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All he did was verbalize a reasonable request. If he’d made a physical move, it would have amounted to the same thing, except it might have worked. He gets shit for choosing the most innocuous option available, speech.
You serve him the ‘freedom of speech is not freedom from consequences’ hogwash. “This is sad”, indeed. Take responsibility for the punishment instead of delegating it to the passive machinery of consequences. People decided to punish him. Should he be punished for such a crime?
You think asking a female classmate "Hey, wanna be my fuck buddy?" is a reasonable request?
I'm not sure what you mean by "physical move" here. The only thing I can think of is pretty uncharitable - surely, you're not suggesting he should have just grabbed her?
You know, sometimes that's actually true. If I approach a woman and say "Hi, wanna fuck?" I am not breaking any laws, but I am certainly committing an egregious faux pas and should expect consequences for that.
Yes. Not literally, since it's not literally a crime. But yes, if you fuck up socially, you get punished socially.
Do you think it should be socially acceptable for men to just straight up ask women for sex without fear of women finding that creepy?
Is it a reasonable request for gays and lesbians?
No, I do not mean rape her over her screams, friend. Of course I mean officially approved infinitesimal physical escalation, like gradually maintaining eye contact for a femtosecond longer than usual, lightly blowing in her direction when she's not looking, sitting one hair closer to her, brushing against her clothed arm for a planck time, and so on, over the course of a lifetime. Or he could just try to kiss her.
Still too passive. We both know his judges will be women. Will you join them in shunning him (say, if you were both regulars at a sports club), or are you just passively accepting their judgment?
Yeah, not worthy of punishment at all. I'd go further though. I think from a pro-social view it reflects well on his character, though not on his smarts and social skills (not that I think it's 'unbelievably stupid' either. What's with the hyperbole, jesus).
I don't know. Supposing it is, how would that make it reasonable for straight guys?
I suppose that could work, but that presumes some level of game which our OP clearly did not have in the first place.
I wouldn't "shun" him, but I'd agree with them that that's creepy behavior and if he asked me, I'd tell him "What the hell were you thinking?"
How about "believably stupid" then?
No, I don't think it reflects well on anyone's character to go around asking for no-strings-attached sex and expect that no one will react negatively to that.
The universality of the human condition, I guess. If I consider it unjustified to act a certain way in one situation, changing one minor parameter should not change my opinion. Take one's own experience: I find it difficult to think of an analoguous situation where I would react with such pettyness. Eg, if my male friend confesses he's gay and proposes to have sex with me, it's going to make the friendship weird for a while to say the least, but shunning him and telling everyone he's a piece of shit? Unjustified.
Sure, because a straight guy being propositioned by gay friend is embarassing for both parties. Even if you shunned him you wouldn't want to tell anyone about it because doing so would harm you as much as him. The same doesn't apply with men and women.
Turning down gay sex doesn't harm you, you should absolutely let women you want to sleep with find out - an open invitation to have sex makes you more sexually desirable through peer pressure and fomo mechanics, even from a gay guy to a straight guy. You might take a hit to your status with guys, but not much of one these days.
I've heard from some women that a bi man or a straight man who has had sex with men is less attractive to them than one who hasn't had sex with men, all else being equal. Obviously the opposite tends not to be true for women who've had sex with women. A gay man propositioning you is obviously different from having sex with you, but I wonder if there would be some effect here in the same direction. I never delved deeply into why these women felt this way about men who had sex with men, so I have little clue on the underlying mechanism.
Presumably that since it's easier to have gay sex than seducing women, men who chose to have gay sex over seducing women did so out of desperation.
Conversely, women are more attracted to men who have a history of seducing women.
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