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Is this a full blown victim blaming in the most influential printed medium by decorated feminist? Or am I overreacting?
nytimes.com: https://archive.ph/tZn3B#selection-457.82-457.95
How is this different from "You’ve put yourself in a dangerous situation because you’ve done a foolish thing by flirting with that guy wearing that dress"?
The motte of the feminist complaint about "Victim Blaming" type methods as a rape-prevention strategy for women, is that they are being asked to not do very basic things. People accused of Victim Blaming are often telling women not to dress in such and such a way, to go to such and such a place, to never drink to excess, to never trust a strange man, to never trust her boss, to never put herself in a position where a man might have leverage over her, at some point to never leave the house without male escort.
Men, here, are being asked to not fuck crazy, drunk, sluts. There are plenty of happy, relatively sober sluts to fuck instead.
To be fair, I cosign both forms of advice, within reason.
Except that the advice given to women is in you example is pretty exaggerated. The places women are asked to avoid are generally places that are dangerous to men as well. General safety means not going to seedy bars, not walking in dark alleys and not getting blackout drunk. Other than “wear clothes that fully cover your reproductive organs and breasts” I’m not seeing anything that would seriously curtail normal life for most people. Nobody is telling women to stay home and wear a burka except in their imagination.
We can go back and forth all day citing our Mottes and Baileys of shitty men and shitty women. People are absolutely out there willing to blame any woman who gets raped, they do it in every high profile case. Is that the majority or even an important minority of people? Idk, depends on your perspective I guess, and your tolerance of slipperiness of slopes.
Except one could argue the stronger case here, that the incentive structure has changed to favor shitty behavior. This is helpful to absolutely nobody, but nobody wants to make the changes necessary to see to it that this doesn’t happen to them.
If you want to curb abuse and shitty behavior, you need the sociocultural mechanisms in place, that put a very high cost on the behavior that people today are accustomed to. The reason this won’t happen however, is because negative trends are rarely reversed. Dysfunctional cycles have to die and be reset. They won’t be remedied. People want their sexual and dating successes/advantages to be preserved and extended, while being shielded from having to be impacted by negative events.
Both sides arguing over ‘fairness’ and ‘justice’ is overwhelmingly a cover for envy, and the power plays both sides try to routinely use on the other.
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