bolido_sentimental
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User ID: 205
I am a golfer, although I'm a super casual and have not been doing it for very long; and equally important, I already have multiple full bags' worth of clubs I can play. I think for me the appeal is that it's so fun to see how all the different ones will hit - especially given that there are several thrift stores within 15 minutes of me that price them at $1.00 a club. "Hmmm, that's an interesting bounce on that sand wedge. I wonder if it'll help me play out of trouble? Let's just find out." It combines well with another hobby, which is: going to the driving range and practicing. Sometimes I'll just take an entire bag of "new" thrift clubs and test them all out. It makes for a really fascinating afternoon for less than $20 - if you're into that kind of thing.
In terms of gems, honestly, that's even more uncommon than I anticipated. If you consider the "big" manufacturers to be Callaway, Titleist, Ping, Cobra, and TaylorMade - I've seen clubs manufactured by those companies in the last 25 years, like... never. Genuinely just about never. In the age of the Internet I guess people know how much stuff is worth, so those don't end up in places like that. Once I saw a set of King Cobra II irons that was missing the 9, and an ancient TaylorMade Burner 5-wood with a tiny little head. (I did buy that one.) I've heard of people reselling thrift store clubs and making money; I guess those folks just get to them first.
As far as playable clubs go, though, I've found some really nice stuff. I have a Nickent Super Concorde 7-wood that plays beautifully. I even found an ancient Northwestern 1-iron so I could find out if they're really as hard to play as people say. (Answer: Yep. They certainly are. But it gives me something to aim for - when I can hit that 1-iron off the deck, I'll know I've truly accomplished something.)
My hobbies that involve spending money are primarily:
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Hunting for old golf clubs at thrift stores and flea markets. Less than $100 a month. (I couldn't even explain why I do this. I just get the urge.)
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Driving around and taking pictures of stuff. Well less than $100 a month (just gas and snacks really).
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Reading; buying books at the used bookstore up the street. $50 max a month.
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Working out at the Y. About $45 a month in membership.
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Occasionally drinking at bars, breweries, etc. Probably not more than $100 a month on average, but months with special occasions do pop up and drive this up.
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Video games... I don't really play a ton, and usually when I do, it's one game for a long time. Like $25 a month tops.
That's pretty much it. I'd have to do something really unusual to even hit 10% of my budget. I guess the key is that I like to cook and prefer to cook, so I go out to eat only 1-2 times a month. Other hobbies I have just don't cost anything. I play guitar but I like the guitar I've got; I like to work on my garden but that's free. I take a lot of long walks, that's free; I write, that's free. My friends and I hang out at each other's houses a lot, or else we do stuff that's like, "Let's go and look at x. Hmmm, that's a cool x."
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
I live in Ohio now, but I think at the time of the SSC/Motte split, I lived in Bowling Green, KY. I'm not sure if those were the best years of my life but they were pretty good ones. Western Kentucky is a wonderful place.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
I did in fact do this today - I visited Ripley, Ohio; Aberdeen, Ohio, and Maysville, Kentucky, three small towns on the Ohio River. Just picked a spot on the map where I could say, "I've never been there."
It was great. Really relaxing - it always feels nice to get some time alone in the car on an open highway, to think about things. Weather was pretty good - a little bit of gentle rain that kept me from taking quite as many pictures as I would have liked, but this also kept it cool. I had a surprisingly wonderful pork tenderloin sandwich in Maysville.
Here are a few pictures I took today if you'd like to see.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
Let me know how it is if you start it. There's a copy of it on my bookshelf that I've never cracked open.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
Finished The Big Short today. Remarkable how much it all resembled a game of musical chairs - no one wanted to be the one left holding the bag at the end. Also a great example of "people won't understand something if their job depends on not understanding it." I didn't see much in there to make me think that something similar couldn't easily happen again.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
What are you guys doing on Juneteenth? I have a random day off. Trying to decide if I want to go for a drive to some random town an hour away. I have no idea if there's anything there - probably there isn't. But it would be neat to find out.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
I had never thought of that. Signed up this morning, that does seem like a good service. Voting on some other people's photos, it also gave me a good sense of what other people do well and poorly.
Get closer to the camera, people!
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
Signing on kind of just to follow along, as I'm in an extremely similar spot with you. I also got back on the apps myself a few days ago.
