Since a lot of us here have expressed interest in not starving to death in a gutter, I figured I'd start a weekly thread to discuss financial matters.
Ground Rules
- Remember that we're all just Internet randos. Don't bet your life savings on a hot tip from this thread.
- Keep culture war in the culture war thread. Yes, global events may impact our personal finances, but that does not mean we have to incessantly harp on culture war aspects here. If you are going to discuss it, please stick to the practical impacts of it on an individual level.
- Be kind. Remember that everyone here comes from different circumstances. We all have different resources available and different risk tolerances.
- Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Better is better. Celebrate people when they take a step up and work to move their finances in the right direction. Don't flame out because they haven't followed what you consider the optimal path. Everybody has to start somewhere.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Interpersonal finance question: how do y'all reconcile different finance/investing approaches when married?
Luckily, my wife and I don't have differing consumption habits; our main line items are taxes and our mortgage, and beyond that it's probably under $2k/month in expenses. But what we do with the remaining money is quite different. She's a balanced portfolio type; I'm more of a... adventurous type, though we both consider ourselves Bogleheads.
We reach compromises; e.g. recently I agreed to her requests for a $60k emergency fund, while before I kept as near $0 in cash as possible (her preference is $100k). Most of the compromises lean her way, though. At the same time, I've been planning to deleverage anyway as I draw closer to retirement, so it's not a big deal. But other situations have led to conflicts. E.g. we both have family members who want money; she sees familial handouts as a way to make life smoother, I see them as throwing away money to enable bad patterns.
Meeting halfway, or near enough, has worked fine for us. And most financial conflicts dissipate into irrelevance if you have money (so, maybe the generic solution to financial issues is to have money). But do you have a different approach?
Generally I make all the decisions, in so far as spending/saving is a decision. Lately it hasn't felt like much a decision, with multiple random and unpredictable 4 figure bills falling out of the fucking sky each month this year. Mostly been treading water month to month through major mechanical, home and health related bills.
That said, the savings are generally "my" savings in that I've allocated and managed them. I've managed some of my wife's money from before we were married, or come up with plans about what she should do with it aside from leaving it in a savings account forever. But she's hyper risk averse, so it's unlikely to ever move. At least I got her to move it from a 0.01% "savings" account to a "high yield" account 10 years ago. Even that nearly gave her a panic attack.
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Financial disagreements is the predominant reason leading to divorce. I would even argue that most other relationship problems can be helped by being more wealthy. But anyway. You two seem to have good communication. Maybe throw some videos from “I Will Teach You To Be Rich” her way. I do think trying to live a rich life is more sensible than just hoarding wealth. That guy also specializes in the niche of financial advice for couples, and navigating all the relationship issues when it comes to money. I’m not sure if 60k in emergency fund is low or high for you but 100k is a lot when compared to my own situation (engineer couple in NYC). It seems like your wife has some deep rooted fears or pathologies when it comes to money that makes her want such a high emergency fund. On the other hand, you have the other extreme, what is your reasoning for wanting $0 in emergency fund cash? Is there something you’re not noticing about your relationship with money as well?
One caveat on the 100k emergency fund thing, if you guys have really high annual spend, and I’m talking like 200k and above here, then 100k makes total sense as that’s only 6 months of spend.
Only if that's 200k of required spend (e.g. rent). If you're spending 200k due to taking three luxury cruises a year, it's probably okay to not factor that into your emergency buffer.
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