site banner

Small-Scale Question Sunday for October 23, 2022

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

5
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Do we have any Catholic mottizens? I was raised Catholic for a time, but eventually my parents left for ye olde non-denominational Protestant church. For some reason though, I've found myself attracted to the idea of returning recently. I find a few things attractive about it:

  • I have found that I kind of prefer "high church" to "low church". Not that either is better than the other, but a more formal service kind of feels like a better fit for me personally.

  • I really appreciate the tradition and longevity behind the institution, and it appeals to me to be a part of that.

  • I like the unity of the Catholic church. Not that they don't have things that divide them, but they seem to be a lot more unified than the other Christian groups are. Related to this...

  • I used to think that all the rigid formalities were stupid and arbitrary, and I hated having to just follow along. But in hindsight, I think maybe I just didn't have the perspective at 13 to appreciate the importance of them (shocker, I know). Something that Scott wrote in one of his pieces (I think it was the reactionary FAQ) has stuck out to me, where he says that if everyone jumps on one foot during the solstice that is objectively pretty stupid. But if everyone does it, that is how communities are built, because we're now fellow solstice jumpers. I feel like some (maybe even all) of the rules and formality I chafed at as a teenager are things of that nature, and I do appreciate anything that builds community in these divided times.

So I guess my question is, am I just being insane here? Or maybe waxing nostalgic for my childhood in a weird religious way? I've been thinking maybe I should investigate rejoining the Catholic church (which as I understand it would entail going to some adult classes and getting confirmed, as well as getting my marriage recognized by the church), but I also can't shake the feeling that I'm just being silly. I do want to find a church home to call my own, but I'm not sure whether or not this is the right path for me.

Hello.

The first step is start going to Catholic services, praying the rosary, etc. See if practicing Catholicism is something you want to do before starting the process. I would also recommend going to a men's group(or women's bible study if female) put on by the Catholic church in an official capacity(church websites will probably have information about this) for more locally-specific advice; most of these do not require official membership in the Catholic church to attend.

You will probably have to locate the church you were baptized into and have the church you're planning on going to classes in contact them. Be prepared for a non-trivial amount of paperwork for this step and for getting your marriage recognized in the Catholic church(which they will refer to as regularizing). It behooves you to pick rather carefully the church you take classes, get your marriage regularized through, etc, as you will be stuck with them for a while(probably about a year) during the process. In general, more conservative parishes(a local church) will be more like what you're looking for, but they will also have more expectations of following the rules quite strictly which could slow down getting your marriage regularized, especially if either of you has a previous marriage, even a common law one.

You will need to join a parish and probably plan on going to that physical location more than once per week for a year or so, so keep that in mind. You also will probably not get a good idea of what a parish is like without physically visiting. Your local diocese's(in the US this is divided up by county; the rest of the world is more complicated) website should have a tool to find parishes near you, as well as to search by service times, language options, etc. It is of course a good idea to speak with a cleric regarding your specific situation as well; you might be able to skip a step or two.

Thank you for the input, you've really helped to give me a better idea of what to expect. I also think you have a good idea to do things like going to Mass, praying the rosary, and things of that nature. Something that sticks with me is something I recall reading in the Bible when I was younger, about being able to discern things by the fruits they bear in your life. I did go to Mass a couple of weeks ago, and have been thinking I will go in the future to see if I still feel that the Catholic church may be for me.

One thing I am wondering, from the reading I've done it seems like the Catholic church is pretty insistent that you need to go to Mass every week (makes sense I suppose). My wife, at this time, has no intention of joining the Catholic church and has asked if I'd be willing to alternate, sometimes going to Mass and sometimes to a Protestant service. I am amenable to that, but do you know if that would be a problem with whatever parish I (hypothetically) chose to join?

This would be an issue, yes. The expectation would be that you go to an early morning mass and then later go to whatever church your wife attends mid-morning.

Nobody is going to hassle you for not going to mass but if you're serious about it then the rule is that you have to attend mass every Sunday and holy day of obligation unless you have a good reason for missing (usually if you're sick or in a remote location). If you skip a week you would need to go to confession before taking communion. A protestant service can't be used as a substitute for mass.

You could go to mass on Saturday evening and then go with your wife on Sunday to a protestant service.

This is all self enforced, nobody takes attendance so it comes down to how seriously you want to take things.

If he’s in RCIA then attendance might be a requirement/condition of completing the process.