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PaperclipPerfector  10mo ago (text post)   3430 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for June 25, 2023

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I play a Co-Ed recreational sport in my spare time. One of the players has annoyed enough people that I'm thinking of kicking her out. But she has shown a willingness to report people to the national board for minor offenses.

Any thoughts on how to remove her without triggering national board reprisals?

One approach is to make her want to quit, instead of firing her -- not sure what to suggest for making her life difficult in the context of a rec sports league though. Light-duty plausibly deniable bullying might do it, but for that you need a heartless bully.

Hilariously this is sort of what my wife suggested before she stopped herself and realized "oh, im suggesting bullying her out of the league ... let me think about this some more".

She is more likely to report the bullying I think. Someone on our mailing list jokingly called one of his friends fat, and she reported him. She is a little fat herself, so was obviously sensitive about that.

Also she is an anxiety ridden mess. Cries at tournaments, gets devastated by the slightest criticisms, etc. I feel like the slightest bullying would destroy her, or send her on a crazy war-path. I'm not really interested in dealing with either of those.

My default option right now is that she will just quietly never be on the team again, and never allowed to register for tournaments we host. No reasons ever given. I've also thought about removing her from the email list, but that would be obvious and lead to questions.

Also she is an anxiety ridden mess. Cries at tournaments, gets devastated by the slightest criticisms, etc.

"The better to bully you with, my dear"...

I don't think I personally would be mean enough for this either though -- maybe you could recruit some Motteposters to your team as enforcers?

If she has any friends at all I guess the sensitive alternative would be some sort of sit-down chat -- it doesn't seem like she's getting what she'd like out of the sport, and could be better served by trying something else. (or a less competitive league? not sure the sport, but there's definitely opportunities out there for drop-in etc where nobody will criticize you for anything ever)

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