site banner
PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   2892 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for March 15, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

2
Top Bottom Old Controversial Comments
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Can someone explain to me: engagement rings, wedding rings, and wedding bands?

In the normal course of events, how many total rings are involved? Which ones are meant to have big gems on them, and which ones aren't?

Are there some sort of trends in what they're made of, what gems are common to use, etc.? (I've only ever heard of diamond, but I really don't know.)

I guess following on from that: is it really a common action to do the one-knee, surprise, "Will you marry me?" thing? Would you or did you do this? If you are the recipient of a wedding proposal, how would you want that to happen?

Thanks @gattsuru for reposting my prior screed on engagement rings so I don't have to.

Additional answers:

I proposed in a fake surprise down on one knee way. She knew it was coming but I didn't involve her in ring shopping or anything. I think involving her in ring shopping can be bad in that she'll be aware of the compromises, where when she is surprised by it she'll be pleased with whatever you choose. Personally I'm more worried about having to tell her that I can't/won't afford X than about her disliking the thing I get.

In my opinion, the bands exchanged at your wedding should be plain gold. This makes sure you both have the practical classy always in style plain option right off the bat, and also leaves you room to upgrade later. You can get her a more elaborate wedding band as a Valentine's or anniversary gift years from now. ((This may be specific to me, Mrs. FHM is both very minimalist and very expensive and very choosy, so I have minimal open slots to buy her jewelery))

Congratulations!

I think involving her in ring shopping can be bad

It does take away the chance to do a surprise proposal.

in that she'll be aware of the compromises

But this? Depends on the woman. My wife picked out a heart-cut diamond, with a tiny occlusion that made it lower priced than most diamonds its size. Her show of fondness for something that was cute and unique but kind of untraditional and weird, big but kind of flawed and cheap if you look too closely... it was a really good sign.

It does take away the chance to do a surprise proposal.

My take on this is, if you're ready it shouldn't be any real surprise that you are proposing. The exact details of the proposal can be a surprise, but you don't want to catch her completely off guard with it. So it isn't really a problem to involve her with the ring shopping, because she should already know that you are in the stage of the relationship where it's on the table.

Interesting. I suppose it could play out that way. I've definitely been in that position when someone shopped for me. I guess that section was hypothetical rather than empirical.

What is this place?

This website is a place for people who want to move past shady thinking and test their ideas in a court of people who don't all share the same biases. Our goal is to optimize for light, not heat; this is a group effort, and all commentators are asked to do their part.

The weekly Culture War threads host the most controversial topics and are the most visible aspect of The Motte. However, many other topics are appropriate here. We encourage people to post anything related to science, politics, or philosophy; if in doubt, post!

Check out The Vault for an archive of old quality posts. You are encouraged to crosspost these elsewhere.


Why are you called The Motte?

A motte is a stone keep on a raised earthwork common in early medieval fortifications. More pertinently, it's an element in a rhetorical move called a "Motte-and-Bailey", originally identified by philosopher Nicholas Shackel. It describes the tendency in discourse for people to move from a controversial but high value claim to a defensible but less exciting one upon any resistance to the former. He likens this to the medieval fortification, where a desirable land (the bailey) is abandoned when in danger for the more easily defended motte. In Shackel's words, "The Motte represents the defensible but undesired propositions to which one retreats when hard pressed."

On The Motte, always attempt to remain inside your defensible territory, even if you are not being pressed.


New post guidelines

If you're posting something that isn't related to the culture war, we encourage you to post a thread for it. A submission statement is highly appreciated, but isn't necessary for text posts or links to largely-text posts such as blogs or news articles; if we're unsure of the value of your post, we might remove it until you add a submission statement. A submission statement is required for non-text sources (videos, podcasts, images).

Culture war posts go in the culture war thread; all links must either include a submission statement or significant commentary. Bare links without those will be removed.

If in doubt, please post it!


Rules


Recommended Posts And Communities

Recommended Realtime Chats