practical_romantic
Pretending to be a cs undergrad.
User ID: 975
Me since age 16, I am 23 now, co-founder of a startup and I am stuck in my room all day. I want to move back to Gurugram where I can occasionally visit nightclubs but even that feels futile, I feel empty when not working and that makes me less likely to work, its a vicious feedback loop. Everything feels empty, I never have enough energy to work and cannot feel happy whenever I am back in my hometown.
Even going to nightclubs is now hard since I recently discovered what STDs are and feel bad. It is a strange phenomenon, I would greatly appreciate if anyone had any advice on how to feel fulfilled when working on a long-term goal or being an adult, is it just meditation or what?
practical_romantic
6mo ago
Woah, I hope I can achieve awakening asap and use the clarity I get from mediation for success in other things in life.
It's honestly an amazing experience, please tell me more about how you got started.
practical_romantic
6mo ago
lol agree with you on most things here. Any division beyond 170 has large gaping holes, MW and above lack decent wrestlers. Romero and Brock both were fairly late to MMA and Brock never even trained at a good camp like romero did. What I meant was that both were way better athletes with actual backgrounds to make it big but had age/health issues cut them short.
HW is still and will always be trash simply because very few people are 6'3 or above, plus the ones that have any semblance of physical gift will just prefer some other sport with more pay and less direct CTE.
Francis is also quite smart in the sense of who he trains with, he left MMA factory Paris for xtreme couture and that was a smart move.
practical_romantic
6mo ago
Stipe was also 50-60 lbs lighter given how much weight ngannou cuts, that is like 3 weight classes
practical_romantic
6mo ago
Yep, heavy hands podcast and Jack Slack have the same analysis of it. Had fury just outboxed him instead of trying to get him out early, he would have won easily.
Rozenstruik is not a good kickboxer and MMA is very different striking-wise due to small gloves. MMA has tons of wannabe kickboxer types like MVP, Shara the one-eyed dagestani, blood diamond etc who never were good enough to win belts in major organisations at weight classes that mattered.
Stipe lost the second time around due to a stupid team on his part which made him weigh in at 234 instead of 250, thwarting his wrestling game. Ngannou does have a great chin on him. His coach is also really smart, eric coached Sean Strickland to a championship in an even more difficult division last month.
Remember, this is heavyweight where the worst of the worst fight. Ngannou would lose to most people if he straight-up boxed. Mousasi beat Kyotaro once, does that make Mousasi a better kickboxer than Kyotaro? no, styles make fights. Ngannou did well, Tyson did poorly and it is all heavyweight. This is not me saying it, the single greatest MMA fighter in my opinion, is GSP who regurgitated this on JRE once and how belts and legacies are constructs that exist just for selling PPVs and getting gullible people to invest in the sport.
Someone like Yoel Romero or Brock Lesnar were much better physical specimens than him and they would be much bigger what ifs. One off matches at heavyweights do not and will never mean much.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
fair enough, also I am surprised that the term oneitis was around 10 years ago.
Also I do agree with your broad sentiment, apologies if I made the post too serious.
No because I like my mother. She was this way when she was young so I can't do it.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
Finally, someone gets it. I have had girl issues but that was just one girl and I learnt how to talk to girls after that. I would feel bad sleeping with a girl who is really chaste and thinking of me as some marriage material which is what happens with them.
I am a religious man, not the most religious but this would be sinful of me.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
I think sloughing this off is something you need to seriously consider doing
Totally, my main priority is fixing my life, being a good programmer, and making money and my lack of skills plus being in my town makes me hate meeting good women, I am certain that I will move out soon in a year or less to a metropolis and meet better women but until then my brain refuses to change. I need to fix my skill deficit and move out, I will get over her.
I detailed the entire saga on themotte subreddit and it was painful, I wish to get over her soon. I want nothing to do with her, I wish her well but I want out of this misery, need to sleep with hotties frequently but that is a few months away.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
My username is about me being realistic in the short term, and delusional in the long term, A friend started calling me a practical romantic since that day.
I actually do not even believe in romance at all and do not think have ever even been on a date the way most people do them, usually just have sex the night or day of and that is about it. I do not even believe in romantic love or soulmates being real (find the second thing very cringey).
practical_romantic
8mo ago
I just want to be rich and help my family, that basically sums it up, I do meditate and it helps but I cannot stop a constant humming in the back of my head of seeing others doing more than me and having better life outcomes. I have friends and tell them about my life but they are all online.
I assume I will get to relax more once I get past the steep points of the learning curve and build more momentum. What helped you? I take Sundays off.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
Thanks, I am better now, I actually work and have some proof of that. For the past decade, I did not really work at all, Now that I do work, feels a lot better, I weigh more and can understand a good amount of code, It is not much but it is a good beginning
I do meditate and doing more of that plus keeping track of my work helps, I can sense a feeling of progress and that calms me down. Meditation is a godsend and I would appreciate tips on managing stress and becoming a better programmer and things of that sort. Stress management and proper rest should help me live a better life and work better, work more.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
I did not, I friend-zoned her as as soon as I met her as I do not sleep with traditional women and never wanted to sleep with her, I meet women and am decent at pickup lol.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
Reminds me of a roald dahl short story collection about automated stories generation, kid me never thought it would come true and I would get to study that stuff.
No lol, I have slept with women and I can sleep with them. I just do not hit on ones who are like my mom, very traditional, I do not do it because I like being friend-zoned lol, on the contrary, I am somewhat decent at pickup, I just share a bond with this girl because she is religious and I do not want to be someone who sleeps with her.
