The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Notes -
I'm socially retarded, if that's the right expression.
Due to combination of poor environment, luck and personal flaws, so far (approaching mid 20s) I had few friends, zero experience in relationships, missed several conventional life milestones and trying to catch up. I'm pretty sure I'm not autistic and not blatantly psychiatrically defective (based on reading WebMD) so it's only a matter of skill and practice to get to a tolerable place, yet...how do I navigate talking about difficult topics, especially myself? Additional challenge - I absolutely loathe having to lie.
I tried to use my strengths to combat my weakness and prepare answers in writing for questions that I anticipate but it's not really helpful. I have seen people gliding awkward questions with effortless grace, but as can be inferred from what I wrote so far, that's not something I can do. One of the first conversations with my classmates in college from some years ago:
Her: "Do you have a girlfriend?"
Me: “no”
Her: did you had one before?
Me: “no”
proceed to an awkward pause
I'm only farther behind now, and I don't know if I could handle conversations like that any better.
That made me think: is telling small lies just social glue that most people are pushed to use, except for eloquent speakers and those who are cool enough as in genuinely-don't-give-a-damn and I'm just crippling myself further?
While I’d recommend staying away from toxic PUA writings, one of the best things I discovering perusing those poison laced tomes was the idea of “agree and amplify.”
Basically if someone is making you uncomfortable or challenging you in some way (like in your example) you confidently laugh it off and make it absurd. For instance, you could reply “oh yeah I’m saving myself for marriage.” Make sure to frame it as a joke.
As others have pointed out, joking isn’t lying! It’s all about tone and body language, watch some modern comedians maybe to get an idea.
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