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PaperclipPerfector  2d ago (text post)   762 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for September 2, 2026

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Does anyone have experience with short-term use of psychotropic medications (SSRI's, Benzos, etc.)? I have experienced an absurd amount of situational stress and grief over the past few weeks - long story, very tragic - and am looking for a little chemical help to make it more bearable. However, I don't want to be on them for very long and I know that coming off meds can be difficult once you start. Anyone have personal background? And yes, I'm trying to make lifestyle changes but any advice there would help as well. Appreciate it.

Try to get through this phase without chemicals, if at all possible.

The SSRIs are basically not better than placebos and come with sometimes dangerous side effects like suicidality (and no, this is not from 'increased energy').

A benzo will work to take the edge off, but it's basically like drinking a shot of alcohol. They're very habit forming and addictive. And so is alcohol, obviously.

Now might be a very auspicious time to take up a serious meditation practice. Try an hour a day for a while, if you can carve out the time. It works. You don't have to laser focus on the breath or anything. You can 'do nothing' and just let feelings and mental constructs come and go. You can also conjure up feelings of loving-kindness and caring for yourself and others. This is called metta. It may be useful to you in this situation.

SSRIs are better than placebo, though the Number Needed To Treat (vs placebo) is an unimpressive sounding 5-7. Well, at least they're not as bad as statins.

This is me being a mild pedant, rather than disagreeing with you. They're not the best choice for him, as I've said down thread. They're still a better idea than... benzos and booze.

In all honesty, @ratherblather, the best thing for you would be to go on vacation. Or simply just get away from it all for a bit. I know, that probably sounds less than appealing, but I think it'll do a little good anyway.

I have meditated in the past and I agree, it's helpful. Thanks for the suggestion.

Don't.

It's very likely to make things worse.

I've seen people go down that exact road to permanent addlement or an early grave.

I went on an SSRI in college when I was very suicidal. I probably would have killed myself without it so I am grateful that I was put on it, but I stayed on it for too long. I finally told my doctor I wanted off them when I was feeling much better about things, probably after being on them for 5 years or so. She halved my dose and then I just quit them without consulting her (I wouldn't advise others do it that way but I just wanted the agency to choose for myself.) I am generally wary of weirdo psychological drugs but if you are going to kill yourself or are a danger to yourself in some way I do think they can help. I had a few weird side effects going on them and similar weird side effects coming off them, and felt some brain fog while on them which is mostly why I wanted to stop, but I don't think the side effects were really bad and I didn't have enough trouble coming off them that I even remember what it was like.

Weed? If it’s legal where you are.

Weed triggers ridiculous anxiety for me and a lot of other people I know anecdotally, absolutely would not recommend starting for stress or grief relief imo

It would take at least 2 weeks for SSRIs to typically show effect. 5-6 if you want to really know if they're working.

Benzos? Aww man, there are very few problems that are worth starting benzos to handle. A short course is unlikely to be addictive, but if you end up addicted? You'll regret it. If you're using them expressly to relax or numb the pain, that drastically increases the risk of becoming reliant on them in the long run.

There are less legal options (presuming you even find someone willing to prescribe the above for you, at least for sounds like a grief reaction or bereavement). I'm not going to endorse them.

Raw-dogging things is probably net positive in expectation. I understand if that doesn't prove feasible. Good luck, and I hope you get through this.

2 weeks

Isn't this for the depression score improvements?

I've taken Sertraline recently for my own 'reasons' and the frequently described 'emotional blunting' was a welcome relief in a matter of days.

Emotional blunting is common enough, but can take a variable amount of time to show up, typically a week or two. I would not rely on SSRIs to induce it, most people never experience that "issue".

Alcohol is usually the go-to for this kind of thing, I think. Beer is easiest to maintain a functional but mood-elevated state, cocktails work the quickest, or wine to stimulate an appetite.

Lol, thanks. As a part of the aforementioned "lifestyle changes" I'm cutting out alcohol for the time being, actually. I would normally agree!

And plan to replace it with benzos?

I'm not going to follow through with that - it was an idea, is all.

