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PaperclipPerfector  3mo ago (text post)   3116 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for January 12, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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I absolutely love port wine. Cabarnets and other dry reds are okay, but damnit port is in a league of its own.

I’m not sure if there are many wine drinkers here, but if so, what is your favorite vintage?

I put down a bottle when 2011 was so universally praised. Hoping to open it up to celebrate my retirement in a couple decades. So this is my favorite vintage, even though I've never had even a taste.

Personally I love burgundy reds, but try to be varied in the bottles I'll be drinking within the year.

I’m, quite literally, a wine expert. A paid wine professional.

I fucking love port, in the wine world it’s very much that bell curve / midwit meme where wine noobs love it because it’s sweet, midwits over correct against sweet wine because so much of it is trash, and certified wine geeks and fanatics circle back to it and have no choice but to admit how awesome it is.

Because of the blending involved and the fortification process it’s not as subject to as much vintage variation as a typical dry wine, so honestly just go crazy on the vintages. Most of them are certified bangers.

I highly recommend Churchill’s, that’s my go-to port producer. All things being equal they have longer fermentation than the big houses which means less residual sugar and less Brandy needed to get to the required alcohol by volume. So it’s less syrupy, less hot, and much fresher.

It’s still sweet but you can dome an entire 6oz glass without getting a tummy ache.

If you have a child and are of means, the old tradition was to get a lion’s head cask of the vintage of your children’s birth year and sit on it until they’re 18 or 21, and give it as a birthday present. I’m too poor to do that but if you have the money, space, patience and storage ability (needs to be in a cool place) to buy several cases of vintage port to keep for your kid, it’s an awesome tradition.

My parents received a bottle of expensive whisky when I was born, and left it in a closet. Well, it's been over two decades, but your guess is as good as mine if it's going to be drinkable considering Indian temperature and humidity.

Whiskey is completely bottle stable, and doesn’t develop in the bottle over time so any time is a good time to drink it.

I am agnostic about wine. Or at least skeptical that the expensive ones are any better than mid market, until you go down to boxed-wine territory. When I drink the local fancy wine (by Indian standards), I feel profundly cheated. How the hell was that worth the salary for a day or two? Then again, I drink to get drunk, and my preferred vintage of liquor is Ethanol Factory 2022, with added flavoring to keep the kick down.

Funny story, we bought mulled wine from ASDA and drank it as was, only discovering a bit later that you were supposed to mull it over a fire, or at least warm it up. Still tasted pretty sweet! Literally and otherwise.

Or maybe the time I didn't realize that orange cordial was not orange juice and was deeply confused as to why it was so strong.

Even for a heavily Westernized Indian who rejects his native land, culture shock can hit you, not that it hit me very hard.

Good wines may be had at $15, great ones at $30 and truly excellent ones at $60. It’s fun to spend more, and a few regions are (sometimes much) more expensive than that price range. But that’s a luxury, good wine is not expensive.

I appreciate the advice, but I studiously refrain from inculcating more taste than I have, it's an expensive hobby.

Vodka gussied up with soda, juice and other mysterious mixological magic? Good enough for me. Or $3 bottles of beer will do.

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