domain:worksinprogress.co
vorpa-glavo
3m ago
Catholic doctrine holds Christ above Mary (right?) but I'm pretty sure most Catholics worship and respect Mary more.
Technically, the Catholic position is to worship (latria) God alone, and to merely respect or venerate (dulia) saints, including Mary. However, because of Mary's special status as the Mother of God and Queen of Heaven, she is offered "hyperdulia" the highest form of respect or veneration.
Tenaz
35m ago
Regarding not having a plan for a career, I have to say this was always the case for me.
I truly don't understand this--what you study has such a large impact on the rest of your life. It's probably the single biggest choice you'll make! If there is anywhere you should exercise judgement it is there.
In previous centuries, a husband in his twenties could start working and earn enough to feed his family and eventually even buy a house. Today, plenty of people feel they need two post-grad incomes to even consider kids, and few have delusions of being able to afford to own a house from the money they will ever make.
I can't comment on Europe, but in America most people have similar beliefs which, to my eyes, are obviously wrong. I have friends constantly complaining about how poor they are and how they can't make rent, but also literally never cook, choosing instead to eat out for every single meal. They spend more than their rent weekly on food, but prefer complaining to budgeting. It seems to me that most who complain about such things have really not put much effort into finding solutions.
Tenaz
36m ago
I'm not even sure what I would be looking for. I've known quite a few women who claim to have been taken by surprise by Master's degree requirements for their desired jobs, and no men. These women generally finish with a Bachelor's and enter the workforce doing something only somewhat related to their major.
I looked for surveys asking about how well people understood the educational requirements for their chosen careers and didn't find any.
boo
40m ago
broadly the same kind of state they already live in?
The Free State of Texas is going to have MORE gun freedoms, more free speech, no abortions, no homos, no blacks, no woman votes, and no troons. It will be paradise.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
44m ago
Hmmmmmmm....
Gaashk
1hr ago
that doesn't mean you can sell your food.
Yes I can. Nobody bothers the tamale vendors, clearly selling stuff they made in their home kitchens from out of their personal cooler chests. The teachers in the schools are selling their home cooked food (mostly tamales) to each other through the official newsletter. Just if they make enough money at it, they'll be expected to pay taxes.
Tenaz
1hr ago
If everyone's following my advice now, then I'll tell all women to get married immediately and all men to be good husbands. Problem solved.
Really, though, selection is actually a thing that all women can do. If nobody marries deadbeat men, then deadbeats and the corresponding bottom X% of the female population just never marry. This probably leads to some good effects--the marginal deadbeats realize they need to shape up to have a chance with a woman and do so.
It's good general advice to ask people to be selective about choosing spouses because it encourages everyone to shape up.
And yeah, some husbands will still be deadbeats, but I did say women should do both--be selective and get good educations.
ArjinFerman
Tinfoil Gigachad
1hr ago
I have heard of it happening now and again, or in an emergency, but it is absolutely not a regular thing
Weird, was pretty common when I was a kid.
it was definitely not illegal to watch each other's kids
Yeah, it's also not illegal to invite someone over to dinner, that doesn't mean you can sell your food.
Gaashk
1hr ago
If you're already taking care of a kid full-time, you can throw in a couple more, and barely see the difference
This doesn't appear to be true. It's extremely complicated to get a stay at home mom to watch another mom's kids even for a couple of hours of babysitting. I have heard of it happening now and again, or in an emergency, but it is absolutely not a regular thing, and I could definitely not pay my stay at home mom friends to watch my kids reliably, all day, at any price that I would be able to pay. I grew up around stay at home moms, it was definitely not illegal to watch each other's kids, and it also very rarely happened at a greater scale than very light occasional babysitting.
Gaashk
1hr ago
Ideally all women do both--getting sufficient education and selecting good husbands.
...? To the extent that there's any selection going on, it can't be done by all women? Do you just mean the women you personally know and like or something?
Gaashk
1hr ago
Sure.
But then you probably can't just advise a young woman to get a frivolous degree and hope to be a housewife, because even if it works out to get married, start a family, and be a stay at home mom from 22 - 35 or something (big if), she'll still either need to develop a very substantial hobby that might as well be a job, but without burning through all their disposable income, or have a plan to get a job that's sustainable as a middle aged and older mom, both of which take some amount of forethought.
Tenaz
1hr ago
A lot of women think most men are abusive and that they'll be nearly as fertile in their 40's as they are in their 20's. Our culture is extremely uncomfortable telling women that they need to get started with having kids relatively early, to the point that many women don't get that message at all and are shocked when they learn how female fertility actually works.
I would also be very uncomfortable trusting my finances to someone else. There's not just physical abuse to worry about--you also need to hope that they won't quit their careers to pursue a pipe dream, run away with a woman they meet on a business trip, or just get fired and fall into eternal unemployment due to depression. Getting education, and being capable of providing for yourself, is one way to deal with this possibility. Finding a good husband in the first place, one less likely to do any of these things, is another.
Ideally all women do both--getting sufficient education and selecting good husbands. As a culture, though, we refuse to acknowledge that at some point these strategies trade off against each other. Pursue a challenging and time-intensive degree and the best husbands will probably have already married other women. You may not have the time and resources to find a good spouse in time while dealing with educational demands.
