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Culture War Roundup for the week of July 10, 2023

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Over the years online I've encountered a few people who make this kind of argument and I have to say that it baffles me.

I'm a man and I can honestly say I've never for a moment felt envious of women and I really don't understand the people who say that if they could choose, they would choose to be born as a woman. The only thing you've really listed that bothers me is child support and custody, I've got no kids myself but I feel for the good fathers who get a raw deal from the courts.

The "minimum deal" of life for men is worse than for women. The "minimum deal" for women seems to be "get married." The minimum deal for men seems to be: become homeless and kill yourself, if you aren't murdered first.

I'll take being homeless thanks, I'd much rather be bum-fighting a junkie than live my life as any woman. I've been in plenty of fights, brawls and various other flavours of fracas over the course of my life and I've enjoyed them all thus far, I don't know what the hell your average woman does to pass the time nowadays (eat hot chip and lie?) but I have to imagine it would be deathly boring by comparison.

I'd much rather be bum-fighting a junkie than live my life as any woman.

This is an interesting question: you wouldn't change your mind if she was beautiful, wealthy, physically fit, socially gifted. You'd rather be you...but homeless, and likely with mental health or substance abuse or perhaps legal issues keeping you homeless.

I'm considering your case with mild curiosity (not disapproval per se, just a very foreign worldview).

I haven't thrown a punch in anger in like 15 years, and the closest within recent memory is when a junkie fuckup was screwing an ex of mine, and I hit the gym and forced myself to lift while imagining beating the shit out of him. Even then, it was more kayfabe than something I'd do unprovoked.

Of course, India has less physical violence than the US does. Bar fights are absolutely not a common thing.

I've also never had people try and pick a fight with me, and they'd be stupid to, because I'm like +3 SD taller than the average Indian male.

Now, if you're unable to fight back, then you're not a pacifist, you're just harmless. I'm categorically not, I was mildly tempted to volunteer in Ukraine when I saw the atrocities happening there, and I have no qualms about stabbing a fool if the need arises.

Thankfully, I can point to absolutely no scenario in my life where that would have been a remotely good decision.

Of course, India has less physical violence than the US does.

Citation needed.

I'll take being homeless thanks, I'd much rather be bum-fighting a junkie than live my life as any woman. I've been in plenty of fights, brawls and various other flavours of fracas over the course of my life and I've enjoyed them all thus far

I would say you're on the far right tail of "down to fight hobos," even among young men. Regularly fighting in uncontrolled environments sounds like a bad time to me, especially when it comes to hobos—I'd rather fight pro-MMA fighters. Fights can be fun until one day they're not. On a side note, there used to be a video series called "Bumfights," of which I'm sure there are clips floating around on the interwebs.

I don't know what the hell your average woman does to pass the time nowadays (eat hot chip and lie?) but I have to imagine it would be deathly boring by comparison.

You're thinking of this from a male-brained perspective. Many women spend tons of time on things like make-up, fashion, shopping, and taking selfies—interests/activities that most men would find "deathly boring." Yet women enjoy such things. If you were instead born a girl, or a switch flipped to turn you overnight into a woman (with the attendant neurological and hormonal changes), female-you might suddenly find eating hot chip and lying to be intensely interesting activities, alongside twerking, being bisexual, and charging your phone. Female-you might suddenly have a higher tolerance for boredom in general.

I think a lot more men would like those activities if it weren’t for social stigma. Fashion for men was historically huge in the West and is very prevalent in some countries still, make-up is getting more and more popular for men in Korea, and lots of men are addicted to shopping, just for “male-coded” things like video games or gear for their hobbies. And I know a lot of masculine gym bros who suddenly got obsessed with taking selfies the moment their physique became visible.

You're thinking of this from a male-brained perspective

I mean, it's not like I have much choice on the matter and believe me I am aware that women find the things I like to be boring. I'm not going to be so cruel as to try and force some poor woman to sit through Das Boot.

If you were instead born a girl, or a switch flipped to turn you overnight into a woman (with the attendant neurological and hormonal changes), female-you might suddenly find eating hot chip and lying to be intensely interesting activities, alongside twerking, being bisexual, and charging your phone. Female-you might suddenly have a higher tolerance for boredom in general.

I see your point, but at the same time that's such a radical and fundamental change that I don't think I'd consider this hypothetical person to be me anymore. Who I am can't be disentangled from growing up as a boy and living as a man.

I have to say that it baffles me.

Ok...

I'd much rather be bum-fighting a junkie than live my life as any woman.

So many you just don't respect women?

I've been in plenty of fights, brawls and various other flavours of fracas over the course of my life and I've enjoyed them all

I've worked security in a few bars and spent my younger years doing MMA; I've heard similar lines from a lot of 'tough guys' who've never thrown a punch in their lives.

How many times have you broken your nose/ribs/knuckles? How many times have you been stabbed? How much time and money have you spent in court fighting off charges and law suits? You enjoyed them all?

So many you just don't respect women?

I wouldn't put it like that. I just really enjoy being male, all of my interests are deep inside "man" territory and as such there's really nothing on the feminine side of the spectrum that makes me go "oh yeah, I'd want that for myself".

I'm pretty lucky thus far and haven't been stabbed, although I have had to pick some decent sized shards of broken bottle out after one nasty incident, I was lucky to not need stitches. No breaks either, although I've dislocated my right shoulder twice and my nose tends to dramatically explode into a fountain of blood whenever someone so much as taps it. Closest I've been to lawsuits/charges over fighting was when I broke another kids leg when I was in my late teens.

I've worked security in a few bars and spent my younger years doing MMA; I've heard similar lines from a lot of 'tough guys' who've never thrown a punch in their lives.

I swear some former doorman always pops up to say this whenever the topic of fighting comes up online, as if you need credentials to make poor life choices. I get into fights because I get angry and make bad decisions in the heat of the moment, I enjoy them because the adrenaline and catharsis of releasing a lot of anger into my surroundings drowns out the pain and fear I would normally feel for doing something so reckless. It's not smart, but it feels amazing.

I wouldn't put it like that...

Ok

I really don't understand the people who say that if they could choose, they would choose to be born as a woman.

I would put it like that.

I swear some former doorman always pops up to say this whenever the topic of fighting comes up online,

Ok

I've been in plenty of fights, brawls and various other flavours of fracas over the course of my life and I've enjoyed them all

This is what people say, who've never been in an actual fight. This is something a 14 year old would say.

This is why people who've done things like security or did some fighting pop and say something. It's obvious your experience comes from video games.

Maybe. But there are a few no bullshit soldiers that enjoyed fighting in literal wars. There's not many, but they're out there. Also this guy could be extremely attached to being a man and his male sex/gender: he'd rather be a hobo fighting homeless junkies (and potentially being killed/maimed/thrown in jail from same) than be a beautiful, wealthy, socially graceful, healthy woman.

I get into fights because I get angry and make bad decisions in the heat of the moment, I enjoy them because the adrenaline and catharsis of releasing a lot of anger into my surroundings drowns out the pain and fear I would normally feel for doing something so reckless. It's not smart, but it feels amazing.

I admit, I would've never expected someone like this to be so self-aware about it. Thanks for expanding my perspective.