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Dating is a matching market. Matching markets just tend to be hellscapes, and the larger they get the worse they get. But that's not the only problem. The change in balance in power is part of it. I just saw a thread on twitter where a man was derided because he said he want on something like 30 dates and they all went the same way: he took the girl out for dinner, they went for a walk, and he waited for them to initiate physical contact because he didn't want to be #metoo'd. Only 2 did (which is higher than I'd expect). You can claim this is merely paranoia on his part, but that requires putting your head in the sand.
Problem is they shouldn't 'have' to be this large. I keep noticing that the dating apps are simply unable to produce for me a match inside a 30 mile radius... but still spit out the occasional attractive-seeming match at like 90+ miles away.
But why, why in the hell should I have to search out to 90 miles when I haven't actually exhausted the options inside 30? It makes no damn sense. There's someone making these sorts of decisions on how 'large' to make the market and I think it is pretty clear their incentives are misaligned with the actual market participants.
The way the apps work, this has to be intentionally engineered outcome, and thus it could also be engineered out. This won't save us by itself, but its just one of many steps that could be taken to mitigate the problems.
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Speaking of initiating physical contact, I've noticed that now even when women are into me, they have no concept of reciprocating physical contact. It's the equivalent of going starfish. I get more reciprocal affection from petting a cat.
It wasn't always this way, I remember when they'd lean in or give me a hip-bump or something. Now it's all recieve, no give.
Been noticing something similar. I have had to reach over and literally drag a woman's leg over to lay across mine when we're sitting on a bench or couch together at times. They seem quite happy that I do this, but holy hell the ol' "rub your foot gently along his leg" trick doesn't seem to be commonly taught anymore.
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From a certain perspective and to a certain limited extent, this is just things working as intended. The men who are stupid enough or paranoid enough to allow themselves to be totally stymied by the propaganda (i.e. undesirable men) will weed themselves out of the dating pool, leaving only the men who are savvy enough to actually navigate complex and adversarial social dynamics (i.e. more desirable men).
Yeah except there's readily available news stories, RIGHT NOW, about 'more desireable men' getting blasted with rape accusations YEARS after the act despite evidence on the ground showing it appeared fully consensual at the time.
So you are in fact showing that these men are not 'savvy' they just get what they want right up until one of their past conquests gets uppity enough to pull the trigger she had available all along.
You can't "navigate complex and adversarial social dynamics" when the actual dynamics can be unilaterally changed by one party a long time after the fact.
That dog won't hunt, even 'desirable' men can rationally opt out of that.
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The propaganda, however, is true. And the men who can make it through are scarce and often not high quality. It is true that a common female strategy is to put up an apparent brickwall filter -- that is, a filter that no one passes -- and accept only men who ignore her objections. However, that strategy only works when it's possible for decent men to do so. Current culture does not.
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It has been long Noticed that, while it may or may not be coordinated or intentional as such, feminism often functions as a civilizational shit-test for men.
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He deserves the derision for taking chicks on first date dinner dates.
Hoping for courage and initiative from young women is a great way to never get laid.
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