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Notes -
Can someone explain to me: engagement rings, wedding rings, and wedding bands?
In the normal course of events, how many total rings are involved? Which ones are meant to have big gems on them, and which ones aren't?
Are there some sort of trends in what they're made of, what gems are common to use, etc.? (I've only ever heard of diamond, but I really don't know.)
I guess following on from that: is it really a common action to do the one-knee, surprise, "Will you marry me?" thing? Would you or did you do this? If you are the recipient of a wedding proposal, how would you want that to happen?
You need to know two things:
The second piece of advice applies to weddings as well. Use every opportunity and she will tell you what she wants. If she's into weddings where everyone in the party has to wear identical suits/dresses and fewer than 300 guests is unthinkable and the wedding cake has to have fifty layers, just run, don't even break up with her, just ghost her and move to another state.
The rest is debatable, but come on! It's so nice going to a black tie event where people follow the dress code and everything looks neat and tidy and aesthetically pleasing. Modernity is already so ugly, dress codes already so rare. Let us have this.
There's a difference between having a dress code and having everyone wear the same color. It's such a tiresome imposition on the guests to buy or rent clothes for this one event.
Black tie is even a step worse into the ugliness of modernity. The Dutch Reformation basically killed colors in formalwear and now we all have to live with the consequences. Let people wear some colors, as people have done for thousands of years before the Protestants fucked it up.
People wear ugly and garish colors all the time though, just look at modern streetwear. If this was corporate life in Japan or the City of London in 1957 then a healthy opposition to bland dress code conformity would be fair. But it isn’t. Today, black tie events are one of the only kinds of occasions when the holistic beauty of a crowd, that symphony of aesthetic harmony, is actually visible. Even office jobs now see a huge variety of outfits, colors and cuts. And rooms just sing when everyone’s in black tie, your eye isn’t immediately drawn to the people and their dress but to the whole space, the event, the vibe, man as collective becomes visible. It’s beautiful, in a way even a collection of fabulous but varied outfits could not be.
Agree, though this is all opinion. I am a great fan of the dinner jacket/tuxedo. I was very tempted (and still am) to get a custom tuxedo made for myself from a guy I now refer to as "my tailor" in Bangkok (he has made suits for US presidents--this to me speaks of quality of material and detail, if not style). I am a dinner jacket fan when I have only worn a tuxedo twice in my life and probably would have to search for reasons to wear one again. A man can always add a bit of sprezzatura by throwing in a unique pocket square, or cufflinks, or even socks if it means that much. That said, I am from a part of the world where the term "suit" is akin to "straightjacket" and most men would happily show up in a black t-shirt and jeans to any affair, including weddings, funerals, or the dubbing ceremony of their son by the King of England. I sometimes wonder if this is why I left. It's probably part of it.
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