Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.
Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Could you please share some anecdotes from your lives of successfully asking people out?
For context: there's a girl I really like in my small group from church. This group is going to stop meeting at the end of the month, after which I'd only see her occasionally unless I make it happen otherwise. So I'm going to give it a shot; I can't die wondering what might have been, I know I have to at least try. She and I have a pretty good relationship, which includes an interesting kind of bantering back-and-forth, and we've had some nice conversations in odd occasional moments; I already have her phone number, and we've been inside each other's residences. But we've never spent time together one on one, and I've not expressed my romantic feelings for her.
It's strange for me to be posting this, in that I actually have asked girls out before. Indeed I've done it lots of times, and had success on enough occasions that I know I could possibly succeed again. I've had several relationships; I am sure if I put my mind to it, I can think of some fun way we can spend time together such that, if she actually says yes, we may have a good time. I'm pretty weird-looking tbh but that's never really stopped me before. As Red Green put it, "If they don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy." I'm pretty handy. Or something.
I'm just really psyching myself about it. She and I are both in that late-20s/early-30s stage of life where, at least for me, actually forming an emotional connection to someone before asking them out has become kind of uncommon - that's something I remember from middle/high school, before the adult world of swiping on apps. I'm scared, because it is scary! I really want to not fuck it up - even if she says no, which to my mind is the most likely outcome, I am determined to at least make my best effort and give a good account of myself. So - if anyone can tell me about a time where things did work out for you, it would be most helpful, if only to put some positive images in my mind. Any other advice, pep talk, etc. is also welcome.
I've got several cutesy anecdotes I share with people about how I met my current girlfriend (and exes, when appropriate), but they're all incredibly long and I can't be arsed to reproduce them here. I think if you dredge back several months, maybe like 6 or so, you can find me mooning over her.
That being said, I'm no looker, but I am quite tall and funny. Turns out having a good sense of humor is a great means of flirtation, as some wag on Twitter said, the reason ugly comedians end up landing hot chicks is because the more you make 'em laugh, the less time they spend with their eyes open.
Or as I'd put it, they let me hit cause I'm goofy.
I have no doubt you’re a fun, funny dude irl, but “tall” might doing most of the work here.
It’s basically a meme at this point that women—consciously or subconciously—downplay the importance of height and oversell the importance of other characteristics to look/feel more wonderful. “What attracted me to my boyfriend is his sense of humor and him being a great listener. It just so happens that he’s 6’3”! Teehee.”
It's not like I can separate the two, so your guess is as good as mine!
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link