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Friday Fun Thread for February 13, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Paging @Closedshop.

I decided I need a cologne. My problem is, I hate so many basic scents I have no idea what to look for. To be more specific:

  • I hate vetiver. My wife uses essential oil of vetiver for medicinal purposes, and it smells like someone poured water on a burning birch log.
  • I hate patchouli. My wife had both Messe de Minuit and Patchouly by Etro, and they smelled like a damp, musty, mildewy cellar.
  • I hate... I don't know what's inside Pot Pourri by Santa Maria Novella, but it smells like healthcare. Like some 19th century ointment.
  • UPD Turns out there was a full bottle of Penhaligon's Racquets Formula in my wife's perfume closet that my mom got me a long time ago, and... I hate it as well.

Practically everything from your post features either patchouli or vetiver. I have no idea where to start if I can't stand either of them.

Smells I like: sea, pines (and conifers in general), pipe tobacco, coffee, citrus, chocolate, cherry, vanilla, rain, wild mushrooms, leather.

Why do you want cologne? The best smell is no smell, just be clean. I’ve never once had someone walk by me surrounded by a miasma of perfume and thought to myself “How wonderful! How intoxicating!”

@Rov_Scam @TowardsPanna @SubstantialFrivolity

Sorry CHUD,

•You WILL choke on a cloud of my generously applied Drakkar Noir cologne

•You WILL be blinded by the glare of my 10mm gold Cuban chain

•You WILL cope, seethe and dilate in jealousy at my forty-thousand dollar Rolex

•You WILL purchase a reasonably priced certified pre-owned European import sports car from my automotive dealership, subject to in-house financing options

And you will be happy

You WILL be blinded by the glare of my 10mm gold Cuban chain

I love the term because whenever I see one, I just picture it on an old Miami Cuban dude in a straw fedora and a linen shirt.