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Small-Scale Question Sunday for March 5, 2023

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There's something I wanted to talk about for a while. Desserts.

No, not the arid terrains with sand dunes and camels. The sweet things people sometimes eat at the end of the meal. Those ones.

So, when I came to live in the US (a while ago), I found the dessert game in the most restaurants - even upscale ones (not the Michelin level - I am not rich enough to go to those) - is pitifully bad. In general, in the States, you can have a good meal in many places, serving wide variety of cuisines. I have had hundreds of excellent meals. Finding an excellent dessert was much harder.

Most places have chocolate cake, maybe a cheesecake, maybe ice cream. Crème brûlée if they are fancy (over half of them won't make it right though). Maybe couple more options, but that's it. Nothing to write home about.

Cafés are even worse. Unless it's one of those rare specialized shops, you get muffins, croissants, maybe lemon loafs, and those enormous cookies whose point I still can't get. If they feel fancy, maybe some French macarons. But usually that's it. For any real variety - and the world of pastry and patisserie is no less varied than the world of main dishes - you need to go to a specialized shop. Which are quite rare. I have probably a dozen of cake shops around - but I don't need a whole frickin wedding cake! I just want something small and nice to have with my coffee. But within at least 20 minute drive of my place, I see maybe one place with decent variety (which is also closed half of the week - probably because lack of patrons?). Despite over half a million people living around. Back when I lived in Silicon Valley (~3 mln people?), I knew some decent places, but also not too many, especially outside of SF.

So why is this happening? Do Americans hate desserts? Do they just not care? Or am I just not looking at the right places and it is my ignorance that is causing me to suffer (as usual)?

I remember when I first visited the US (even longer while ago, over 20 years now) it was nearly the same situation with beer. It's not that you couldn't get a decent beer at all. It's that you can't expect a random or even upscale place to have even a half decent beer game, and you needed to go to special places for weird people to get a good beer. Now the situation has been, thankfully, greatly changed. Even in a random pub you can have one-two decent beers on draft, more in cans/bottles, any self-respecting restaurant would have some local crafts and some nationally popular choices, a good pub would have dozens, and it's not unheard of to encounter a multi-page beer menu in a non-specialized place. And even the most mundane supermarkets would bother to present a respectable selection.

Could this happen to the sweets too? I understand the complexities (beer is much easier to pack and preserve than sweets), but maybe there's still hope?

Non american here so take what I say with a grain of salt.

The US has good desserts. The ones that stood out to me when I visited;

  • New York Cheesecake. This shit was absolute crack for me, even the 9 usd Walmart ones. I hardly know anyone who doesnt like cheesecake. Even Pakistani villagers who turn their noses at most Western foods lost their minds having cheese cake for the first time.

  • Pies. Personally not a big fan of the supposedly very American Apple pie, but good blueberry, pecan and sweet potato are worth seeking out imo. There are more and more variations the more south you go.

  • Brownies.

  • Cannolis, youd find good ones in NYC

  • Donuts, the good yeast ones not Dunkins and god forbid not Tim Hortons.

  • Pancakes and waffles drowned in butter and maple syrup. Sorry not breakfast, these are desserts. Just dont be a barbarian and have it with scrambled eggs in the same plate like a lot of Americans do.

I know Americans have a tendency towards excess but the deserts are good if you go for a reasonable portion size without drowning it in ice cream and chocolate syrup.

The best US food I had overall was in the state of Georgia, the south knows how to cook.

Don't forget custard stands and ice cream shoppes, which should be considered desserts under any definition.

Personally not a big ice cream guy, i can tolerate a scoop max if the conditions are ideal such as the ideal oce cream weather and its high quality and not a sugar bomb.

TBH I hate donuts - way too sweet, way too much fat. Same for American type pancakes - though crepes are good, one of my favorites, with the right filling (no Nutella, please!) Brownies - well, if you don't oversugar it and give it a good balance, it's a good one, but common mainstream brownie is not very good either. Cheesecakes - yes, sure, I've had excellent ones. Good, solid contender - but it's like having Heineken beer. Nothing bad about it as an option, just doesn't make the beer game alone.

Pies I'm kinda ambivalent about. Some pies are very good, but most common ones I find average at best. I know "The American Pie" is kinda cultural foundation, but I personally do not worship at its altar. A good one is a nice complement to a home meal, but in a fancy restaurant I'd expect something more. Unless it's some kind of spectacular once-a-lifetime one, but I never had any of those.

Cannolis - I didn't try many, I've had some pretty good ones, which I liked, but I think I need to go to New York to taste really good ones. I'll add it to the list of things do to in New York.

Even Pakistani villagers who turn their noses at most Western foods lost their minds having cheese cake for the first time.

I remember an episode from King's Dark Tower series, when the Gunslinger gets into our universe and tastes Coca-Cola for the first time. He is so completely overwhelmed by the sugary taste that he asks - given there's this thing is so widely available, why people would need any other drugs? Unfortunately, to my palate it feels kinda gross now... Not the cake, the sugar bombing.

I would say that American desserts fall into that category of foods where the median sample is alright/mediocre but the good one is extraordinary. While youre in NYC visit Clinton Street Baking Co. I think their pancakes might change your mind, Not the typical sugar bomb. Ive been years ago not sure if it survived covid though.

The afformentioned quality especially applies to donuts. A good donut and a bad one lets say from dunkin isnt even the same food.

Ultimately you might have to just accept that American desserts won't be that good. I rate East Asian cuisines savory dishes as the best around, but neither the Chinese, Koreans or Thais can come up with a good dessert, Chinese desserts range from mediocre to horrific ( "Sweet fungus soup", yes literal mushrooms in sugar water). And seriously wtf is with the hype behind Mochis. Even though Youtube tells me Koreans and Japanese are quite good at recreating Western desserts.

I think sweet fungus soup is something where the translation makes it sound worse than it actually is. People probably imagine a portobello mushroom in sugar syrup or something, but in reality the fungus is a crunchy/chewy, translucent thing that pairs reasonably well with a (mildly, by US standards) sweet soup that also usually contains stuff like lotus seeds. I wouldn’t really describe it as a mushroom at all. I’m not saying it’s amazing, but it can be a positive addition to a meal.

As far as East Asian desserts go, I think Taiwan makes a decent showing. They just tend to be sold at specialized shops and not as the last course in a regular restaurant.

I happen to like Mochis btw. But I tasted actual hand-made mochis (and I mean the traditional way, with wooden mallets and all) and mochis from Japanese shops that specialize in making mochis - this is completely different business from what you could get in the supermarket or even average restaurant. It's not my most favorite dessert, but it's alright if you know where to get it. But yes, when I go to Korean or Japanese restaurant, or Thai, I don't expect too much on the dessert side, and it's ok, I understand their approach may be different and their "sweet fungus" may be weird for me. But the West has a very rich dessert tradition that I am completely in tune with, so from a Western-type restaurant I certainly would have much higher expectations.