The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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I've stopped using Hinge and can't bring myself to try again because every time I do, the same thing happens; I get a reasonable number of matches and likes, frankly more Likes than make sense. I'll have a short conversation, ask for a date, get a yes. Then the day of the date, she bails, sometimes with apologies, always without suggesting an alternate date. If I ask for another date, she says yes, next week rolls around and she bails the day of. This cycle continues until I take the hint and stop asking. I do not know how to get this to stop happening. I also don't get why I don't hear this complaint from other people; typically they complain about getting no matches or not hearing back after the first date.
I've considered completely cutting people off after the first flake. I've considered very tepidly expressing my disappointment at being flaked on. I've considered talking beforehand about how often I get flaked on and asking please please please if they don't want to turn up for a date, then just say that instead of saying yes and then flaking, because I find it way more painful than a "no." None of these strike me as good ideas.
And I live in fucking Chicago of all places.
Another one I've heard is the matches are of a poor quality in the sense that people don't like the people they're meeting up with even if they look good/decent which leads to cycling through a massive amount of people, which is exhausting and dispiriting.
I've not heard of your complaint as a recurring issue. I wonder if is a Chicago thing or a you thing.
That's a woman problem on dating apps. A man getting that many dates with women he doesn't want to date long-term but look good/decent is a successful dater.
I've heard of men who swipe right on everything then report disappointment at dating many women less attractive than they'd like, but they don't want to risk possible ego damage by swiping only on attractive women and seeing few or no matches.
Shrug. I see matches with attractive women, they just never say anything. Or agree to dates then flake, as I said above. Once more, dates actually happening would be a huge achievement for me.
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