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Friday Fun Thread for October 27, 2023

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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A coworker from our London office visited last week and I flubbed the greeting. He did the British "You all right?" and I completely panicked. I said yeah thanks and quickly walked past to my desk. I don't know why it's such a disorienting way to say hello, or why it's so popular over there.

...what's the appropriate response?

edit: like your coworker, i'm getting some mixed signals here

"I'm well, thanks, how are you?"

"I'm fucking great 'mate', why, do you want to start something? Is this area of the office your little fiefdom? Do you want to see my papers? Do I need a fucking passport to walk past your cubicle?"

Alternatively "S'alright!" in a falsetto Spanish accent.

Textbook fluent native is:
"Alright?"
"Alright?"

It's like "what's up?". It could be interpreted as a sincere question if you're not familiar with it as a greeting but the context typically indicates that they're not making a genuine query.

“Fine thanks, yeah”

This is not actually wrong/rude, especially coming from an American, but still unusual and the norm would be to answer it without answering the question and just giving another general greeting like 'morning' or whatever, or most commonly as someone else your own 'alright'?

"Never ask me that again unless I'm bleeding to death."