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naraburns  nihil supernum  1yr ago (text post)   3178 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for November 18, 2022

Be advised; this thread is not for serious in depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Some joke/facetious CW ideas. Feel free to add your own.

Patriot Visa

Should America have a "Patriot Visa?" (I mean a "Diversity Visa" already exists).

Because I am confident that no Indian or Chinese or Mexican or Guatemalan on Earth even if they study their entire lives can fake the real enthusiasm I have for The Constitution.

Reason for this? None at all. In fact there is no intuition to suggest that even the staunchest of Americophile will be a better pillar of his community or "contribute" more (taxes) than a genius third worlder who doesn't even know (in the true sense of the word, in that its not a string of letters with a meaning, but something that is not only felt in one bones, but desired) what freedom is. But just the hope that those who love America should be able to live in it.

At the very least, Those who receive it "deserve" it more than someone who gets a "Diversity Visa".

A case for White nationalism for non Caucasians.

If you hold classical liberal values (Or just not authoritarian values). It's most definitely likely that the overwhelming majority of people who do the same are white. Ofcourse its a guesswork but the ratio of people who hold said values among non-whites would be orders of magnitude smaller.

If we assume that there is some genetic component to political leanings. It's likely that the genes that encode a desire for all the "God Given Rights" are most often to be found in White people.

Thus it should be of concern to you that White people do not die out or become irrelevant in numbers to ensure the continued survival of your memetic ingroup.

Should America have a "Patriot Visa?" (I mean a "Diversity Visa" already exists).

How is that going to work? If it's moving the American Civics Test requirement from naturalization to immigration, then I expect one million Chinese, one million SE Asians, one million South Asians, one million Sub-Saharan Africans and one million MENA to apply and I bet your ass they will ace it like Apu did, even if you use the Trump's version. Five million new American patriots each year!

Hell, you could even slap the same requirement onto the existing Diversity Visa and the outcome wouldn't change one inch.

If it's not, how are you going to test for patriotism?

RETVRN TO TRADITION: Why NATO should seek to install Prince Harry and Meghan Markle on the throne of Ukraine

War is simply the continuation of political intercourse with the addition of other means. We deliberately use the phrase 'with the addition of other means' because we also want to make it clear that war in itself does not suspend political intercourse or change it into something entirely different. In essentials that intercourse continues, irrespective of the means it employs. The main lines along which military events progress, and to which they are restricted, are political lines that continue throughout the war into the subsequent peace -- Do I really have to attribute this one?

The government of Ukraine cannot end the war with Russia in a position where Russia could renew the war in the future. As the permanent neutering of Russia is impossible or inadvisable, most commentators want to provide Ukraine with some kind of security guarantee from the USA/NATO/PRC that will prevent future Russian aggression, but negotiated in some unspecified way that it isn't just adding Ukraine to NATO, which it is basically assumed Russia wouldn't accept unless, as above, Russia was permanently neutered, which, as above, is impossible or inadvisable. Another problem being that Ukraine tried that shit once already, with all nuclear powers guaranteeing the integrity of Ukraine's borders, and we've seen how much that was worth when the bullets started flying. Given that Ukraine had non-alliance security guarantees in 2014 and in 2021, it does not seem like they would successfully repel Russian aggression. So how do we tie Ukraine to the NATO powers in a way that is genuinely credible and will be viewed by Ukrainians as a binding guarantee, but isn't article 5?

Let's look at how the Concert of Europe in the 19th century handled this: Constitutional or absolute monarchy was held to be the best form of government, and when a new country was formed, they would simply install a monarch from another royal family. The monarch's had no necessary special relation to their new domain, the first king of Belgium was originally considered for the job of king of Greece, which went to another German monarch instead. King Charles and his sons are descended from the Greek royal family [through a switch in royal houses en route] on his father's side, so it's family tradition to say: Prince Harry should form a mercenary corps, join the UKR forces and take Crimea, then Harry and Meagan should be installed as Grand Prince and Grand Princess of Kiev while naming Archie as Ilkhan of Crimea and heir while engaging him to the daughter of Ukrainian General or politician.

Harry does have some military experience in combat, and he's still young enough at 38 and popular enough, that he could credibly recruit a military force of thousands of veterans from the USA, UK, Canada, and Australia to join him in this venture. I think there's still enough weird tradition to get guys from the Commonwealth countries to want to ride out with a rogue devil-may-care prince into combat. He could get the money to fund their equipment and training from his friends Oprah and Tyler Perry and by selling the TikTok rights, or the CIA could fund it covertly, whichever, just get all the money for the full shebang of western toys. Take his fully equipped brigade of western veterans, go to Ukraine, and put up a good show. I don't think Harry is actually that bright, but he could find a bored retired general to handle the actual conquering for him.

At the end of the war, like our ancestors before us, the international community gets together to name Harry and Megan Grand Prince and Princess of Kiev. Now if Russia invades again ten years from now, do you really think that the UK is going to sit idly by and watch their King's son, their heir's brother, Diana's son, get thrown out? Maybe the UK public doesn't much like Harry and Meggan, but watching a close relative get deposed is just getting cucked as a kingdom, no way Sunak lets that happen. And is the US public going to let a celebrity BIPoC diverse prince and his valid mentally suffering actress mum get tossed in the tower? No way. We often mock the 19th century Royalists obsession with installing monarchs, but this was the purpose. It tied the new country to the international community by blood. In the same way, by creating a British ginger king and a halfrican American queen, Ukraine can guarantee that the two most important countries in NATO will have their back. And we'll be free of their podcasting project.

Now this is worthy of a nRX blogpost!

Eh, as perverse as these are, I don't think the FFT is the right place.

These are too CW loaded for the FFT, at the same time too vacuous for the CW thread. I'd rather shit up the FFT than the CW thread.

I think it's unreasonable to expect a person to love a country before they even move there. Anyone who claimed that without having first hand experience would just be the American version of a weeaboo.

Americans give immigrants at least a generation to habituate. Your Irish pappy might not care about the American Flag but you still have to stand up for the pledge of alliegence every day at school, and the children are what matters in the long term.

https://genius.com/David-kincaid-the-irish-volunteer-lyrics

Your Irish great grand pappy who served in the good ol 69th has entered the chat.

Which would be the standard patriot visa, citizenship for service.

in the true sense of the word, in that its not a string of letters with a meaning, but something that is not only felt in one bones, but desired

The word for this is "grok".

Careful, that Patriot Visa might pull in a hundred million new Americans if you don't add a cap to it.

Semi-joking. I've met a handful of fellow immigrants who would probably qualify. It's amazing how Hollywood/games/books can somehow pass on certain values that hook a person on the other side of the globe. Though perhaps not so amazing when you consider how so many cultures fall on the other side of the argument about "does a citizen belong to a state?" and similar.

Twitteratti Visa - To apply, one must show proof of the ability to serve as a mook in the CW. The applicant is graded according to how much time they can spend on Twitter, how good their skills are at finding low-quality, unreplicated social-science papers that prove their point, and finally, how long (in minutes) can they sustain a righteous anger.

This is a time-limited visa for two years. If the applicant is able to earn 250k retweets, the visa can be extended for another two years. After those two years, they can apply for a Green Card, but only if at least 500 other mooks swear on the logins that the applicant has never indulged in both-sideism, logical thought, or education.

edit: It appears I hit the wrong "reply" link. Meant to reply to the OP.

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