 9's.
I know appearance isn't everything but it gets you in the door. And the cards are massively stacked in your favor as a white guy in Asia.
Okay, that said, this isn't going to work and here's why. For someone to do this, it would require the man to be both a) fairly desperate and b) quite good at planning and achievement. I think the subset here is small. Probably the only group I can see fitting the bill are otherwise perfect guys who happen to be short.
How much of this is just the relatively tiny rate of obesity? I have always felt Asian girls tend to have a higher median but smaller standard deviation in terms of attractiveness. Even here in the West I'll tend to date majority Asian girls, but it's more due to the fact that they're less likely to hit a hard disqualifying factor for a first date than due to an actual preference.
I'm trying to hard filter for single mothers, obesity, complete lack of career/life-seriousness and overly alt tattoos/piercings/whatnot. Those criteria knock out like 3-4% of Asian girls and like what feels like a majority of white women on the apps. Which I think also contributes to a lot of the 'Asian women are most favorable on dating apps' studies since I feel like a lot of men are going to be swiping similar to me (albeit probably not as hard on 3 & 4 but just as hard on 1 & 2) and Asian girls who are fundamentally ineligible tend to be a lot rarer.
A large part of it. But Asian women are more feminine generally (smaller frames, more neotenic features, etc...) And after age 30, the hotness gap becomes a chasm because of reduced appearance of aging, lack of hideous tattoos, and less abuse of alcohol.
I agree that the differences are much larger at the 50th percentile than at the 90th percentile.
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Hmm, I could see another version, which is a guy who slacked/screwed around in his youth and early twenties, maybe fit the stoner stereotype, stayed relatively poor and unkempt, but is otherwise naturally attractive (tall), intelligent, and good impulse control (i.e. no criminality).
And gets into his late twenties and decides to go on an earnest course of self-improvement and gets his shit together. And as he's finally building his life up it makes more sense for him to try to snag a loyal foreign-born wife than to wait to build up enough wealth to compete for Western womens' attention.
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