The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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I have, unfortunately, been in bonny Albion over several winters. I can't say it's ever helped things. You should be aware I've been here long enough to know that.
More importantly, I have been depressed during the summer. Most summers. Most places, including India.
This isn't a simple seasonal shift. If mere exposure to sunlight sufficed, I wouldn't have been depressed at home. It coincides with... well, a lot of things. Overcoming serious adversity and taking control of my life being an important one. I managed to achieve that while rather badly depressed - which was most of this summer. I presume it showed.
I don't see much sun even on a good day at work, at the height of the summer. I'm lucky if I can nip out for half an hour during a lunch break, or catch photons on the walk to and from work.
You don't need SAD to be sad. At least I don't.
I think the summer in Britain is much better than the summer in India, though. It might actually be the best summer in the whole world, in my opinion. I actually thought you’d only moved a year ago, but time is passing so quickly now, well…
I’m a very happy for your newfound happiness. I am skeptical your depression was ever as serious as you feared, but as someone who was there and who also randomly, arbitrarily overcame it for no real reason (I think I have probably written about it before) I understand. Still, winter is the real test.
It's not continental enough, in my opinion. Yes, you should want to get far enough from the equator to maximize summer daylight, but you should also want warm sunny weather. This year was an outlier, but I would take Tatarstan over Britain otherwise.
I think the continent gets too hot, mostly, especially as you go inland, even quite far north. Summer in Vienna or Moscow is awful, an avalanche of heat. Tatarstan is much better on that subject, at least.
Kazan is generally slightly hotter than Moscow in summer; summer in Moscow is miserable when there's not enough sun. I greatly prefer English spring and autumn, though.
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Well that's on you for staying in big cities.
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I administered myself the relevant instruments for assessing depression. I had a handful of episodes of passive suicidal ideation. I have my own notes from the worst patches, missives to a future self who was hopefully better off. That's me, today, but it's rather grim reading.
It was exactly as serious as I feared. It really couldn't have been much worse without a complete and utter breakdown. Sure, I've been clinically depressed to some degree for >95% of the last ten years, but it's usually mild to moderate. Having thoughts about walking into traffic after something as silly as a bad date and a few drinks was... new. May it stay old.
Rather annoyingly, now that my "urgent" appointment with a shrink is coming up, I've gotten better. You can't treat depression that doesn't exist anymore, but you can put yourself on their radar and ensure that you get somewhat more timely care next time.
(The wait is... concerningly close to how long it takes to spontaneously recover from a typical depressive episode without treatment. I'd call that intentional if that wasn't giving the NHS too much credit. The service is just overburdened and under staffed, I say as someone shouldering the burden. The irony of it isn't lost on me at all.)
I'd say that my depression getting better wasn't mysterious at all. It started due to immense stress. It got better as I adjusted to the workload, and the real turning point was my slightly hardass boss telling me he was happy with my performance. I could feel the muscles unknotting, as I realized that putting in 120% effort had paid off, and even better, I would be able to sustain things at mere 80% throttle for the rest of the placement.
As I intend to tell a more qualified and better paid shrink: clearly stress reactive, or vulnerable to psychosocial stressors.
Will this relief last? I don't know. Odds are against it, probably, given my history. But it clearly had a massive component of "shit life syndrome" and I managed to make my life markedly less shit.
Anyway. Sorry you had to go through your own issues, and happy that you're better. I found it very helpful to remind myself, at the nadir, that things would get better if I toughed it out. They did. I agree that winters are awful. That is why I usually flee to warmer climes. I'll get a SAD lamp anyway, if I remember to. Or join the local lassies at a tanning booth, if I ever lose all dignity.
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