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PaperclipPerfector  7mo ago (text post)   4126 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for November 5, 2023

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[Epistemic status - totally conjecturing] Has anyone else noticed that women these days refers to their husbands as their "best friends"? I hear it in every wedding vow I've heard from the millennial generation. Was this the case before our generation? Is this the case in more conservative places? I guess I always felt like this is emblematic of marriage becoming less religious and less sacred (i.e. it's just a fun thing I'm doing with my best friend as opposed to a sacred vow I undertake in the eyes of God). Also women are married to the state to such a degree that they don't need men anymore, so marriage has just been relegated to "just for funsies!"

Alternatively, maybe everyone's always referred to their SO as their best friend throughout history, and I'm just wildly projecting.

I have seen a huge uptick in this, but not just from women.

Time will tell if this is a dumb millennial thing, but I do see the value in tying yourself to someone you genuinely enjoy hanging out with. I feel like a lot of boomer marriages seem profoundly un-fun, with no shared hobbies or sense of humor.

People say men and women can't be friends. I disagree with that personally. I think it's important for a partner.

Then again on the downside it can be used as an excuse to just hang out with your significant other and nobody else indefinitely.

People say men and women can't be friends.

I believe the actual claim is that men and women can’t be just friends. So, it is indeed possible for a man and a woman to develop a close friendship, but only if they’re attracted to each other, at which point that friendship will either escalate to a relationship, or fall apart when one party (usually the woman) romantically rejects the other party.

So, it is indeed possible for a man and a woman to develop a close friendship, but only if they’re attracted to each other...

We're clearly all operating off of different assumptions, because I would have said that maintaining male-female relationships is much easier when the guy isn't attracted to the woman.

I disagree with even that. I wouldn't be happy only talking to men-as-friends in my life. I still try to curate and maintain relationships with women, most of which have no attraction component either direction (or low enough level to be totally unremarkable)

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