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Can someone explain to me: engagement rings, wedding rings, and wedding bands?
In the normal course of events, how many total rings are involved? Which ones are meant to have big gems on them, and which ones aren't?
Are there some sort of trends in what they're made of, what gems are common to use, etc.? (I've only ever heard of diamond, but I really don't know.)
I guess following on from that: is it really a common action to do the one-knee, surprise, "Will you marry me?" thing? Would you or did you do this? If you are the recipient of a wedding proposal, how would you want that to happen?
[some previous discussion here, with this being some of the better advice]
[caveat: I'm... not a traditionalist, here, so to speak]
Wedding rings vs wedding bands are mostly a female/male thing. Bands are usually simpler, favoring engraving (if that!) over stones. The wedding ring/band is given during the wedding ceremony itself. Engagement ring is what someone offers as part of the "Will you marry me", and at least in recent years is usually the more complex or pricey part.
Stone matters a lot on the person. Diamonds are the traditional high-value stone, because they're relatively resistant to casual scratching (though very vulnerable to impact and to low pressure!) and their value, but in some circles they're increasingly disfavored over ethics of diamond mining. Some people do really love the idea of a gem that matches their eyes, or have favorite gems, or love the idea of their 'birth stone', or whatever: for someone that's not wanting the traditional deal, this can get you a much bigger stone or more small stones for much less price.
I will caution about soft stones, though; a lot of women like opal, but it's a bitch to maintain and you basically never can wear it.
For bands, traditional offerings are gold or silver alloys: few people are allergic to the common ones, and they have a wide array of possible coloration. Titanium has picked up in popularity for men's rings, and it's nicely light-weight, but comes with the caution that it's a pain in the tuckus to cut safely if it gets stuck or in a medical emergency. Platinum and palladium sometimes show up as super-chemically-stable options, because they resist chlorine so well, but they're softer than common gold/silver alloys and kinda a bitch. More esoteric options are available, but come with risks -- there's weirdos doing everything from etched superconductor to exotic hardwoods, but you'd want to talk with your SO before even considering them, and many of them can't be resized.
Avoid nickel and very-nickel-heavy alloys; not only are a lot of people allergic, nickel sensitivity can build up over time, and they're very sensitive to long-term chlorine exposure. Bronze/brass/copper sometimes work, but they need to be sealed (usually a wax or lacquer that must be applied every couple months) or be manufactured with a (non-galvanically-compatible) internal metal sleeve, or they'll leech onto your skin, leaving green discolorations -- not harmful but not what you're looking for in a daily wear.
((I'd assume you're het or in a male/female relationship, but for completeness: A lot of gay guys just go with dual-wedding bands, no engagement ring; my brother and his husband exchanged some pretty classy titanium/accent bands that imo are a lot more practical and pleasant-looking than the traditional gold-and-rock combo. I have no idea what the norms are for lesbians.))
Wedding proposals are similarly socially-bound in a lot of ways; some women really like the idea, but it's also a lot of pressure and possible humiliation. Some 'surprises' are either discussed beforehand or very very heavily implied beforehand.
That previous discussion does look pretty much right to me.
For traditional, hard to beat gold for inertness in terms of resistance to tarnish and allergen potential. Also has the pros of being easy(ish) to resize and easy(ish) to cut off in an emergency.
For non-traditional bands I would add tungsten as an option. Its density does make the ring feel "special" though it can also be a con if the the weight is bothersome to you. Tungsten is also pretty good on inertness. You should probably be able to shatter a tungsten ring in an emergency, but that assumes the person removing the ring recognizes that's the right approach. Personally, I go for a silicone band in situations where a band might be expected but I might be doing light stuff with my hands. In the shop or any other place where there is any risk of a degloving injury absolutely no jewelry. Have a dedicated place to place your ring in the shop so it doesn't get lost.
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