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No, I wouldn't have even pretended. I would, at worst, have sighed a bit at his puns.
To be sure. Just had to note that you hadn't actually denied the allegations =P
All the best to you if you're still on the market.
Haha, I'm now married with children. Because he kept asking me out, more than once, to interesting places, even though I turned down the initial invitation and even gift.
That's a bit tricky though.
You turned him down, even after he invested in a gift, and he kept pursuing. And I don't know what if any signals he was reading that led him to think it would succeed.
Meanwhile, the advice that men would get, both from most women and men, is you have to move on after a rejection, because continuing on is 'creepy,' or is 'simping' (ESPECIALLY the gift-giving), or maybe even straight up stalking or harassment. How many rejections is a man supposed to 'ignore'? How much should he invest before it becomes throwing good money after bad?
There is no good answer. And there's the risk of a woman actively exploiting this tendency in men to pump as much money and effort from him as possible.
This pursuit model of the man slowly, politely grinding down a woman's barriers and making increasingly enticing offers for her time and affection is one that I personally prefer. But it just doesn't work very well when women have many available options, and to continually pursue one who has already rejected you just reads as 'desperation' which is a turnoff on its own.
Simply put, why would a guy put himself through that without some reasonable expectation of success?
Yeah, most of the married people I know met their husband in a fairly small cohorts, such as a church or volunteer group (not rotating volunteers, a specific stable cohort), where that sort of thing is more likely to work out, and both parties will experience negative repercussions if they act badly.
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It used to work when you could do this in the context of socially sanctioned courtship. The man knows he isn't being played too hard because no one is having sex with the woman. Women in turn get to get more exposure to a man and test his level of interest commitment. I think it's a W for both sides. Certainly women seem to still like it today (why is Pride and Prejudice still so popular).
Yep.
I said recently:
Rejection is less likely to convert to resentment when a man is at least 'in the running' for a woman's affections. When he's one of twenty dudes, 4 of which have already banged her, and another 10 have her nudes, its like... what is the point?
A guy being tested by a woman, rising to the occasion, passing the test and earning her hand in marriage is a pretty solid cause - effect /action - reward path. Humans are persistence hunters after all.
But a guy putting in effort, getting rejection, then seeing that the Chad (whom he KNOWS has got four other women on rotation) get the prize with much less investment, well, that's going to sting, it feels personal, even if it isn't.
And of course worst is when the women CONCEALS her other paramores (as they are wont to do) so its only AFTER one man has put in tons of effort that he realizes he could have just used standard pickup artist tricks on her and gotten the sex without the emotional distress.
Having an easily legible, mutually agreeable path for successful courtship solves for all the uncertainty and makes it so much less stressful on men and women, but we've fucking THROWN OUT the rulebook.
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The core problem seems to be that the assumption is that the man is trying to immediately sleep with the woman and dump her after. So a man who’s persistent isn’t expressing how inexhaustible his passion for this particular woman is, he’s trying to wear her down so he can pump her and dump her.
Or at least that’s the fear, which leads to feelings of disgust at persistence. All it takes are a few experiences of being used and discarded to make someone put up massive guardrails. Heck, men feel terrible at being rejected and it’s easy for that to become resentment and contempt. Men (not all of them!) are perfectly willing to lie to score, and that’s a kind of rejection, too. A woman I was in love with once offered a friends with benefits arrangement when I told her how I felt about her. I felt terrible.
Dating in the courtship model only works when people can trust each other; when they’re worthy of trust. That’s broken down.
Yeah.
Fixing it doesn't depend SOLELY on reining in female promiscuity (although that's a major factor), we would need to PUNISH male promiscuity, or at least the brand of it where a guy exploits a woman's naivete and leaves her more cynical and closed off than before, because he pays no cost for it.
I'd suggest execution, but the nice compromise solution would be castration.
From "Why We Need the Double Standard" by the Dread Jim:
From the comments of "The Reactionary Program" by the same:
And from the comments of "COVID Public Service Announcement", idem:
If you execute or castrate ninety-nine fuckboys, but miss underclass fuckboy number one hundred, who has nothing to lose and whose high time preference means he does not care about the consequences, he gets to spoil a hundred nice girls.
Whereas if you lock up and marry off ninety-nine girls, but fail to control girl number one hundred, you get ninety-nine happily married wives and one fallen woman.
To end the wars of the sexes, make women property again.
Dude, I know you are a Dread Jim fan, and I think he's actually serious about what he says, but do you realize the world he proposes would be a dystopian nightmare, and not just for women? The guys who seem most attracted to Jim are not trad religious types or pro-civilization vitalists, but incels who long for a world where 13-year-old slave girls will have to pleasure them while they're on their couches playing video games. That's not what would actually happen, and the thing Jim misses is that women are always going to have some agency because we are human beings and the natural state of men and women is to, you know, like each other.
Jim is the flip side of the literal man-hating radical feminists promoting political lesbianism- they start with some (perhaps justified) grievances against the opposite sex, and go down a rabbit hole into a worldview full of misery and the destruction of everything it means to be human.
Every time I see that "Make Women Property Again" essay, I get the same vibe I do from KulakRevolt and his absurd, ahistorical rants making up some mindset about the ancients that they definitely did not have. Even in the most misogynistic cultures in the world, most men don't actually hate women as much as Jim does. To the degree that women were "property," you still saw some actual affection and respect for wives, mothers, and daughters, an affection that Jim and his fanboys seem to think is pussy and gay.
It's not good for you, man.
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Well, would you have gone out with him?
Maybe. I'm not sure. It probably wouldn't have worked out romantically.
Well, I don't know what it's like to be a woman, but when I try to imagine that situation I feel pretty turned off. Somewhere between cowardice and whining. Like he's trying to plausibly-deniably get you to initiate.
Anyway congratulations on your husband and family. WAGMI.
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