I friend-zoned her and a few other traditional conservative girls the first time we interacted because I know how much sleeping with a guy impacts them, that is just how some feel in my religion. Sleeping with girls who are really chaste is something I see as a sin, maybe I am weird. I do not have issues with those who sleep around, I just only sleep with them and not ones who are chaste.
My oneitis is a different girl altogether and even she had not friend-zoned me but I did fuck up big time with her.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
My brother and I have a tense relationship, unlike my mother and her five elder brothers. She grew up as the only daughter in the lord’s house of her ancestral village. Her youngest brother, a politician and landowner, surprised her with a visit yesterday for Raksha Bandhan, a festival where sisters tie rakhis to their brothers and receive gifts in return. He drove all night with his driver and left this morning. My mother talks to her family daily, but I failed to be a good older sibling for my only brother. He turned 19 today and we will go out for dinner to his favourite restaurant. I also had a female friend tie me a rakhi yesterday, as I have no sister or cousins here, it is a very Hindu thing so I do not think most will get what this means lol. I don’t know what to buy my brother so suggestions are welcome. We all will go out for dinner to celebrate his 19th today.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
Thanks, man. I will hopefully start, I use Bing and the free version of chatgpt so will read the paper again and start anew.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
I have only had situations where I was constantly and stressed for close to a decade now, I stopped Ssris a while back actually.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
I see this happen with my parents too, not saying that having a slightly higher BMI is good but in some sense I find your issue somewhat relatable. Hope you both lose weight. I do not think fasting or crash dieting would be good for either and losing weight is a slow process but I am sure you will be alright, my dad lost a ton without a lot of significant interventions.
P.S. Something like grappling or climbing on the regular alongside replacing sugar with zero-calorie alternatives might help. Wish you luck!
I am not doing well at all, I pulled my first 14-hour day a few days ago, it was not clean at all but I went from doing nothing to actually being somewhat better than what I thought I could be, from 0 hours per week to 40 plus. I have to implement this paper on Spectrograms and train some models (Deep learning stuff) and so far the pre-processing part has been kicking my ass and the deadline of the weekend has made me go nuts. I cannot sleep, all I think about is failing this assignment and never making it to the lab I want to work in. I do not want to work the lower paying jobs in the Indian market and wanted to pursue this Deep Learning thing full time, My undergrad got over a few weeks ago and I took the plunge. The research position pays peanuts and I would happily work for free or pay out of my own shallow pockets to work on the kind of stuff that I wish to work on but alas.
I am still working out, I am close to 157 lbs (I began at 145 and at maybe the same level of body fat percentage at 6 foot, totally untrained, still look the same though) and even did MMA for a while. Life just keeps getting worse, I see all my classmates from high school and uni lapping me and getting into great grad schools, partying, enjoying life whilst I am anxious, doing as much work as I can and still failing. My bad decisions have caught up to me but I had to take a day off totally as I was too stressed and too tired to work.
My life sounds like a broken record but the harder I try to fix these things, the more pain I feel. What if I do not get this gig and have to hear my parents and everyone I know scream at me and mock me for trying to get to grad school or trying something like research? It haunts me, I have never worked, studied or even been productive in my life and when I try my hardest I get hit with worse outcomes. My doctor diagnosed me with ulcers due to high amounts of stress and each day I hate myself more, the only reason why I do not hate myself as much as I should is that I try my hardest. Deep Learning stuff is quite fun too, I find the jupyter environment and training models way more fun than anything I ever learned in uni. Udemy and Fastai are great tools.
With no phone, no girls, no social life, no surfing as I blocked everything on my browser or any other distractions, I have been trying this for 2 weeks and can feel tired and helpless. Even really scared of posting about it here or to my friends as I am a frequent liar of sorts so it is reasonable to be skeptical Plus I am not exactly a blood relative that anyone would care beyond a point. Everyone thinks I am a fuck up who would pick garbage and see me as the village idiot. No one else will implement the paper for me and my problems are my own but I always thought that if I worked hard enough some day, I would feel proud of myself but that was fleeting as the next day I realised how much harder this thing was.
Please do not judge me, I am scared and each day I feel worse about my own life. I am sorry. I wish I were more competent but I am finally trying and I just hope that I get my break in a good lab and more importantly that I do get good at the deep learning stuff. The lab is not the main thing here, my not being good enough is and I hope I get there soon.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
Every movie has similar themes simply because that is how the world is now, you cannot have a movie that does not bow down to cultural forces of the day as movie production is such a complicated task. It took one man to write faust but something as good or as insightful can never be made again because of the process of creation being in the hands of so many with monetary and opportunity costs that no one will ever cover. Not watching movies, TV, music or even news, social media and videos made in the modern day as much as you can is the correct path forward, everything today feels the same, sterile and replaceable.
practical_romantic
8mo ago
Will watch the fights tomorrow, that is about the extant of what I will be doing lol. I cannot enjoy anything else in life as everything is so dependent on me getting the research position I want and shipping these two products in the next 6 months. Still, will watch the fights, spent last week with a fellow clan member who studies in the US, we went around town, saw all the tourist attractions. Dude makes close to 6 figures whilst working a day job, going to uni and shipping his own stuff at his startup whilst being 4 years or so younger than me. We went out to a watering hole at night too and it was amazing. Learnt a ton from him, cannot wait to watch the fights tomorrow and start work.
Also has anyone seen the movies that came out recently? Modern movies seem to be quite political so I tend to just avoid them as much as I can, latest Mission Impossible was a disappointment, Oppenheimer was great, recommend that to everyone, I do not think anyone here would much like barbie (I did not even see it given the juvenile plotline).
practical_romantic
8mo ago
On second thoughts, no need for a weekly thread.
It does not solve the root cause, same for drugs.
More options
Context Copy link