SSRIs are intended for long-term use vs. depression, not short-term use vs. sadness-inducing events. They don't even start working until a month has passed (authoritative article, personal experience).

An interesting observation: colors are literally brighter when you're not depressed. I can't stress enough the fact that this is not a metaphor. They're more saturated, and every now and then, I stop to look at the porcelain sky or a particular nice shop sign. I've even admired traffic lights. I think I'm as euthymic as I've ever been, and stress levels are, well, non-zero, but at a local minimum.

I have mixed feelings about the fact that I recently, over dinner, found out that most of my junior colleagues are older than me. An artifact of Scotland encouraging graduate entry medicine. I suppose that's a reminder that even after several years grinding exams to get here, I'm making excellent time.

And then a med student with grey hair and a look of deep despondence said he was surprised to learn that he was a few months older than me. He said he'd thought I was in my early thirties. I shrugged, and said that was one way to find out I looked decrepit. I asked him how he felt about likely becoming a consultant in his 40s, which, to be fair, isn't that late by British standards. He said he was trying not to think about. Poor guy had applied for medicine multiple times; he'd done well enough on the exams, but failed the personality screens/interviews. He was bad at even faking the extroversion. A real shame, I explained that medicine strongly selected for the Type A-s, but the rest of us could make it anyway. I told him the important thing was that he was here now.

And then I explained that I felt that grey hair or a bit of the Norwood was an asset for male doctors. Engenders confidence. Implies we know what we're doing. This is perhaps a mild amount of cope, but I retain all my hair anyway. That comes as a surprise given what I've been through.

And a little while earlier, my boss had implied that he pegged my age around 21. That would explain quite a bit about his attitude towards me. I wish that were true.

Then there was the time I snuck into a clinical skills session meant for fresh interns. I hadn't done an ABG in four years, and I have a slightly irrational fear that it'll be expected of me. Even though I work in a specialty where we literally don't keep the equipment around. It's early days, and everyone is getting to know each other at that hospital. I was asked by someone how I felt about starting my internship. I said that I was rather glad it was long over, and that I had no business being here, but they weren't checking the guest list closely. They were amused, and asked me if I was trying to blend in. I looked down at the rather different shade of lanyard, and my dress shirt and nice shoes amidst a sea of scrubs, and said that I wasn't doing very well. At least I got the ABG done first try.

Sticking to the theme: a youthful intern was rizzing up the med students. One of the ladies was Australian, and thus subject to cross-cultural discourse about Kangaroo Jack and Crocodile Dundee. Look man, it's that or Drop Bears. The intern said that these were childhood artifacts from "our generation" - and the young lady couldn't be expected to know about them - while gesturing at me. At me. As the reference generation.

I couldn't let this stand. Every now and then he says something that makes me me want to crawl into a coffin, call me an anti-pedophile the way I'm out of touch with the youth. Nice kid, nonetheless. He'll eventually live down the jokes from one of the blood cultures he'd taken off a patient coming back positive for Lactobacillus salivarius - a commensal/symbiotic organism that, as the name strongly implies, is supposed to stay in the saliva. Getting to show off in front of the med students is just about the only perk of the intern years. Well behind me, but at least I can admire public infrastructure instead. It's been a green light for the first time in years.

"our generation"

I coached my first after-school MathCounts session of the year today. One of the kids grabbed a sparkling water from my bag of juices and sodas. The other kids ragged on him: "What are you, thirty-five?", because of course that's like the Pinnacle Of Old to them. I'm about half a generation past that now...

with grey hair

This is my only reprieve; my hair may have thinned to the point where I have to buy spray-type sunscreen or get sunburned through it, but there's so little grey that whatever's there is still managing to hide itself among the dirty-blonde.

Tangentially related, but once on my EMT-B rotations at 21, I had a Chinese guy assume that I was a fucking resident, because I was a man wearing scrubs on the L&D floor, who was clearly too young to be an attending. I was not a mature looking 21 year old. I didn't stop getting carded until like 30. A few weeks earlier on an ER rotation an elderly black lady had asked how young they were starting us these days, because she couldn't believe I was working in a hospital when I looked like a high school freshman.