Thus far I've had very little luck, just a handful of matches and nothing that's gone anywhere. I did make a fairly "generalist" kind of profile and right now I actually do hypothesize that it's not targeted at any particular type of girl well enough; like perhaps I'm not emphasizing any specific part of my personality or interests enough to grab someone's attention. I think my pictures are good, I'm pretty fit and not bad-looking, but not remarkable either. Without rancor, I think if it comes down purely to looks that isn't going to be enough for me, so it makes me think I need to do more to stand out. It's a bit like a cover letter or resume, isn't it? Tailor it towards the job you're applying for? I may remake my profiles soon with that in mind.
As you note it's interesting to try and decide, therefore, who you want to catch. I volunteer at a used bookstore and my house is full of books; some girls are into that. I also play tennis and golf, and like to work out; a different set of girls are into that. And I like to drink a large quantity of Miller Genuine Draft and then belt "My Own Worst Enemy" at the local dive bar on karaoke night. Probably some girls are into that as well. But I don't know that I can appeal to all of those with one profile. Honestly, I'm sort of considering making three very different profiles on three apps. What could go wrong?
One thing I'll add: on Bumble I see plenty of girls who list their politics as "conservative." Far more than I would've expected. Admittedly I live in a big Midwestern metro and not on the coast, but still. That's an option, they do exist; and I think there's no way I'm going to match them with my profile set up as it currently is: with no politics listed. Really I only just thought of this. I kind of wonder if having no politics listed is actually a turnoff. I'm sure it varies.
It is curious to be back in the dating scene in 2023. I dated extensively in my 20s, and every girl I was with, I met in person somehow. At least at that time, the old advice did hold up, that you could meet mates just by doing interesting things. I dated a girl from NaNoWriMo; I dated a girl I met at an anime convention. I dated a girl I met at some random party, and one I met at a Meetup.com meetup, and a friend of a friend who I met at a bonfire. By some quirk of timing, I have had absolutely no success of this kind since the Covid-19 pandemic. I think that that's just a coincidence, but I also feel like I just don't get the same opportunities that I did previously. I still go to stuff, and I think, "Where are all the cool people at?"
One final thought - I've only actually dated one girl I met via an app, and that was via OkCupid back before it turned into another swiping app. In general I still like the profile + messaging-based dating sites a lot more - I think that Match.com is a great interface. But the network effects are a killer: fewer and fewer people are on those now. I used Match for a while last year and simply couldn't find anyone I wanted to message.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
That's kind of interesting to think about: what is bar culture/drinking culture like in India? Are bars actually quite uncommon there? Do people drink less than e.g. Americans, or just differently? Is there a big class divide of some kind?
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
Has anybody here ever tried tai chi?
I can't quite get a handle on if it's a practice which could provide real benefits in terms of flexibility, coordination, etc., or if it's just a meme activity.
I find myself thinking about it mainly because I keep driving past a tai chi studio and I wonder what they get up to in there. I imagine it's not the optimized/minmaxed exercise mode for strength, cardio health, or anything else, but I'm tempted to go take a class or two anyway just to say I did, and to meet the kinds of people that do it. Curious to hear your experiences.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
I own a suit, and I wear it 3-4 times a year. Usually for "occasions" but sometimes just for fun.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
I would strongly suggest never "telling her your romantic feelings." Or, not for a very long time past the moment when romance has already blossomed, assuming it does.
This is a handy reminder. I feel like I knew this a long time ago, and had kind of forgotten about it. There is a time to talk about that stuff but it's not any time soon.
I got kind of trapped by the last girl I asked out: she immediately said to me, "Are you asking me on a date?" I said yes - I figured it was better than waffling. And she actually did agree to go on the date after that! It didn't go anywhere after that, but you never know until you try.
Find some event, be it a movie, gallery exhibit, new restaurant opening, power tractor pull, airshow, whatever. An event that has a set time. Ask her to that in a way that suggests you are excited to go to it. She will say either yes, no, or put you off. If either of the latter, you will hace a good sense of how interested she is in how she does them. If the former, you're golden.
Thanks for this. It really is as simple as this. I'm definitely overcomplicating it in my mind.
Thankfully I don't need to do a cold approach, I'm talking about a girl I already know. I just saw her today in fact. This situation is more like the norm of dating from 50 years ago, where you meet people via organized social activities and build up a relationship organically; or at least that's what I'm hoping to do. We'll see how it works out this time. It may indeed be something that's only possible for me because I have a decent level of height, idk.
