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PaperclipPerfector  3mo ago (text post)   2993 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for April 25, 2025

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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The Shedeur Sanders slide has been very entertaining. Could even reach culture-war post worthiness if looking at the various media reactions. New Orleans is on the clock so maybe posting this jinxes it, and he finally gets taken. I was a bit surprised Vegas just passed on him at 108, with Smith being 34 years of age.

He’s a decently athletic quarterback with NFL-caliber zip on short-to-intermediate throws and very, very good accuracy. Is just a touch undersized for a guy who will need to stay in the pocket in the pros. He’s going to need to learn to play within the pocket more, and to work through his progressions much faster. But ordinarily the above is a profile that gets a quarterback taken before Day 3.

And… the Saints just passed. His interviews must have been terrible. Teams do not want to deal with the circus in exchange for a prospect without elite arm talent.

I said to my mother that this is the 20 minute mark of his future 30for30 documentary. This is the end of the beginning, superstar, ego, bright lights, and now a high profile failure.

The end of the film can be prison, or it can be the Super Bowl. The rest of the movie can be like the recent Johny Fuckin' Football doc, where he washes out of the league partying and drinking his talent away; or the rest of the movie can be his comeback story.

This will either be a narcissistic insult he never recovers from, or the kick in the teeth he needed to get his mind right.

I think draft coverage can often underplay how much destination matters.* He’s got his work cut out for him amid the mess that is Cleveland. Though, the current reporting suggests Watson has likely played his last snap for the Browns. Flacco is 40. And, if Sanders is, as his boosters suggest, much better than Gabriel, then there is as clear a path for him as any fifth round pick could hope.

*How good is Sam Darnold? I know KOC has friends in San Fran from the same coaching family-tree that spoke highly of Darnold’s growth while backing up Purdy in 2023. But Minnesota is about as ideal a situation as any quarterback could hope with Jefferson, Addison and Hockenson as it’s top three targets, an above average line, one of the best left tackles (though injury cut short Darrisaw’s season), and a head coach that ascended the quarterbacks coach->passing game coordinator->offensive coordinator ladder. Cousins looked terrible his first year removed. Interested to see how Darnold does in Seattle. With JSN’s breakout last year, Darnold has a legit no. 1. Hopefully Kupp can stay on the field. After that the targets look serviceable…

I think draft coverage can often underplay how much destination matters.

I think, conspiratorially, that such coverage becomes too grim at a certain point. When you realize that some players are being unwillingly doomed to play for a franchise that will fuck them up, it starts to feel too much like a very high end slave auction. But you're absolutely right, there's such a big difference, and so often high profile flame outs are tied to team culture. Does Johny Manziel blow off the whole NFL thing and sink into drink and drugs, if he is playing for a better team than the Browns, with a culture of success and veterans to look up to and guide him? When Aaron Hernandez went into the draft, some of his friends and family were hoping he would be drafted by ANY TEAM except New England, because they wanted him away from his Connecticut ghetto homeboys and bad habits. Late round picks like Purdy, Hurts, Brady, Prescott have to get lucky to ever get a chance; health and performance from the guys in front of them and they are career backups. Destination is everything.

That said: Cleveland is ideal for Sanders, because even more conspiratorially:

current reporting suggests Watson has likely played his last snap for the Browns.

I refuse to believe that Watson actually suffered a career ending injury. Rather, the league and the Browns and Watson came to an agreement to let Watson fake an injury, collect his checks, and the Browns are able to recoup some cap room through an insurance policy. This got Watson out of the news, and allows the Browns to begin moving forward a little earlier.

Sanders is stepping into not just a complete roster void, but a deep emotional void. Cleveland fans want someone to love, the league collectively wants the Browns to move on and resign Groper Cleveland to the memory hole, the team has a few great players who want a shot in the arm and a bit of hope. If Sanders has three good weeks in a row, he'll be front page news nationwide.

How good is Sam Darnold?

Probably about as good as Geno Smith, kind of a lateral move imho.

Rather, the league and the Browns and Watson came to an agreement to let Watson fake an injury, collect his checks, and the Browns are able to recoup some cap room through an insurance policy.

I feel like this requires a level of planning and intellect which is essentially never observed in the league.

I was literally composing a post about it, preparing to post it on Monday if the guy went undrafted, if the media meltdown about it rose to a fever pitch, if a major journalist/outlet stopped tiptoeing around and just flat-out accused NFL teams of racism, etc. Now that he got drafted in the 5th round and might actually get to legitimately compete for a starting job (including over the kid they just drafted two rounds ahead of him) I feel like there won’t be enough culture war meat on the bone to justify actually making a top-level post about it.

Even assuming he really is that good (which, to be clear, is doubtful), his father Deion Sanders has followed him as coach his whole career. There is no upside to picking him if you're the head coach of a football team. Either he sucks, or he's good and he uses his leverage to get you fired and bring in Deion.

Devil’s advocate, we’re now in the fifth round. Is that still applicable now? Teams are now picking guys with injury concerns. Guys who had unimpressive production and teams gamble if they think those players were in the wrong college offense or defense for their talent. Fifth rounders don’t really have leverage like a high draft pick does.

A fifth round QB’s slot bonus this year is $384,680 and decreases with each pick. That is a guy you can cut or trade.

He was just picked up by the Browns. Poor guy...

Hard Knocks to Cleveland? Are they eligible based on the rules? Can the NFL resist?

Dolphins as an insurance policy on Tua at 116? Nope, traded down with Houston.

Steelers at 123? Saints at 129? Raiders again at 135?

Did the Sanders family inadvertently build the first custom UDFA room, instead of a custom draft room? The hater in me finds this all delightful.

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