site banner
PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   3217 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for March 22, 2026

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

4
Top Bottom Old Controversial Comments
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I doubt anyone else will offer this advice, but here it goes. He should approach this like a man would have approached it for all of human history until like the the last 10 minutes. Find a woman, have a family, and whack off to your gay porn/golden shower fantasies in the actual shower every morning.

The modern approach to homosexuality is so incredibly self indulgent. Maybe the thought of wife and kids is horrific to a young gay man. But consider the alternative - ending up an old queen, alone, no legacy, dwindling family.

The idea that one needs to orient their entire life around a sexual preference is disordered - no matter what that preference is.

I hear there are effective treatments these days too. CBT and/or Jesus.

I mean all of this sincerely. There’s likely no one else offering this advice.

I don't really resent your advice, though I strongly disagree with it. Besides, my brother wants a longterm monogamous partner, and wants biological kids to raise together (he even mentioned recent advances in producing viable ova from male sperm, which I've heard of, but will likely take half a decade before becoming available to the public). I would be very sad if he didn't have his own kids, and if he's willing to, then I don't particularly care if he's sleeping with men or women.

The idea that one needs to orient their entire life around a sexual preference is disordered - no matter what that preference is.

Do you extend this to straight men and women clearly organizing their lives around their sexual preferences, or is it only a problem when it's not "normal"? What do you think heterosexual dating, marriage and family formation is, if not?

I'd assume that for most of history, most men did orient their entire lives around their sexual preference. Regardless of how "disordered" it is to want to fuck your wife and marry her for that purpose.

Why should a woman marry him? What's in it for her, from her point of view?

Presumably financial and familial support outside of sex and romance.

A lot of women won't get the latter in any case.

I imagine it's one thing to be married as a woman to a man you're not sexually attracted to, but it's entirely something else to be married to one who is not, and is incapable of being sexually attracted to you. I'm guessing most women would opt to remain single than to sign up for the latter.

I agree that most women would prefer not to have that, but in the grainy truth of reality, I know women with worse marriages than that, who would do well to trade their current husbands who don't have sex with them for a rich gay husband who doesn't have sex with them.

At any rate, when I ran a straw poll the most common number of marriageable prospects reported by Mottizens was 1 or 2. (Reinforcing that I am some mix of immensely lucky and a slut with low standards) He only needs to find one woman into the idea out of the whole vast universe of people.

Most women? Yes. But as I've speculated down thread, my brother gets enough female attention that there are almost certainly going to be women who would still ask for marriage and hope for kids. Maybe most of them might be a tad optimistic, or less charitably, outright delusional, but there's a reason psychiatrists stay in gainful employment. (I am not nearly as handsome and live in a different country with no solid plans for return, but all else being the same, my parents still regularly have to field marriage proposals on my behalf.)

And that is restricting myself to heterosexual women, God knows that if he did express a willingness to have a lavender marriage, there would be plenty of market demand. I don't think that's a bad option, at least if every party is on board and fully informed.

He's a handsome man with a decent amount of money, and also about to become a doctor. I don't know how many women would still pursue him if he came out as gay, but I suspect the number is non-zero. Straight men do chase lesbians too, and even more gay men have a thing for trying to "convert" straight men. It's even a meme that there are bi/gay men pretending to be straight on Grindr to attract attention.

Straight men do chase lesbians too, and even more gay men have a thing for trying to "convert" straight men.

For/Into marriage? With children? Because this is what OP was describing.

I have some very bad or very good news for you about the entire kink of orientation play.

Yes. It can and does happen.

Out of curiosity, I asked Claude, and here's a link to it's reply.

https://rentry.co/iwp599d4

ChatGPT:

https://chatgpt.com/share/69c167d0-f6b0-800b-a861-551b7be7be49

TLDR: there's a lot of denial about homosexuality, and a wealthy handsome doctor from a good family is a catch so appealing that plenty of women will ignore the fact that he's gay (even if they might end up regretting that decision later). Claude is more confident than I am, but I think both of us are directionally correct.

What is this place?

This website is a place for people who want to move past shady thinking and test their ideas in a court of people who don't all share the same biases. Our goal is to optimize for light, not heat; this is a group effort, and all commentators are asked to do their part.

The weekly Culture War threads host the most controversial topics and are the most visible aspect of The Motte. However, many other topics are appropriate here. We encourage people to post anything related to science, politics, or philosophy; if in doubt, post!

Check out The Vault for an archive of old quality posts. You are encouraged to crosspost these elsewhere.


Why are you called The Motte?

A motte is a stone keep on a raised earthwork common in early medieval fortifications. More pertinently, it's an element in a rhetorical move called a "Motte-and-Bailey", originally identified by philosopher Nicholas Shackel. It describes the tendency in discourse for people to move from a controversial but high value claim to a defensible but less exciting one upon any resistance to the former. He likens this to the medieval fortification, where a desirable land (the bailey) is abandoned when in danger for the more easily defended motte. In Shackel's words, "The Motte represents the defensible but undesired propositions to which one retreats when hard pressed."

On The Motte, always attempt to remain inside your defensible territory, even if you are not being pressed.


New post guidelines

If you're posting something that isn't related to the culture war, we encourage you to post a thread for it. A submission statement is highly appreciated, but isn't necessary for text posts or links to largely-text posts such as blogs or news articles; if we're unsure of the value of your post, we might remove it until you add a submission statement. A submission statement is required for non-text sources (videos, podcasts, images).

Culture war posts go in the culture war thread; all links must either include a submission statement or significant commentary. Bare links without those will be removed.

If in doubt, please post it!


Rules


Recommended Posts And Communities

Recommended Realtime Chats