The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
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If you had to construct a curriculum of developing radical self-reliance and independence as an adult, what would it look like? Think: the Jeffersonian ideal of the Democratic citizen, someone with the bravery to speak up, spontaneity, a great deal of flexibility, a love of free play and exploration, and competence in a variety of disciplines.
The curriculum would need to be gradual, in my opinion, gentle even, to establish new habits to displace those cultivated through years of compulsory schooling and hierarchy in the work force. It would also likely need to ultimately be multifaceted, taking on e.g personal spirituality and financial independence at the same time.
Take command of something, anything. The Jeffersonian man was meant to be a leader, if not of the polity of his family (or slaves as the case may be).
Become a Boy Scout Troop Leader, teach youth group at your church or start a charity event there. Start a small side business with part time employees, or a hobby sports team. Hell, just throw parties.
In my mind, building the perfect citizen means building someone who can both obey orders and give them, and it is impossible to learn the one properly without the other. The Great Chain of Being is often philosophically skewered, but I think it is a valid worldview in so many ways adhering to both advancing human quality and human happiness.
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I mean honestly, I’d suggest regular camping trips (for a week or more, and not bringing modern equipment with you, (except maybe a cellphone in case of a need for rescue)). It will force you to learn to be independent because you can’t just pop over to Piggly Wiggly if you run out of something. You need to learn to get for yourself and do for yourself if you want the thing done at all. You’ll also learn to do free play simply because the standard video game and internet won’t be there, so you’ll be doing for yourself.
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IMO this would look like a slow increase of freedom and responsibility. Most natural types of freedom by nature force you to be more responsible. For example, if you're your own boss, you need to set your own hours and decide for yourself when enough work has been done.
I think modern jobs train us to be irresponsible. Do the bare minimum and go home. Don't change anything, even if it would improve things drastically, because that's against policy. Don't solve problems or do others' jobs because you will not reap the rewards of your labors.
Same with "modern" relationships--If you are not long-term committed I think you are less responsible for the ultimate fate of the relationship.
So at its most basic I think the way to become more free, self-reliant, and independent would be to get a self-directed job and start a family.
Reading materials and other strategies are also helpful I'm sure.
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What if it was radical rather than gradual? Why leave triggers for old habits around while you're trying to break them? I suggest instead a series of larger jumps.
Sure! Radical works, I was merely trying to provide some shape for an answer, not necessarily to scope any suggestions to my own biases on change management.
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