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Anecdotally, in public I notice pairings where the guy is clearly a bit of a gymrat, good muscle definition, takes care of himself, and he's got a woman with actual physical fat rolls latched onto his arm.
And some guys are just into that. Whatever. But I think its the marginal effect of men having a harder time and the competition being stiffer.
The reverse pops up MUCH less often. Although I have seen a few petite, waifish women on the arms of some large, obese men.
And some women are into that. Whatever.
While working at an outdoor retail it was a semi-regular occurrence where I'd be chatting with a fit, outdoorsy guy and then his girlfriend would walk up, and… well, let’s just say she wouldn't be a fun belay. If she took a whipper, he’d be in for quite a ride. Fit women were usually well-matched in terms of looks. More elite guys - expert kayakers, climbers, and guides - usually had attractive girlfriends.
In everyday life, the imbalances I notice between attractive women and less attractive men often involve guys who were once "cool" but have since gained weight and lost hair. For example, a former football lineman who married a cheerleader might now seem mismatched because she has maintained her appearance better than he has. While there's an imbalance now, there wasn’t in the past.
For people that don't think this exists or thinks it goes the other way I believe they anchoring off of >0.1 percentile guys like Harvey Weinstein, who looked like a cave orc yet would have a world-class smokeshow on his arm.
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Also anecdotal but I see men who are not gymrats or muscly with extremely hot women absolutely all the time. They are reasonably fit, tall and athletic though. I'd say if you take the very most beautiful women of all, it's actually uncommon to see them with men who are on the meathead side of the athletic/strong spectrum.
Men get in shape for women, men become meatheads for themselves.
Truer words have never been said. You don't have to do that much to appeal to women. If you've got bulging pecs and veins, you're going to get a lot of compliments from other men and little else.
I knew this meme for years, but when I started lifting in earnest about a year ago, I was still quite tickled when literally the only people paying me compliments were dudes. "Arms looking thick!" "Great work on that bench PR!" "I see those biceps!"
Nary a peep from any woman, friend or otherwise.
That said, at least I can be pretty secure in the knowledge that if the guys are noticing it, then there are visible improvements that the women will notice too, even if they say nothing.
Interesting. My brother always got compliments from women by virtue of being handsome, and ever since he put on visible muscle it only increased. Rules 1 and 2 in action?
I think back when I worked out, I got maybe 3 compliments from women over 6 months for the pain.
To be fair, women just generally avoid compliments on male looks unless they're already very much into the guy. It's just too risky. What you need to look out for is staring when they think you're not looking, giggling/sheepish smile when you look at them, etc. It's probably also mediated by cultural factors I can't judge too well for India, but in general I'd say being complimented on your looks as guy would require one to be a rather extreme outlier, and a specific kind of hotness to boot (basically bishounen).
I think there's an empathy gap, men know how much effort it takes to create good results, AND how few compliments a man gets, so men are more prone to give 'em when justified.
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Looking back, I think it's important to note that he was in med school, and I expect that teenage or slightly older girls are probably more likely to openly gush about men and dish out compliments. He's also really handsome so that can't hurt.
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I saw someone recently point out that bodybuilders are rarely with conventionally 'hot' women.
It seems likely that the time commitment required for being serious about bodybuilding and the lifestyle changes for diet and such would actually make it VERY HARD to date seriously, that's time, money, and effort that takes away from your fitness goals.
And of course there's evidence that women don't find the roided-out look very appealing anyway.
A lot of bodybuilder types are actually geeks / nerds. The best example of this that comes to mind is Dr. Mike Israetel on YouTube. Watch just a few of his videos and you'll catch the sense of humor; a little too dry, heavy on puns, self-deprecating in a very cringey way. He gives out excellent lifting and nutrition advice and I do recommend him for that.
But as far as personality, charm, charisma, and "game" go, Dr. Mike reveals the truth of a lot of gym rats -- they're weirdos who just autist'd their ways to the weights.
That's why he has an Asian wife that is built like a mooring bollard.
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There's also the slight issue that Hollywood has deformed the idea of what 'natural' and 'roided out' looks like.
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