site banner

Culture War Roundup for the week of October 24, 2022

This weekly roundup thread is intended for all culture war posts. 'Culture war' is vaguely defined, but it basically means controversial issues that fall along set tribal lines. Arguments over culture war issues generate a lot of heat and little light, and few deeply entrenched people ever change their minds. This thread is for voicing opinions and analyzing the state of the discussion while trying to optimize for light over heat.

Optimistically, we think that engaging with people you disagree with is worth your time, and so is being nice! Pessimistically, there are many dynamics that can lead discussions on Culture War topics to become unproductive. There's a human tendency to divide along tribal lines, praising your ingroup and vilifying your outgroup - and if you think you find it easy to criticize your ingroup, then it may be that your outgroup is not who you think it is. Extremists with opposing positions can feed off each other, highlighting each other's worst points to justify their own angry rhetoric, which becomes in turn a new example of bad behavior for the other side to highlight.

We would like to avoid these negative dynamics. Accordingly, we ask that you do not use this thread for waging the Culture War. Examples of waging the Culture War:

  • Shaming.

  • Attempting to 'build consensus' or enforce ideological conformity.

  • Making sweeping generalizations to vilify a group you dislike.

  • Recruiting for a cause.

  • Posting links that could be summarized as 'Boo outgroup!' Basically, if your content is 'Can you believe what Those People did this week?' then you should either refrain from posting, or do some very patient work to contextualize and/or steel-man the relevant viewpoint.

In general, you should argue to understand, not to win. This thread is not territory to be claimed by one group or another; indeed, the aim is to have many different viewpoints represented here. Thus, we also ask that you follow some guidelines:

  • Speak plainly. Avoid sarcasm and mockery. When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.

  • Be as precise and charitable as you can. Don't paraphrase unflatteringly.

  • Don't imply that someone said something they did not say, even if you think it follows from what they said.

  • Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.

On an ad hoc basis, the mods will try to compile a list of the best posts/comments from the previous week, posted in Quality Contribution threads and archived at /r/TheThread. You may nominate a comment for this list by clicking on 'report' at the bottom of the post and typing 'Actually a quality contribution' as the report reason.

20
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I definately do not want to imply that you or any other blue here is a pedophile. I do not believe I or @naraburns has claimed that you or any other blue here is a pedophile. I have never understood the word "groomer" to be a synonym for pedophile, and in fact it is not a synonym for pedophile. It is explicitly a term for people who violate trust in an attempt to harmfully and secretly modify children's sexuality. Up until very recently, the only people who would even dream of doing that were in fact pedophiles, but it's the abuse of trust and the clandestine modification that's being objected to, not sex with kids. If the consernation is over percieved equivocation in language, allow me to be the first to apologize.

If you and others object to this so strongly, because suddenly conversation becomes impossible if one uses terms in a specific and unambiguous way that you don't agree with, let's not allow it to interfere with our communication. Give me a word. Give me a word and I will use it. you pick the fucking word to encapsulate "a person who is motivated to grossly abuse my trust and their authority in an attempt to fuck with my child's head, damaging their sexuality and their sanity, in secret and against my expressed wishes, to a degree that makes keeping them and anyone who associates with or supports them as far away from anyone I care about as possible", and scout's honor I will use that word unfailingly from now on. I will even translate quotes from others into that word, because I sincerely believe that is the idea most of them are trying to communicate.

This offer is open to any blue here. Pick the word that you think fairly encapsulates the above concept, and you will never hear "groomer" from me again. Make it as anodyne as you like, as anodyne as possible; it will pick up all the negative affect it needs in very short order.

(8 letters or less please for convenience, please and thank you.)

This whole discussion has helpfully provided me with a great example of the right quietly redefining a word for political advantage he way the far left redefined racism. Thanks guys.

I strongly disagree. Please tell me: do you believe my art teacher telling me I should come to school in women's underwear to get in touch with my true self qualifies as grooming?

I've brought this up twice now, and nobody in the "groomer is a slur" camp has deigned to state their opinion on it. I'm curious why, when it seems like such a clear example they could build trust by reassuring people they are against it. If they are, in fact, against it.

I've brought this up twice now, and nobody in the "groomer is a slur" camp has deigned to state their opinion on it. I'm curious why, when it seems like such a clear example they could build trust by reassuring people they are against it. If they are, in fact, against it.

Are you expecting anyone to say "Yeah, that sounds fine"? Because I doubt anyone here would. Do you want a "I'm sorry that happened to you?" like you'd get from the wokes you hate (and which I personally have always thought seems pretty damned patronizing)?

People who think "groomer" is being used too broadly are not denying that groomers do in fact exist. Just like most people who object to "racist" being used as a boo-word do not generally deny that actual racists exist.

Not a single one has said that it's categorically not ok, which confirms my suspicions that people don't want accurate use of the word to catch on.

And no, I don't want anyone's sympathy; I found the whole thing hilarious rather than creepy because she didn't have any personal influence over me. But if my history teacher had suggested it I'd have just asked him what color he wanted, so I'd rather like if we could draw a bright line here for the benefit of future mes who might be tempted into doing far more harmful and permanent things than wearing a bit of lingerie for a nonce.

That we can't completely validates the entire groomer narrative in my eyes.

Not a single one has said that it's categorically not ok, which confirms my suspicions that people don't want accurate use of the word to catch on.

Look, if you want to assume that everyone who didn't respond personally to your emotive anecdote to say "That's not okay" secretly believes it's okay, I can't stop you, but you've been told by several people now why that is not, in fact, a good faith litmus test.

Several people have told us that they think a clear case of grooming a kid into weird sex shit doesn't actually count as grooming to them, which tells us all we need to know about the whole conversation.

It's just another Virginia school bathroom rape story. "I don't support that, besides it won't happen, and even if it did happen you're weird for still caring about it, yikes". Pure fucking tribal ass covering, and an absolute embarrassment to watch. The whole "groomer fragility" meme is actually true, isn't it?

Several people have told us that they think a clear case of grooming a kid into weird sex shit doesn't actually count as grooming to them, which tells us all we need to know about the whole conversation.

Please point me to the actual post in which someone said grooming a kid into weird sex shit doesn't actually count as grooming to them. I don't want to read your dishonest paraphrasing, I want to read the actual words you are claiming mean that and ask the person(s) who posted them if that is indeed what they meant.

It's just another Virginia school bathroom rape story. "I don't support that, besides it won't happen, and even if it did happen you're weird for still caring about it, yikes". Pure fucking tribal ass covering, and an absolute embarrassment to watch. The whole "groomer fragility" meme is actually true, isn't it?

I assume you are referring to @FiveHourMarathon's reply to you below.

"I don't support that, besides it won't happen, and even if it did happen you're weird for still caring about it, yikes" is not an honest characterization of what he said. The fact that you stealth-edited your comment after he replied makes it clear that you're not actually seeking authentic responses here.

Nobody here is defending grooming, or the behavior of your high school teacher.

More comments