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PaperclipPerfector  6mo ago (text post)   2228 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for October 20, 2023

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Not fun but...

Im turning 26 soon and am single. I dont think that might change very soon.

I got a mini heart attack though when I realized that time is ticking and the pool will only get smaller geometrically from now onwards.

I have strong career growth and earn more than most my age. But as most men in tech know, this doesnt help as much as we'd like.

Do I continue panicking and start taking drastic measures? (Like moving to a different countries or whatever,I live in a particularly bad one in terms of m:f ratio)

My biggest hurdle is a lack of venues to meet women at. Work and friends wont help.

https://optimizeddating.substack.com/

There's a discord server too, and it overlaps with the rat sphere quite a bit.

Do you want children? I was in a similar position as you and found my wife in my 30s and it's working out pretty great, but parenthood was never a major goal of mine. The thought of raising a child in my forties is absolutely exhausting: you have time, and biologically your sperm will be fine for a long while, but I do strongly suggest having kids sooner rather than later if it's a goal. You won't have issues finding a partner who wants and is capable of having kids when you're 40, but your energy levels will have dropped precipitously.

Where do you live? If it's a tech-heavy West Coast city, I do think moving to NYC is a pretty good piece of advice, something that I wish I'd done. Plenty of jobs there, and the ratio is significantly better by all accounts. And there's more variation among the men there: in your niche, you're less likely to be drowned out by other men for women who are into that niche. I'd recommend against a developing country move: you'll have your pick of partners, but the cultural and gender expectation gaps are huge.

Im turning 26 soon and am single. I dont think that might change very soon.

I got a mini heart attack though when I realized that time is ticking and the pool will only get smaller geometrically from now onwards.

I have nothing in particular to recommend for or against any particular action, but dude, time is not really ticking, your pool isn't getting smaller geometrically, unless you have some very strong personal preference for marrying someone precisely your age or older.

If I recall your vague personal details correctly, you are professionally successful, you work out and eat right and take care of yourself, you have a good relationship with your family, I know from interacting with you that you are clever and can carry an interesting conversation on a variety of topics.. 26 isn't the cliff, it's the very start of your peak. You are just entering the years when women from 20-30 will all find you relatively hot and relatively relatable, when you will have actual accomplishments to show rather than just potential, when you can strike out on your own and do something great. At the very least, you have six-ish years before you start to be concerned in terms of a shrinking dating pool.

This is the best time to date in your life, tbh. If you want to make drastic lifestyle changes to improve your odds, it will just improve them further.

I was in a similar place and eventually met my now-wife online in my mid 30s.

Depends what your problem is. Do you not meet women at all? Do women on dating apps never respond? Do you never get past a first date?

Personally I got fucking jacked. That got me at least a date a week from online dating circa 2007-2010, ending when I met my wife. But god damned if online dating hasn't completely changed since then. All the same, rule number one is probably still "be attractive". Rule number two is probably still "don't be unattractive".

Getting in crazy good shape definitely went to my head though. Although truth be told, it's probably 50/50 whether being an arrogant asshole helped me or hurt me. Probably highly situational.

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