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PaperclipPerfector  2d ago (text post)   1159 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for May 8, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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You sound slightly amenable to conversion, actually. If you could turn off the logical brain at-will, and saw some good incentives (a few buxom wives) I'd think you'd convert just for the big, beautiful benefits.

I deeply deeply hate human pop-up ads, especially when they're trading on the illusion of female attention.

Human pop-up ads is a great way to describe it. At least the LDS chicks approaching self_made_human sound like good sports, although overly persistent.

A few weeks ago I went to go pickup some goyslop; a few meters outside of the restaurant at a portable table sat an older lady and standing in front of the table was a young attractive woman. Me being genre savvy, I was prepared when I came out of the restaurant and the young woman followed me to give me a pitch for some cause or another. I didn't break stride while I looked at her, said "no thanks," and just kept walking away. She made a massive pouty stank face and didn't even give a token courtesy goodbye like "no problem, have a good day!", as if it were an affront to her Wonderfulness that I wasn't so enamored by her attention as to stop, listen further, and become a paypig.

When I was younger and less thot-fatigued I used to try variations of "no thanks, but I'll take your number though" in such situations. I did get some digits that way but never did manage to advance on those beyond the exchanging-texts-stage from there. Nowadays it's just its_all_so_tiresome.jpg.

By this point I have an immediate avoidance reaction whenever a woman goes out of her way to interact with me, because it's almost always ultimately some kind of grift or ploy.

I was the paypig about 16 years ago to the tune of $20, from some young girl canvassing donations for natural disaster relief. Got me good, wasn't prepared at all.

Slight amenable is generous, and I must note that the logical/empirical part of my brain does not switch off easy. Not even when I actively try. Maybe a proper night out with the lads might lead to a blackout and then waking up with at the aisle with a standard issue Mormon wife, but I'd probably run from the altar. I can't handle the divorce man, I ain't got much to lose.

And pretty sure the Scottish Mormons are... disapproving of polygamy. I don't think there's a DailyMail article about it, which is the minimum standard for reporting on the lurid and unusual. A single blonde wife? Who'll get mad if I drink coffee? Goddammit. Not quite sold. My immortal soul goes to the highest bidder.

Just need to start your own fundamentalist Mormon cult to get those extra Scottish wives. Lure those missionaries in and convince them coffee and polygamy and definitely no divorce are your newest revelations. You might need to write a newer new testament, but that seems within your ability.

Either they stop bothering you permanently lest they fall into heresy, or you have yourself the beginning of a very nice life. You did say that these women approached you freely.

Unfortunately, you will definitely be the subject of a DailyMail article if you can seduce these women, but alas, that is the price of success.

"Indian man changes his name to David Joseph Smith and claims new revelation! Local community aghast, new figures reveal cults on the rise..."

Just need to start your own fundamentalist Mormon cult to get those extra Scottish wives. Lure those missionaries in and convince them coffee and polygamy and definitely no divorce are your newest revelations.

This plan worked out well for the FLDS for a number of decades, but the wheels have come off in the past 10 years.

He only needs to steer clear of making daughter-wives and human trafficking and he should be in the clear.

Also has to avoid the widespread welfare fraud the feds used to pursue a bunch of the FLDS.

If the FLDS hadn't abused it with their own stores and letting their families go hungry, it would have been perfectly legitimate. Nothing illegal about the plural wives claiming welfare otherwise.

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