Anyway, the nurses had a great laugh about that and I believe the poor intern? was given shit about it for several weeks.

Also I was wearing big stompy boots with my borrowed scrubs, and he apparently just didn't notice those.

I resist the siren call of scrubs. Comfy? Yes. Practical? Yes to the yes, given the exposure to bodily fluids. But that only makes wearing white dress shirts to work even more of a standout.

I heard a senior female consultant commiserating with the junior girls about how she still gets mistaken for a nurse all the time. I told them that I get mistaken for a doctor most days of the week, and I've stopped correcting people.

Then again, I haven't been carded since I was sixteen.

Dude It’s Summer (in the British Isles). Come back in December when it gets dark at 2.30 and you haven’t seen the sun in six weeks and talk to us about the color of happiness. This is like when you’re happy on vacation.

I have, unfortunately, been in bonny Albion over several winters. I can't say it's ever helped things. You should be aware I've been here long enough to know that.

More importantly, I have been depressed during the summer. Most summers. Most places, including India.

This isn't a simple seasonal shift. If mere exposure to sunlight sufficed, I wouldn't have been depressed at home. It coincides with... well, a lot of things. Overcoming serious adversity and taking control of my life being an important one. I managed to achieve that while rather badly depressed - which was most of this summer. I presume it showed.

I don't see much sun even on a good day at work, at the height of the summer. I'm lucky if I can nip out for half an hour during a lunch break, or catch photons on the walk to and from work.

You don't need SAD to be sad. At least I don't.

I think the summer in Britain is much better than the summer in India, though. It might actually be the best summer in the whole world, in my opinion. I actually thought you’d only moved a year ago, but time is passing so quickly now, well…

I’m a very happy for your newfound happiness. I am skeptical your depression was ever as serious as you feared, but as someone who was there and who also randomly, arbitrarily overcame it for no real reason (I think I have probably written about it before) I understand. Still, winter is the real test.

I think the summer in Britain is much better than the summer in India, though. It might actually be the best summer in the whole world, in my opinion.

It's not continental enough, in my opinion. Yes, you should want to get far enough from the equator to maximize summer daylight, but you should also want warm sunny weather. This year was an outlier, but I would take Tatarstan over Britain otherwise.

I think the continent gets too hot, mostly, especially as you go inland, even quite far north. Summer in Vienna or Moscow is awful, an avalanche of heat. Tatarstan is much better on that subject, at least.

Kazan is generally slightly hotter than Moscow in summer; summer in Moscow is miserable when there's not enough sun. I greatly prefer English spring and autumn, though.

Summer in Vienna or Moscow is awful

Well that's on you for staying in big cities.

I administered myself the relevant instruments for assessing depression. I had a handful of episodes of passive suicidal ideation. I have my own notes from the worst patches, missives to a future self who was hopefully better off. That's me, today, but it's rather grim reading.

It was exactly as serious as I feared. It really couldn't have been much worse without a complete and utter breakdown. Sure, I've been clinically depressed to some degree for >95% of the last ten years, but it's usually mild to moderate. Having thoughts about walking into traffic after something as silly as a bad date and a few drinks was... new. May it stay old.

Rather annoyingly, now that my "urgent" appointment with a shrink is coming up, I've gotten better. You can't treat depression that doesn't exist anymore, but you can put yourself on their radar and ensure that you get somewhat more timely care next time.

(The wait is... concerningly close to how long it takes to spontaneously recover from a typical depressive episode without treatment. I'd call that intentional if that wasn't giving the NHS too much credit. The service is just overburdened and under staffed, I say as someone shouldering the burden. The irony of it isn't lost on me at all.)

I'd say that my depression getting better wasn't mysterious at all. It started due to immense stress. It got better as I adjusted to the workload, and the real turning point was my slightly hardass boss telling me he was happy with my performance. I could feel the muscles unknotting, as I realized that putting in 120% effort had paid off, and even better, I would be able to sustain things at mere 80% throttle for the rest of the placement.