Could you please share some anecdotes from your lives of successfully asking people out?
For context: there's a girl I really like in my small group from church. This group is going to stop meeting at the end of the month, after which I'd only see her occasionally unless I make it happen otherwise. So I'm going to give it a shot; I can't die wondering what might have been, I know I have to at least try. She and I have a pretty good relationship, which includes an interesting kind of bantering back-and-forth, and we've had some nice conversations in odd occasional moments; I already have her phone number, and we've been inside each other's residences. But we've never spent time together one on one, and I've not expressed my romantic feelings for her.
It's strange for me to be posting this, in that I actually have asked girls out before. Indeed I've done it lots of times, and had success on enough occasions that I know I could possibly succeed again. I've had several relationships; I am sure if I put my mind to it, I can think of some fun way we can spend time together such that, if she actually says yes, we may have a good time. I'm pretty weird-looking tbh but that's never really stopped me before. As Red Green put it, "If they don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy." I'm pretty handy. Or something.
I'm just really psyching myself about it. She and I are both in that late-20s/early-30s stage of life where, at least for me, actually forming an emotional connection to someone before asking them out has become kind of uncommon - that's something I remember from middle/high school, before the adult world of swiping on apps. I'm scared, because it is scary! I really want to not fuck it up - even if she says no, which to my mind is the most likely outcome, I am determined to at least make my best effort and give a good account of myself. So - if anyone can tell me about a time where things did work out for you, it would be most helpful, if only to put some positive images in my mind. Any other advice, pep talk, etc. is also welcome.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
It's quite noticeable at the library, in the new releases section. It often looks like it's 100% women and minorities in American general fiction. Still get the odd continental European or Asian male writer in there. I guess they're just serving what the market has become. And I imagine there isn't a lot of counter-pressure because if you're dissatisfied with that kind of narrative, you can always read the classics.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
Been kind of mid-book recently. I've spent some time this week on Intelligence, Race, and Genetics - an interview-format book by journalist Frank Miele, interviewing Arthur Jensen. Jensen is perhaps the best-known advocate of the concept of the heritability of IQ. He comes off in this book as a man who was very sincerely concerned with finding the truth, a scientist in the realest sense. I find this book to be a good introduction to his ideas, perhaps an easier read than The G Factor.
Also been casually, slowly reading Maupassant's Bel Ami. Man. I wish I lived in the Belle Epoque. I'm sure I'd die of tuberculosis but it would be fun while it lasted.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
I just got a set of old clubs from a guy who's giving up the game. Going to a driving range with a coworker this weekend to try and figure it all out. Just hoping to make contact with the ball, really.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
Been reading John Feinstein's A Good Walk Spoiled. Just follows a group of tour pros on the 1993 PGA tour. Classic sportswriting.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
Yeah I was only joking really. Korn was my gateway drug into all kinds of hardcore etc.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
That feels accurate for sure. In those days, in the place I lived, it felt like all the non-Baptists (including me) were being dominated by the Baptists, and we probably were pushing back against that.
Plus a lot of my friends were really into Korn. I'm not sure anyone does that except to be contrary.
When I was 14, George W. Bush was president. I don't know about the average, but there was a definitely a phase around the time American Idiot came out where it seemed like all anyone in my high school was doing was dunking on W. And this was in Tennessee.
This could definitely have been my personal bubble though. In 2004, I didn't know what a "bubble" was.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
How did you spend your Easter?
The girl I like invited me to Easter dinner at her sister's house. It was a little bit awkward sitting around watching the golf with the men after dinner, so I went out back and played soccer with the kids, which was delightful. Someone needs to teach them all to defend without fouling though. Just because I'm 2.5 times their size doesn't mean they can kick me all over the yard smh.
bolido_sentimental
3yr ago
The thrift store near where my mom lives always has a ton of golf clubs available. I have long considered putting a bag together out of them. What would be the next step? What's the very first thing you need to do in order to start?
Like - when I took up tennis as a kid, I got a buddy, two racquets, and some balls, and we went to a local court when it was deserted and hacked around all day until we started figuring it out. I don't wanna go take up room on the golf course when I have no idea how to hit the ball straight.
Thanks for letting me know about that. I genuinely had no idea. The Goodwills near me, I don't bother going to - they sometimes have no golf clubs at all. St. Vincent de Paul outposts have many.
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