I'm not saying women shouldn't get educations. Speaking as someone with no more than a high school diploma, I think a Bachelor's is probably the sweet spot for most women, but individual circumstances vary. I just think it's a shame so many people, men and women, operate off of faulty information and narratives when choosing how much education to get.
curious_straight_ca
1hr ago
My take:
Look I love rolling in shit as much of the next guy, but I think it has to be interesting. Yeah, critical theory gay pedo, I remember watching that video four years ago or whatever, but you can't just say the line for the thousandth time, try to do something new with it.
If jannies had the balls to moderate on QUALITY, and just say "yeah you're irredeemably r-slurred have fun on .win", jannies would be seen as sigma monarch chads and not whining virgins.
This place as a whole doesn't want any of that toxic stuff anyway. I'd say run back to rdrama, but rdrama comments in 2024 are so dull I sympathize with coming here. Try twitter, idk.
ResoluteRaven
1hr ago
Maybe a computer mouse or something like an NES controller for playing retro games? Alternatively some kind of optical scanner that can read barcodes/QR codes for data retrieval.
ArjinFerman
Tinfoil Gigachad
1hr ago
One of the few areas where this is not true is child rearing and i s part of why daycare is so expensive and why people sometimes quit work to care for children.
There is no way that daycare costs aren't artificially inflated. If you're already taking care of a kid full-time, you can throw in a couple more, and barely see the difference (it's the whole reason it's even possible for daycare to work). The reason your SATHM neighbor can't offer daycare as a service is that she's not allowed to, not that it wouldn't be cost effective.
AvocadoPanic
1hr ago
I read OP's post
Motherhood needs to be far more prestigious than any career.
and this had been the case when tfr was higher, though I don't see that @Tenaz actually makes this argument.
To claim that modern society has devalued motherhood and femininity, or made them low status, is completely backwards.
This disagreement with OP leads me to believe @To_Mandalay also believes that @Tenaz has said that motherhood was more valued before 'modern society'.
Though I don't see that he says it I read OP to mean the perceived 'value' of motherhood had declined from the past to the present. @To_Mandalay disagreeing could mean that perceived value had increased over time. Hence my question.
Motherhood and femininity in general have been devalued for as long as patriarchy has existed, so pretty much the whole of human history.
I now take this to mean that @To_Mandalay means the perceived value of motherhood has been flat or unchanged because the patriarchy. I don't find this argument particularly compelling.
ResoluteRaven
1hr ago
I think The Expanse and For All Mankind fit what you're looking for, and maybe Firefly and Battlestar Galactica as well.
Gillitrut
Reading from the golden book under bright red stars
2hr ago
This is a post in itself but a substantial reason why so many work outside the home today, and why women working outside the home is correlated with wealth and technological development, is because having access to labor saving devices heavily shifts the economic calculus in favor of women working outside the home. It requires far fewer hours today to achieve what would have been a full time job providing goods for a household historically. One of the few areas where this is not true is child rearing and i s part of why daycare is so expensive and why people sometimes quit work to care for children. Otherwise we have largely automated the tasks of homemaking, freeing people's labor up for other productive uses. Related to this is the idea of a "gold digger." A woman interested in a man for his wealth but who does not proportionally contribute. It's much harder to proportionally contribute without a job when technology can automate most of the things you're supposed to be contributing!
sweet
2hr ago
You can't make motherhood 'prestigious' because motherhood has never been prestigious. Closest thing would just be banning women from doing actually prestigious things.
This is the second comment in this thread talking about eschewing motherhood being the more "prestigious" option, hence the more favored.
Healthy women have deep-seated, base, mammalian urges to reproduce and nourish healthy offspring. It is hardwired in them to feel pleasure through these behaviors. The bond a mother has with her children and how they give great meaning to her life is a story in every culture in existence.
Women are forsaking these genetic behaviors for what reason? For whose benefit? Have we stacked the value of the maternal bond against an economic forecast and decided it doesn't measure up?
you-get-an-upvote
Hyperbole is bad
2hr ago
Is your argument that modern society values motherhood more? That there have never been so few women per capita becoming mothers, to me is evidence against this.
Why do you think this was his argument? He says nothing remotely similar to this.
Gaashk
2hr ago
I feel very confused by the way this is often talked about.
Women need jobs for the same reason men need jobs. Hardly anyone marries a well-off man at 18. It's not really an available choice for that many women, even in very conservative communities where it's theoretically ideal. Someone might say that they can go be a waitress or barista or something at 18, and sure, that's not that bad. But then unless both partners have really bought into the homeschooling lifestyle, most couples aren't all that happy about a woman who's just at home by herself or spending her husband's money with her friends 8 hrs a day. That was the issue in the 50s -- taking nicer and nicer jello casseroles and sewing unusually pretty aprons is not any more fulfilling than even quite a dull job, and husbands are not impressed by their wives chilling with their friends all day while they're at work. And then their kids grow up enough to take care of themselves, so what are they going to do? Running a non-profit for fun is for the rich, and costs money. and it's not great to be a waitress at 50. Maybe some women can take 10 years off to raise young kids, but there's another 30 years or so there where most of them will have to work, or face resentment and very tight finances. And for what? Lots of leisure is only enjoyable if you have money or similarly situated friends and neighbors.
Ah ok. We don't have those here.
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