As I intend to tell a more qualified and better paid shrink: clearly stress reactive, or vulnerable to psychosocial stressors.

Will this relief last? I don't know. Odds are against it, probably, given my history. But it clearly had a massive component of "shit life syndrome" and I managed to make my life markedly less shit.

Anyway. Sorry you had to go through your own issues, and happy that you're better. I found it very helpful to remind myself, at the nadir, that things would get better if I toughed it out. They did. I agree that winters are awful. That is why I usually flee to warmer climes. I'll get a SAD lamp anyway, if I remember to. Or join the local lassies at a tanning booth, if I ever lose all dignity.

An interesting observation: colors are literally [more saturated] when you're not depressed.

Note: The overwhelming prevalence of the flawed sRGB/HSL color space in computer screens may lead people to have false impressions regarding which colors truly count as "saturated". The newfangled OKLab/OKLCH color space (1 2) is useful in curing those misconceptions.

I have mixed feelings about the fact that I recently, over dinner, found out that most of my junior colleagues are older than me.

Funny anecdote: Prior to retiring, I asked my boss and a colleague how old they were, and was surprised to learn that they were a whopping ten years older than I was (i. e., in their early 40s). I was expecting them to be just a few years older than I was. But I'm bad at judging ages.

Hey my VO2 max improvements have plateaued since entering a somewhat catabolic state/ cutting. Is that normal or do I actually just need to push harder?

New Year's resolution check-in:

  • I realise that, for the last few weeks, I've been neglecting to include updates on my resolution to post at least twenty-six blog posts this year. Fear not: I haven't been slacking. In August I published two posts about the Jason Arday scandal, both of which I cross-posted here. I posted an article this afternoon, expanded from this post. That brings me up to twenty-one posts so far this year.
  • Went to the gym three times last week and again on Monday evening. My lower back isn't fully healed and I have a big event coming up in two weeks so I'm not taking any chances with squats or deadlifts: just bench press, pullups and cardio until the week beginning the twenty-first. I can deadlift 1.82x my bodyweight, squat 1.33x and bench press 0.77x.
  • Have not consumed any pornography since waking up on January 1st.

How goes it @self_made_human, @thejdizzler, @birb_cromble, @ThomasdelVasto and @falling-star?

I need to cancel my gym subscription. And do more push-ups.

My mortgage payment cleared a little earlier this month, so spending is only $196.14 lower than last year.

  1. Work: Nothing new to report.
  2. Fitness. Another week another 65 miles. Did a silly ultra marathon here in Baltimore this past weekend, but dropped out at 23 miles or so. Hours: 8.6 running, 1 swimming.
  3. Intellectual stuff: Four blog posts last month and over 30 hours of Spanish immersion! This month I want to focus on kicking my scrolling habit, so will be less strict about what language I'm reading in, but want to get the total amount of reading up. Currently working on Lenin (he is not a good thinker, I see where woke get it from), Why the West Rules and developmental biology book in Spanish.
  4. Finances: Below 4k (barely) for August, which was pretty bad (-7% savings rate). This month should be better, but I have a lot of extra expenses (Boston Marathon, Spanish lessons, etc.) so will need to watch my spending still despite paying ~$550 less in rent.
  5. Dating. Third date went really well, but need to escalate things from just kissing. Will see her again after I get back from Boston this weekend. Really want to completely quit porn and masturbation and I think this potential relationship is giving the motivation to actually do so, as I've only masturbated one time since last week.
  6. Tarot. No session this week.
  7. Socializing: Went to Philly with my roommate, social for guaranteed income club.
  8. Screen time: 1.4 hours. Too much scrolling.
  9. Meditation: 5 minutes 3x last week. Would like to make this more of a priority.

guaranteed income club

The what now?

I'm part of UBI pilot scheme that my friend Alex runs in Baltimore. The idea is that you donate 7% of your income and then you get the average donation out. So I earn $4k a month, and contribute $280 or so for example. If the average contribution is more than 280 I get some money and if it's below I give. When the program started I was receiving small amounts of money, and now I'm giving about $50/month.

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