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So, I'm not sure that gay men find each other as attractive as straight men find women.
More story time: when I was younger I thought I could be gay and got really wasted one night and visited a gay bathhouse[1]. And there were men everywhere in towels making eye contact each other considering hooking up. All you had to do was meet and go to one of the many rooms nearby to fuck. And it was NYC so everyone was fairly attractive and fit. It was actually as efficient a system as it could possibly be. But something I noticed was that there was actually much, much less hooking up than you'd expect. Don't get me wrong it was a den of depravity, but men would cruise past one another for a long, long time before they found someone they wanted to actually have sex with.
I'm very sure if it was a room of half men and half women, every woman wearing a skimpy towel that was at least as fit and put together as the gay men in my bath house were, would be propositioned 5x a minute.
Gay men can be sex pigs but there's some other dimension to having sex that's clearly more complicated than
if attractive man then sex.You may be interested in the infamous Red Means No review from last year’s contest.
If those are the stats for orgies, perhaps the bathhouse was pretty competitive.
That was... something. I have been around the block a time or two, but orgies where you pretend-rape women are a tier of degeneracy I have never really seen before.
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Fair, though the median orgy has the failure mode where the average attendee is unattractively old or ugly or gives off psycho vibes.
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Can’t say I’ve been to a gay bathhouse, but I’ve been to plenty of gay clubs. Sometimes it’s to go meet a girl who’s with her gay friends, because I couldn’t talk her into ditching her friends and coming over. Sometimes it’s me who brings the group to a gay club because I’d like to shake off a gay friend or gay friends of a girl I’m trying to bang.
I’m actually way more down to meet a girl who’s at a gay club with her gay friends than at a regular club with a mixed group or just her girlfriends. Gay friends play the least defense and are the easiest to shake off.
Sometimes a girl’s straight male friends will befriend you, especially if your presence occupies a potential cockblocker—the girl you're trying to bang—in which case you all suddenly become mutual grassroots wingmen. However, sometimes straight male friends can be more hostile or territorial. Understandably so, as oftentimes they’re subsidizing the bill or splitting it with the other guys in the group. Few guys would be happy about sponsoring a girl’s night out only for her to get poached away to poundtown by some other random guy. However, there’s a limit to how overtly they’re willing to try cockblocking since they don’t want to look like a jealous cuck. They’ll eventually leave you be as they see you’re not that easily outmogged and go off on their own quest to get laid.
Girlfriends are more of a double-edged sword, more feast or famine. Girls care more about the opinions of their girlfriends than straight male friends. If girlfriends wish to try to cockblock, they’ll be way more shameless than straight male friends in doing so. They’ll stick to the girl you’re trying to bang like gum and help pester and shit-test you to death. They may even try to pressure you to pay their bill. Girls don't have the burden of performance that guys do and girls have automatic social currency that guys don't, so girlfriends can throw hissy fits and manufacture drama to cockblock you in a way that would be social kamikaze for a straight male friend. On the other hand, if girlfriends are flirty with you, it can skyrocket the girl you’re trying to bang’s attraction toward you thanks to female mate-choice copying. Additionally, the girl will then be more willing to leave with you to get you away from her friends.
But yeah, I too have Noticed that the vibes of gay clubs tend be to tamer and less horny than what straight men might have in their heads as a stereotype. I’ve chalked it up to gay men having more of an abundance mentality than straight men.
For a straight guy, if he doesn’t strike while the iron is hot with a given girl, who knows when the next opportunity might come with a new girl. For a gay guy, the next nut with a new man is always around the corner. The gay guy is also more likely to have recently gotten laid, perhaps earlier that same day or night. He might still be recharging, still in the refractory period from his last romp.
The sense of urgency is different between straight and gay men. It’s always two-minutes-left-in-the-4th-needing-a-touchdown for a straight guy trying to seal the deal with a chick he hasn’t banged yet. For a gay guy, it’s always pre-game warmups.
Being a gay man is like a superpower. Operating under a permanent state of post-nut clarity if you so choose, but otherwise still having the mental hardware of a man—plus the time, money, energy, and headache saved from not having to deal with women in sexual/relationship contexts.
It's a plausible theory, but why go to a gay bath house if you have post-nut clarity? They're not even bath houses in the traditional sense. You'd hate to just chill out there if you're not trying to get laid.
A gay bar or gay club is still fun even if you're straight and not horny. A gay bath house is not.
Speculating off your description of the NYC bathhouse you attended and my background vibe:
Even gay clubs, including those in NYC, generally aren't open 24/7 (much less having a decent crowd 24/7). Why not just chill out at a gay bathhouse on occasion in your free time? If some guy catches your fancy while you're chilling, you have the option of flagging him down for a session in one of the side rooms. If not, not a big deal, there's always some other day.
I meant "bath house" is doing a lot of work. They're not, like, a sauna and a hot tub and other spa things. This one was just a shower area and also hallways to rooms. No real place to chill.
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I can only encourage self-discovery.
Now, you have to remember that gay men are satiated! The regularity with which Genghis Khan fucks his bountiful and bodacious harem might start off strong, but will inevitably taper due to boredom. On the other hand, if you suddenly gained access to the lady's quarters, you'd spray seed while the sun shines, or some other incredibly mixed metaphor.
This is a rare occurrence. Fit gay men can go to a bathhouse whenever they feel like it. Hetero men in the former scenario would make the most of it with a scarcity mindset, gay men might well be bored and there just to do something more interesting than rubbing one out.
Same reply as for @Sloot
https://www.themotte.org/post/3442/culture-war-roundup-for-the-week/398788?context=8#context
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